I hear you Matt but the chuckles end with this scenario:
When hiking in Olympic NP, it rained constantly for several days (pretty standard here in Washington). With our brollies, my wife and I were able to dress for the temperature instead of the weather, wearing windshirts instead of less breathable clothing. Cruising through the rainforest, people were unhappy, sweating out their rain jackets. but not us- were were smiling, happy, and dry- no sweat and no rain drops.
The umbrellas are great around camp and can be used to protect a Tarptent from wind-blown rain- a trick we've used many times.
We love umbrellas, especially in the Washington lowlands and also in the desert where the rain and sun protection is excellent.
Sure, they aren't the best in high winds and you have to be ready to ditch a trekking pole (I attach my fixed length poles together with Velcro strips and use them as one), but an umbrella can be brilliant in the right situations.
I don't care about giggles- I care about comfort!
Check out my Birdiepal umbrellas spotlite review on this site- those brollies are the BEST!
Umbrella backpackers UNITE!
The picture is me and Marty Coatney (a reviewer on this site) enjoying a downpour in the Enchanted Vally in Olympic NP.