I'll mention the items I hike with that get laughs. Only when I hike or walk in snow boots do I favor using very old fashioned men's garter sock straps to keep the socks up. When I grew up in the 50s, these were very common items in a men's store. Now, the only place I know to buy them is on ebay from a seller of them for hunters in Wisconsin. My socks tend to creep down beneath my feet inside boots (but not everyday shoes). I also wear suspenders only when I hike as the pack belts tend to pull my pants down.

Good point JT! I'll tell you that when these come along, it's rare that it's a trip that I'm making a gear list for. Usually I've got some crazy distance goal in mind when I'm making a gear list and in these cases, an "unmentionable" would just slow me down. And my trips involve family a lot...but oh, there were a host of "unmentionables" on my trips a few years back. :-)

One cool thing about insane mileage is the free hallucinations. I've found on more than one instance that putting in 40+ miles leads to seeing wonderful things that aren't there- the sound of laughing in the distance, my wife looking down on my from an uphill cliff, white frogs jumping all over the trail, a large bear that wouldn't get out of my way (so I had to walk right through it- a bush!). Yeah, way harder to achieve these than some of my trips in college but the weight increase is ZIP!

And 14 oz JT- that's some pretty good times you're packing!

Doug

Edited by djohnson on 07/07/2007 22:17:42 MDT.

JT as an acquaintance and since you know my profession - I should advise you that you should say "alleged unmentionables" or "something that you heard someone might have carried along on a trip somewhere". And if ever asked directly you should respond with "I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations therein." Now, with that out of the way.

Last year in the UnCompahgre Wilderness I did take a very nice Port in a small Nalgene to be shared by the guys. That is prior your testimony and now that I have seen the light my Nalgene Bottles stay at home. cigars no longer make it on my trips, nor will I be taking Port, Whiskey, Gin this year.

My wife went on one back packing trip with me 17 years ago - and she never went again. She will car camp with me and the kiddos - but that is it. After three kiddos - Condoms are no longer a necessity anyway, that has been remedied.

However I do like to carry my fly fishing gear and have contemplated the Granite Gear Football stuff sack.

When I first saw the word 'unmentionables' I thought of underwear (a bit dull compared to a condom in one hand and a bong in the other!) but it reminded me of my 'underwear story'.

On my last trip overseas I bought 2 pairs of polyester undies as I thought they'd be lighter and quicker drying than cotton. They were really hard to find but the 2 I bought were really light so I went home happy.

Next day I went to try them on and found out that what I grabbed of the shelf were men's G-strings !!!!
I had to laugh and as I told the sales assistant when I returned them, I never knew such things existed, at least not in a regular department store !

I've seen all kinds of things listed as "luxuries" -- radios, Ipodia, cameras, books --- anything that doesn't directly support your hike. A radio, PDA, a couple airline bottles of Scotch, and a heavier but oh-so-effective inflateable pillow in my case.

I think the heaviest thing would be a large roll of fluffy white toilet paper. Yeah, the good stuff. None of the cheap gov't institutional 'gives-you-hemorrhoids' junk.

Only the good stuff......oh baby.

A good smuggled Cohiba Esplendido on a cold, clear starry high elevation night. The only tobacco consumption I partake of, sparingly!----and in it's highest form. Serious chocolate notes. Courtesy of some generous overseas chums----you think I can afford these?

15 g.

Edited by kdesign on 07/17/2007 16:24:38 MDT.

You guys suck, (literally), ha.

I don't partake in that crap being in the military but all of my unmentionables, (electrolytes, ibuprofen, and other stuff) just go under my survival gear. Of course if things go really bad, I'm OD'ing on the ibuprofen.
For your intent and purposes the unmentionables would/ could be the same thing, (survival).

Edited by awsorensen on 07/17/2007 23:23:45 MDT.

you wouldn't understand, Aaron.


sincerely,
Commandante Sub-Zero :-D

(good luck on your JMT attempt)

A few weeks ago my wife and I plus another couple hiked the north side of Hetch Hetchy to Rancheria Falls.

Instead of going lightweight, I carried the Dana Design Astroplane Overkill, toted better food and 4 liters of Merlot in a box. It was dunb, dumb, dumb.

Never again. The women must learn to drink bourbon next time.

