"Where's Doug, he could rewrite the lyrics for use."
Sorry, I've been busy butchering The Beatles instead:
To the tune of the Beatles’ “A Day in the Life” (my apologies to John and Paul)
I ate some chips today, oh boy.
And then I stood upon my bathroom scale
And though the numbers were quite sad
Well, I just had to laugh
My gut reached to my calf
I blew my diet at McD’s
I didn’t notice that my girth had changed
A crowd of doctors stood and stared
They thought they’d seen it all
Now they know how high that I can get my darn cholesterooooooollllllll
I’d love to loooooooooooooooose sooooooooooome weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
(Actually this is an old one, I found it while rummaging around on my hard drive before a computer migration)
Edit to add: love the 'bear canister'!