It might be hard to believe from certain vantage points, but i DO make a definite effort to try to keep my spirituality and philosophical side toned down here--considering it's my primary focus in life, and is much more important to me than gear, etc..i think i do an "ok" job at doing that. It occasionally slips out, but rarely in any long winded, overly involved, preachy posts, and most of that which has the former attributes has been in chaff, and really i don't even post that much in chaff. Seriously, if you read ALL my posts, you would see that i primarily focus on the parameters of the forums i'm engaged in. My initial post which apparently initiated or facilitated this firestorm of controversy, etc, was an extremely brief and extremely generalized and impersonal one.
Mainly, i'm upset by the amount of suffering in this world. It has it's place as a teacher, but it would be nice if things could improve more. It's one thing to intellectually be bothered by it (as i'm sure many are to some extent), but it's a totally other thing to acutely FEEL it at times (i've sort of been like the main character in the movie "Powder" in that sense for most of my life, and often treated similarly by my peers since kindergarten, as if i was an alien that did not belong here)
I believe the best way to improve things, is by being a positive example, and that is something i try to focus on doing here, there, and everywhere. However, it's rather hard to do on a forum without some mentioning of ones deeper ideals, wishes, experiences etc.
In person, i don't talk much at all, and certainly rarely talk much about my beliefs, deeper experiences, etc, (unless people ask questions). I try to let my vibe and example do the talking primarily. Again, it's rather hard to communicate in that way on a forum, and unlike MANY people, i only see preaching as "bad" or distasteful, when it totally deafens most others to one's words, but the old saying is also very true, often it's only those with ears to hear and eyes to see who will be the ones who listen and get it anyways.
So, stuck between a rock and a hard place, as per usual.
Sometimes i am tempted to the extremely apathetic and thinking there is no point at all in trying to help anything because the huge majority of people just do not seem to want to change this world for the better because it would involve such brutal self honesty, such self change, such dedication, such self sacrifice, that it's downright scary for most to even attempt to think about, let alone deeply ponder or try to enact. The price of responsibility is a heavy one, and the more aware you become, the heavier that weight.
I think i need a BPL abstinence or vacation for awhile.