"Maybe I do come across to you as bitter and twisted or maybe that is just how you wish to see me."
No, i don't see you as "twisted", that's a more negative and extreme characterization than i would use. Just think you could stand to open your heart a lot more, become more like a child again. A lot of men could benefit from this to a greater or lesser extent, it's a common problem with us men especially in certain cultures and parts of the world.
"The fact is that the one that is trying to escape reality is you not me."
Lol, "fact" huh? You're funny Franco. You really know very little about me, my life, my experiences, my beliefs, etc, etc. I've shared naught but a very small fraction of that here.
"That suggest to me that you are not happy with your life as it is."
See above again. And yet Franco, if i was as unhappy with my life and self as you think, chances are in my interactions with others here, there, and everywhere, i would be more observably negative. You know, fault finding, critical, snarky, sarcastic, etc . Most of the more deeply unhappy people i have met, had that in common, you could tell from their interactions with others that they lacked that inner peace, that attunement to joy, and in being in pain themselves did not have much empathy/compassion for others.
Perhaps you are "projecting" some here regarding "unhappy" comments my dour friend? I will tell you that you are partially right in an indirect sense. I'm extremely unhappy with the way this world is and is going, particularly my own country which seems to be an extreme example of manipulation and control on part of some very corrupt and self serving groups and forces. This really bothers me, less for my own personal sake, for for the sake of others. I have it relatively easy. Many people in this world are much more directly affected by this corruption right now than myself, but the way this country is heading, it has the potential to become worse.
Regarding the true nature of reality, are you really so sure that you have it all figured out? Because, the more i've dropped preconceptions and absolute certainty about the way things are, the more i've learned how little i know because reality is very, very big, mysterious, and truly "awe"some. I've been where you are. I use to be obsessed with science until i started to have experiences not explained by same. I really wanted to be a geneticist from the time i was 8 to 13. I also use to be like you are in that i use to be very hidden, self conscious, and more separative in nature. Talk about myself openly, talk about feelings, share or be vulnerable, be open, nope NEVER--i was about the quietist and most introverted person there was. It was when i was like that, that i was truly unhappy. I use to be chronically and deeply depressed.
Re: reality, i suppose only time will tell, eventually you and i will die, and either we won't exist (and you're right), or we will continue to exist and you will start to learn first hand how big reality is.
You once shared a book/author with me in your effort to convert me to the "truth". I did check it out some, looked it up on amazon and read the reviews.
Anyways, returning the favor some. Check out "Proof of Heaven" by Dr. Eben Alexander , who is a longish time Neurosurgeon. His specialty is the brain. He developed a specific illness and severe infection that essentially turned the cognitive parts of his brain into mush for awhile.
Yet, while he was dying and those parts of his brain dealing with cognitive awareness and perception shutting completely down, he was having very, very real feeling and vivid on all level experiences outside of space/time dimension. He said the experiences were more real, intense, and affecting than any earthly experiences he ever had. He didn't even want to come back, until he started to think about his younger son. He says point blank, from his scientific and medical training and mainstream scientific understanding, it should have been impossible for him to have had such perceptions and awareness while his brain was so compromised. In other words, his was not the typical near death experience which could possibly be explained by over firing neurons, massive chemical releases, etc.
Before this experience he was agnostic and had little to no interest in ideas of the nonphysical, Oneness, consciousness surviving death, etc. He said he looked down on people who held such delusional and backwards beliefs. In short, he was a very grounded and intellectual kind of man. His recovery alone is something of a medical miracle even putting aside the nonphysical experiences, etc.
But, i suppose you know more about the brain and his experiences than he does? Of course, it's easily explained away...somehow, (quick, grasp for something). Or maybe he's putting his considerable professional reputation on the line to sell a few books (most authors nowadays, unless they churn out perennially best sellers often, actually don't make much money directly anymore)? Ah, do you even realize the extent of your arrogance when you think you know peoples experiences, lives, perceptions and beliefs better than they do? It's one thing to think it (many probably do to some extent), it's a total other thing to keep reminding them, and particularly in the way you have with me with personal jabs and put downs.
In the future, if you can't be more constructive in your approach and interaction, i will simply ignore you and your jabs. Thus removing the thrills and frills of an insecure ego lashing out and getting it's kicks from putting down others.