Like you, I run hot when active and quickly spin down to very cold when inactive. During spring and fall I use an Arcteryx Atom SV (100g/m2) and in winter I use a Patagonia DAS Parka (180g/m2).
I find that in shoulder season the Atom SV is quite sufficient and as the season gets warmer I switch to the Nano Puff (60g/m2). In the winter, no reasonable amount of clothing will keep you completely warm while static, and I find that 180g of insulation is enough to stave off discomfort long enough to get your camp chores and eating done.
These aren't the lightest or most compressible but I like synthetic jackets as I often don them while I am still a little sweaty and they do a good job of drying me out. Additionally (shamefully), my down jackets are all hoodless!
I do have insulated pants and like them for winter but I find them a hassle to put on and off, so I've been working with one of the cottage makers of UL gear to make something less annoying but still warm.
I do not bother with fleece unless I expect to be wearing it while hiking. I do sometimes make an exception to carry a lightweight fleece if I expect a lot of cold rain, since it keeps you much more comfortable under a hard shell in those cold, wet conditions.