by the BackpackingLight.com Readership | 2005-07-13 03:00:00-06
What follows is the result of a reader contest held by BackpackingLight.com: what are the top 10 reasons to carry a spork while backpacking?
Top 10 List Credits: Paul Johnson, Chad Lorenz, Casey Lindstrom, Catherine Moore, Gerry Olenick, Dave Plantenga, Alec Rieger, and Bob Spencer
Submitted By Paul Johnson
Ode to a Spork
Alone on the trail, with m'trusty ole Spork.
It's made'f pure Ti, ain't no rusty fork.
It serves so many uses,
It's utility never loses;
It's my friend, it's my mate, it's my Spork!
At days end I bivy, and cook up my sup,
It's all hot and steamin', in my solo Ti cup.
Then into the cup, the Spork I do dip,
And lift up the Spork, straight on to my lip.
I taste all the goodness, the warmth, and the food.
My heart is so thankful; it no longer doth brood.
I lift up my eyes,
give thanks up above
for my friend, for my mate, for my Spork!
Then into my bag, beneath my taut tarp.
The sounds from my belly, like sounds from a harp.
This night I'll sleep well
til morn's light surely swells
Tis much thanks I owe
to my friend, to my mate, to my Spork.
Little known trivia about the spork.
Did you know that the spork was actually the first utensil ever invented? Moses invented a three-tined spork to illustrate to the Israelites that each tine was symbolic to their right to God's love, fruitful land, and a lightweight desert pack. Rumor has it that Moses parted the Red Sea, of course, with his staff, but what do you think was lashed on the upper end, reflecting the power of God off its shiny bowl back to Pharoah et al? You got it: a spork.
Ryan Jordan and Alan Dixon got caught with too-light packs and their pants down at 12k in a storm in the Tetons, with an all-night rappel ahead of them down an unknown mountain couloir. They had 14 rappels total and ran out of gear after 13. After fishing through their packs and searching for that last piece of protection (there wasn't one), Ryan muttered with dismay, "Dang, I knew I shoulda brought a spork."
You can flick mashed potatoes the farthest with a Vargo Ti Spork. The design works so well in terms of potato capacity and balance that you'd'a thought Brian Vargo designed the spork exactly for this purpose. Watch the backlash, though, and wear goggles: the deep tines of the Vargo Spork can whip spuds right back in your eye.
Try here: Sporkelicous
"Top 10 Reasons to Carry a Spork," by the BackpackingLight.com Readership. BackpackingLight.com (ISSN 1537-0364).
http://backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/top_10_reasons_to_carry_a_spork.html, 2005-07-13 03:00:00-06.