"At least we're not there making it any worse than we (and the Bititish and Russians and...) have already made it."
To the contrary, we are making it much worse. The British created inherently unstable entities, to be sure, for exactly the reasons you mention. However, under a series of dictators going back to the overthrow of King Faisal by Qasim in 1958 and ending with the overthrow of Saddam Hussein bu the US, Iraq was stable and prospered. There was no democracy, to be sure, but people were well fed, healthy, and well educated. Our invasion and the preceding 12 years of sanctions destroyed all that and reduced Iraq to a chaotic basket case that will never be restored to its former prosperity and social order. In the process, we have started a war that has enormous potential for consuming the region before it burns itself out, and wounds us grievously in the process. and in the end, we will have gained nothing for our sacrifice of blood and treasure, while serious problems fester untended here at home. That is how great nations relegate themselves to the dustbin of history, and it breaks my heart to see it happening to my own.
"It seems like the Libyans are not totally pissed at us."
Depends on which Libyans you're referring to. Ben Ghazi is a good example.
" We should just let them alone to figure things out for themselves."
A huge +1
"We can help them build schools and hospitals. Trade with them, especially the countries that are more democratic and treat their people better. That could actually help stabilize the region."
Contrary to long held US assumptions that our values are universal, not all people share our emphasis on free speech, the Second Amendment, equal rights for women, etc.
Substantial segments of humanity place more emphasis on social order, full bellies, and a woman in the home raising the children than they do on saying whatever you please in public with a likely deterioration in public order, arming yourself to the teeth, and other staples of Western freedom.
Personally, I am very comfortable with our values in general, but I have seen enough of the world to realize that attempting to force them on other peoples who believe differently and deeply so is a fool's errand which will only result in enormous suffering both for them and us. With that caveat, I completely agree with your ideas about helping them to achieve a decent standard of living, in the belief/hope that their values will gradually come to approximate our own over time, and just out of basic human concern for our fellow man. In the meantime, I think we should be seriously evaluating where our own values have led us, both at home and abroad. We have much work to do in that regard, IMO.
Edited for content.