Forum Index » General Lightweight Backpacking Discussion » Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back...


Display Avatars Sort By:
Kiel Senninger
(Kiel.S.) - F

Locale: San Diego
Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/29/2013 21:56:40 MDT Print View

So, I have Sept 8,9,10 free and probably my last opportunity to get into the mountains before weather gets iffy. Problem is no one else is free. My wife isn't exactly warm to the idea of me going out alone. My friend said I could borrow his SPOT and I'm hoping that will help ease her concern. For those of you who go out solo often, how did you convince your significant other to be alright with it?

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife

Locale: Behind the Redwood Curtain
Re: Hiking Alone on 08/29/2013 22:00:00 MDT Print View

http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/forums/thread_display.html?forum_thread_id=40173

http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/forums/thread_display.html?forum_thread_id=1259

http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/forums/thread_display.html?forum_thread_id=13388

Edited by kthompson on 08/29/2013 22:02:25 MDT.

Kiel Senninger
(Kiel.S.) - F

Locale: San Diego
Thanks! on 08/29/2013 22:12:32 MDT Print View

Thanks Ken!

Kimberly Wersal
(kwersal) - MLife

Locale: Western Colorado
Re: Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/29/2013 22:18:47 MDT Print View

I simply offer him the opportunity to go with me.... If he doesn't want to come along, I get to go solo.

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Re: Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/29/2013 22:44:52 MDT Print View

Tell her an ex-girlfriend is available to go and suddenly she'll want to go alone.

If you go with the SPOT option, the wife has to know that "okay" means okay, but no news is NOT bad news. Otherwise, she'll freak out when you are in canyon, etc. PLBs solve that. You can only use them to call Search & Rescue.

Jeffrey McConnell
(Catalyst) - F
Spot or plb on 08/29/2013 23:31:51 MDT Print View

I borrowed a spot the first time and was able to convince her. I now have a plb. Just recently got her to go out with me on a short weekend trip. Now that the backpacking experience isn't so foreign to her, she's a lot more willing to let me go solo.

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Spot or plb on 08/29/2013 23:44:38 MDT Print View

I'de rather have that DeLorme Inreach - you can compose and send text messages

like "broke leg", or "delayed 1 day", or "ok"

with spot there are just a couple buttons to choose from, like "ok", or "911" but no idea what the problem is. You could prearrange that one of the buttons means "delayed 1 day". And you can't receive messages.

I'de rather wait a generation and get a unit that weighs 7 ounces, send and receive text, display topo map showing where I'm at, runs 40 hours on a set of batteries, stores a bunch of tracks and waypoints from previous trips, stores tracks and waypoints.

robert van putten
(Bawana) - F

Locale: Planet Bob
Old School on 08/30/2013 11:18:13 MDT Print View

I'm old fashioned I guess.

I just lay it out on a map and say "I'll be here, this is what I think I'll be hiking, if things get nasty I may go here, and I should be out by next Thursday. You know me, I'm a very experience solo traveler and I never do anything stupid. But if you don't hear from me by Friday, this is the phone number of the local ranger district."

I did a two week cycle tour in Iceland once and managed to get out only two emails to her the whole time. Big Deal. No news is good news.

I don't even carry a cell phone, but I reckon as how a phone that texts might be handy and an OK way to communicate in areas closer to civilization if you simply have to.

Maybe your the sort that takes risks and poorly plans trips and I can understand a mate being concerned about yer welfare, but either you trust each other or you don't. You either know what yer doing or you don't, and some electronic gismo isn't gonna change that.

M B
(livingontheroad) - M
solo on 08/30/2013 12:48:02 MDT Print View

Never have had that issue.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Spot or plb on 08/30/2013 14:01:00 MDT Print View

"I'de rather wait a generation and get a unit that weighs 7 ounces, send and receive text, display topo map showing where I'm at, runs 40 hours on a set of batteries, stores a bunch of tracks and waypoints from previous trips, stores tracks and waypoints."

Why wait, that's available now.

And for the "I don't have that problem" and "you either trust each other or you don't" responses, kinda unhelpful and a bit self-centered, don't you think? Some folks simply aren't 'outdoorsy' and they're going to worry so anything a partner can do to alleviate that worry is well worth a bit of extra weight and, quite frankly, is what a good partnership is all about.

To the OP, if you think you're going to have this issue repeatedly (instead of this being an unusual issue), look at the Delorme InReach SE. You can send and receive text messages (outside of cell range) with delivery confirmation, it's got an SOS function (GEOS, and because of the text functionality you can actually interact with 'rescuers' instead of just sending an SOS), it uses the Iridium network, battery is (claimed) good for 100 hours in 10-minute tracking mode, you can turn on tracking so your wife can follow your adventure, pairs to your smartphone for added functionality. 6.7 ounces. It's not cheap, but seems about perfect for your situation if your situation will be a repeated one.

Anthony Meaney
(ameaney) - MLife

Locale: Canada
Delorme In Reach FTW on 08/30/2013 14:04:47 MDT Print View

Just purchased one and used it for a 6 day hike of La Cloche Silouette trail. My wife who is a worrier of the first order was glad that I could send her texts every night to let her know I was ok.

As a bonus she would send me the latest weather reports.

Also came in handy to relay a message to the ranger station to alert them to a problem bear at one campsite.

Anthony Meaney
(ameaney) - MLife

Locale: Canada
Also on 08/30/2013 14:06:20 MDT Print View

In response to the original OP question - I let my wife have my credit card while I am gone.

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Re: Re: Spot or plb on 08/30/2013 14:15:25 MDT Print View

"Why wait, that's available now."

