I don't have any gear to give you but here are some ideas:
"#1-20 degree bag lite weight around 2-3 lbs"
Keep an eye on Gear Swap, geartrade.com, Amazon, and ebay for a Kelty Cosmic Down 20*. I picked one up for the kids for $89 from Sportsman's Warehouse but I haven't seen that deal in a while. Just be sure you get the Cosmic _Down_ vs the plain ol' Cosmic which is synthetic, much cheaper, but much heavier.
"#3-Thermarest neo-air or a pro-lite sleeping pad regular size"
I've never owned a neo-air but I've owned a few TAR self-inflating mats over the years including the prolite. I'd err towards the pro lite for durability reasons as they've been Scout-proof for me over the years from a durability standpoint. I still have my TAR mat from Boy Scouts; it still holds air and doesn't have a single patch on it.