>"I have never and I will never use an outhouse / pit toilet to do #2."
When I do, I DO use some TP but for a different purpose. A factoid that stuck in my head from my First Aid instructor days is, "in 1900, the vast majority of black widow spider bites were inflicted on male genitalia." because that is what projects further into an outhouse and those bits have pretty thin skin.
Ever since, I've made a little TP "broom", lifted any seat, and swept under the seat and around the inside lip of the underlying outhouse. About 10% of the time, I'll dislodge a black widow.
TMI, I now.
For you non-TPer's, carry a small branch in with you as a whisk broom.