There was advice I got from a guy who lived in the country about what to do if a dog bites you (sorry to mix animal metaphors here, but I don't have a good snake one) and that was not to pull away, which is what they expect and probably want, but to instead shove your hand/arm hard down their throat until that gag. I doubt if this would work on attack dogs AT ALL, of course, but I have tested this on several overzealous pooches over the years, and it really works. After doing that you can virtually dare the dog to bite you and it will flee.
The moral of the story is this: I can already recognize the personality type (my aunt was a bit like that) and it may be just a certain style of communicating, albeit a very annoying one. This is especially true if you have a stoic personality type (as I do) which mixes very badly with the "mouthy" type, for lack of a better term. I grew up in the south, and the first time I met a large number of northern east coasters (alright, I'll say it - New Yorkers) was when I went to college. It took me a month or so before I felt comfortable, and finally realized that their aggressive way of communicating was just their style.
But, back to the shoving your hand down the dogs throat. I probably would have played along and said, "Damn, just when we thought we lost you. Well, tomorrow is another day". This shows her both that you don't take her complaints seriously, and that you are prepared to give back as good as you get. For some people they feel you are being hostile if you don't bite back, and are mistrustful, and for others the implicit if humorous warning is enough to moderate their aggression. Of course there are a few other types where things explode, but I say damn the torpedoes full speed ahead. The main danger with this approach, in my experience, is she will start liking you.
(advice for entertainment purposes only, no warranty intended either explicit or implicit, all legal liability null and void except in districts were explicitly prohibited by law.)