I don't think so, Delorme Inreach doesn't display topo map showing where you are

And when it does exist, I'll complain it doesn't take pictures

Bob Gross
(--B.G.--) - F

Locale: Silicon Valley
Re: Re: Re: Re: Spot or plb on 08/30/2013 14:18:59 MDT Print View

I may not purchase the DeLorme Inreach until I can watch reruns of Lassie on the screen.

--B.G.--

Sara Marchetti
(smarchet) - MLife
Oi on 08/30/2013 14:49:14 MDT Print View

What a great opportunity to start off a new life! Clean slate!

Justin Baker
(justin_baker) - F

Locale: Santa Rosa, CA
Re: Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/30/2013 14:56:08 MDT Print View

1) Bring some kind of locator beacon.
2) Print off very detailed map set and outline your route, including where you plan on camping each night.
3) Leave instructions on who to call if in an emergency.
4) Explain the potential risks to your wife and explain how you are mitigating the risks.
5) If she still doesn't want you to go, then you need to man up and do it anyways. It's your choice. It's a slippery slope until your wife starts dictating everything you do.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/30/2013 15:04:34 MDT Print View

"5) If she still doesn't want you to go, then you need to man up and do it anyways. It's your choice. It's a slippery slope until your wife starts dictating everything you do."

Hahahahahahahahaha! You did that on purpose, didn't you....

M B
(livingontheroad) - M
her on 08/30/2013 15:14:14 MDT Print View

Have you discussed with her that there is an equal, possibly greater, chance of something happening to her while you are gone, but you arent looking for her to be able to let you know how she is.

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Re: Tips to convince wife to let me go solo and still be around when I come back... on 08/30/2013 15:48:42 MDT Print View

"5) If she still doesn't want you to go, then you need to man up and do it anyways. It's your choice. It's a slippery slope until your wife starts dictating everything you do."

Hmmm

I wonder what your partnership history is : )

You got to be more clever than that : )

robert van putten
(Bawana) - F

Locale: Planet Bob
Bingo on 08/30/2013 16:02:00 MDT Print View

M B got it right - I worry allot more about her than I do myself.
But, I have left for a few weeks at a time, and so has she in turn.

In fact, when we first homesteaded we didn't have a cell phone at home. I'd jump in my truck and roar off to work, and if I had to work out of town for a week she was "stranded" on the homestead. If my wife had an emergency while I was gone, she simply had to deal with it herself. That included throwing an animal to the ground by herself and keeping it pinned while she reached inside to untangle a breach kid. She complains that such interesting things only happen when I'm gone!

- Shrug -

My replies here are not intended as insensitive.

We're a very close couple, but having livestock for years meant that one of us simply had to stay home while the other gallivanted over hill and dale, and having a somewhat remote homestead means you just have to be a little self reliant.

So the whole gotta keep in constant touch with civilization or each other thing just doesn't come up with us.
Like I said, we're old fashioned. Or maybe just a tab more self reliant. Or fatalistic?

If something happens it's gonna happen.

Last Saturday we experienced a heck of a storm at 6,000 ft on the Selkirk crest.
The next night another storm rolled in and killed a camper. It happens. It can happen in town a heck of allot easier than up in the hills. Civilization is downright dangerous compared to a backpacking trip, but I guess we're used to those dangers.

Anyway, after much soul searching we got rid of the livestock. We miss the animals and the fresh milk, but I can shoot enough wild meat to fill our needs, and we get to go camping together now!


http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2013/aug/27/falling-tree-kills-cer-during-storm/

" Thunderstorms pushed over a 200-foot-tall tree Sunday night in the Priest Lake area that killed a camper, sending staffers with the Idaho Panhandle National Forests into a scramble to assess tree stability at developed recreation areas before the busy Labor Day weekend.

Kyle L. Garrett, 48, of Sandpoint, died when the tree uprooted and fell on a tent at the primitive Stagger Inn Campground northwest of Priest Lake, according to the Pend Oreille County Sheriff’s Office. A 52-year-old woman was treated for non-life-threatening injuries from the accident, reported at about 11:35 p.m.

The Stagger Inn, with four sites, no services and no campground host, is near the popular day hike to Granite Falls and the Roosevelt Grove of Ancient Cedars in Pend Oreille County, just west of the Idaho state line.

High winds gusted across most of the Idaho Panhandle National Forests, which includes a small corner of northeastern Washington, said Jason Kirchner, a Forest Service spokesman.

With thousands of visitors expected over the Labor Day weekend, the Forest Service will check as many as 60 campgrounds, picnic areas and other developed sites for unstable trees. Depending on conditions, some areas could be closed until the hazard trees are removed, Kirchner said. Information about temporary closures will available at www.inciweb.org.

The strongest winds appear to have hit the Priest Lake area and the Coeur d’Alene range, but forest officials will be working with the National Weather Service to map where the most storm damage is likely to have occurred, Kirchner said.

Members of the Forest Service response team will be looking for signs of insect infestations, broken or cracked tops and other indications that a tree might be unstable. “Just because a tree is green doesn’t mean it’s healthy,” he said.

Deaths from falling trees on national forest lands are rare, but they occasionally occur, according to Kirchner.

Last year, Anne Veseth, a 20-year-old firefighter from Moscow, Idaho, was killed by a falling tree on the Nez Perce-Clearwater National Forests.

On July 20, 2012, thunderstorms packed hurricane-force winds that snapped and uprooted thousands of trees, raising havoc across northeastern Washington and North Idaho.

Two people died, cabins were smashed, forest trails and roads were clogged with blowdowns, campers were terrorized and thousands went days without electricity. Some of the heaviest damage was at Priest Lake.

In one of the 2012 deaths, a Walla Walla man was killed when a tree fell onto his pickup truck while he was traveling on a private driveway at Priest Lake."

Edited by Bawana on 08/30/2013 16:04:31 MDT.