3.0 oz in a ziplock bag to keep it damp, and only when in the woods. It helps me Cope. Lasts me a couple or three days.

And a couple minbottles of baileys for hot chocolate with my wife in the evening on one or two evenings. We split one per evening (what can I say, we are lightweights).

Sometimes, some Monopolova or Ketel One in a flask. Goes great with clean snow slush and gatorade. All right, well, it is better than nothing.

Four kids. No condoms needed.

The leafy green passed through my field of vision in college. I kill enough brain cells via minor head injuries on the slopes most years as it is.

Simon

Edited by SimonHarding on 07/23/2007 22:23:02 MDT.

"A few weeks ago my wife and I plus another couple hiked the north side of Hetch Hetchy to Rancheria Falls."

Yikes...Rancheria Falls was the dumber move in my opinion! That place is rather unpleasant in this backpacker's mind. It is as close to car camping, given the crowded conditions and need for "designated" spots. Next time, do yourself a big favor and hit the cut-off for Beehive meadow. It's a lot more uphill for the first couple miles, but the rewards like Lake Vernon and Tiltill Valley are worth it! Plus you won't have a bunch or bears sitting around waiting for you to go to sleep so they can cruise your stuff.

Rancheria Falls wasn't remote but we went there from long ago remembered charm. I hiked it it in 1975 as a teenager. I remember the granite water slides and wading in knee deep water where the falls cross the trails.

My wife's still a backpacking novice and the lower altitude had appeal because of my recovery from two cardiac episodes.

The campsite concentration was annoying and the water crooks in the City of San Francisco are in cahoots with the nuckleheads in the NPS and are banning swimming in Rancheria Creek by executive order. The bears were scarce or at least not interested in us.

Vernon and Tilltill are nice, but until the NPS can get a better breed of park management I'm staying away from Yosemite. We went mid-week (Wednesday) and nearly all (less one non-armed ranger at the entrance) were rude, abrupt,and comepletly lacking the courtesy expected of NPS staff in the past. I'm pretty tolerant of most working folks who deal with the public, but every NPS employee had a bug up his/her ass that day.

Michael,

Of course my use of the word "dumb" was not totally accurate...but more of a play off what you said. That particular location was a bit off for me, especially relative to the remarkability of where I traveled just prior to getting there. (The opposite direction you and most others arrive there)

Not to hijack the thread too much...perhaps if I had had more of the "unmentionables" with me during my night there, it would have been a more positive experience??? 3 bears circled us all evening though, so I am not sure that would have been the best combo.

Sorry you caught the Yosemite guys on a bad day. Yosemite's popularity combined with it's relative easy access by 20 million state residents or so might make it a weird place to be in the overall "park system". If I wanted to be in the Front or Back Country as a ranger, I think I would avoid Yosemite (possibly most places in California all together) and anywhere along the Mexican border. It seems the joy of being in such grandeur every day would be tainted by either too many folks there for the wrong reason or who were abusive. I suppose I can see where some of the people start to develop a negative attitude. And do we, as a government, offer enough pay to attract and keep the best people in those kind of jobs? My guess is, if we cannot do it for teachers, than we cannot for rangers.

I can vouch that a ranger on horseback there several years ago past my group twice as we made our way up the canyon wall. He did not bubble over with personality, but in retrospect, I think he was making sure we survived the wicked heat and the 1800 feet in 2.5 miles or whatever the ridiculous thing was. He seemed to pass us right as we crested the hill. I also saw someone getting a ticket at the entrance gate. I think they are tired of the folks who break the rules.

A 'regular' condom (new in packet) weighs 3g.
Conversly a twin pack of Strepsils (throat lozenges) weighs 6g.

I don't know why I am comparing the two...
...however they are both lighter than an 8 pound baby.


Did I tell you that I just bought a digital scale?

When I saw unmentionables I thought it was in reference to femine products.

Haha

I agree It should be on a pack list

unmentionables? Things that you never see on a gear list?

house/car keys
ID
money/ credit card
compass
map (this isn't a consumable... why isn't it listed?)
map case
ziplocks

Evidently the first post has been erased...

The 'unmentionable' must have been mentioned...

maybe gear list it under 'Misc' or perhaps, more appropriately, "survival gear"

Scrolling up, I thought the dead had come back -- then realized somebody dug up a 2007 thread!