"I’m trying to reform myself, really.
I’ve read Ray Jardines books and hung out here on BPL, and dropped so much coin on new lightweight gear last year that my wife thinks I’ve gone insane.
With our new lightweight shelters and sleeps systems my wife and I sleep so much poorer now while camping, but our backpacks are so much lighter!
Our new packs and rain gear do seem to work as well as our old stuff, but they certainly will not last anywhere near as long. "
Ray Jardine may have been a visionary back when he wrote his book, but many of his ideas have been passed up in favor of better ones or improvements on his that have come along since.
Your sleep issues need to be dealt with, regardless of the weight. I think the goal should be more like, "Whats the lightest system that I can get a comfortable nights sleep on" rather than just the lightest available. The whole idea of going UL is to make hiking more comfortable and enjoyable as a whole, which it certainly does overall. But any sleep that you lose to save weight goes directly against the over all goal.
As far as gear not lasting as long, that may be true with some things. But if taken care of, most ultralight gear is well built (albeit out of lighter materials) and will last a long time. I plan to use my down quilt, down jacket, stove system, shelter, etc for many years (at least until something newer and lighter comes along..he he he). I have yet to replace any of my major purchases just because of wear and tear, although I'm sure I eventually will.
I think we've all found many ways to save weight without sacrificing comfort, safety, or reliability. Sometimes there's a small sacrifice in convenience (Wood, Alcohol, or Esbit stoves as an example), but those drops in convenience are small and when put in the perspective of an overall ultralight goal, my knees and my back thank me at the end of a long day.
In the end, I would not be hiking today had I not discovered trekking poles and UL backpacking trends like the ones espoused in this forum. After an injury, my knees had said "no more" and I had to quit for years. But now I am back and having more fun than ever.
So I say "The lighter, the better" (unless there is good reason to go a tad heavier, like your sleep pad)