Sounds like you’re getting down to something quite reasonable.
Clothing is very subjective - What works well for one feller might not for the next, so really it is best to base it on your own experience, not what someone else tells ya!
I sure don't want you to suffer from cold / wet because you felt the need to drop an extra pound.
“so everyone is telling me to just use the driducks as a windshell, and camp/sleepwear as well. this is weird to me. i'm listening, it just seems weird.”
Yeah, back in the mid 1980's I finally was making enough coin to blow a pile on an expensive Gore-tex rain suit, ( I was in England at the time and I believe it cost me about 150 pounds! ) and I just about lived in that thing for a very long time. I still have the jacket and use it now and then, I keep it packed in my car.
It was made of fairly heavy nylon and unlined. It dried very fast, was quite durable, almost totally waterproof and it even breathed a little.
It became my standard garment for wind and / or wet. So the idea of using one garment for rain as well as for extra warmth and to block wind is old hat for me.
In fact, it was on one of those long mid 1980 White Mountain trips that I first tried wearing just shorts, and packed very light polypropylene long johns ( first generation, stank like heck and melted the first time I put it in a dryer! ) and my rain pants for leg protection. Those rain pants were heavily constructed enough that they worked fine for protection from brush and nettles and so forth.
I have mostly gone back to long pants pretty much for every trip, usually heavy BDU trousers. Hey, it works for me, that’s all I can say!
Now, the Dri Ducks are lightly built. So far I’m loving my set, but I doubt they will last much more than two or three years of careful use.
The good news is they are so very light. My size medium suit weighs about ten ounces.
Ya gotta take a little care using these as all-purpose garments, but I know they are plenty warm on a windy day.
This is a goofy photo of me in my Dri Ducks on a very blustery day out on a lake early last year. They were just what I needed to ward off a strong cold wind and the odd splash of cold water and occasional rain drop. Of course there are many types of this sorta thing on the market these days, and most are much more durable than the Dri Ducks.
I just like the dri Ducks because they are so light and cheap, and they are even soft enough to sleep in, but you may wake up hot and sweaty unless it is very cold.
Your Ladies list looks fine. All I can comment about it is to leave the chair at home. I think about all the ups and down you two will be hiking and man, I really don’t think it is worth lugging that thing. But then, to each their own! I have seen folk lug those things to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up again.
Only other thing I can mention is the trowel. My wife and I always carry one, but ours is a one ounce aluminum snow stake. Makes a fantastic trowel, is quite cheap, only an ounce, and it makes a great extra tent stake for when you lose one or the weather starts to blow!
We use a non-freestanding tent, so this is extra important to us!
But that saves only two ounces, might not be worth it.
Who’s carrying the food?
When my wife and I backpack, I carry the stove, fuel, tent, first aid / repair kit, my clothing, and all our food. My base weight is about 10-1/2 pounds.. On our last three night trip my pack totaled 26 pounds at the start with three quarts water.
My wife carries all the bedding for both of us, her clothing, the tent stake / trowel, and she just prefers a much heavier backpack than I do, so her base weight is about 16 pounds. With two quarts water she’s right at twenty pounds.
So her base weight is actually heavier than mine, but I try to carry most of the water to keep her weight down. The last day of the trip when all the food is gone I might steel some of her stuff to even our loads a bit. Kinda an odd way to do it but it works for us!