Homeland Security should pick up on that title ;)
I use a Houdini for a windshirt and a poncho for rain. That gives CYA shelter for day hikes and covers my pack completely, straps and all. I use a poncho for an undercover on my hammock too.
If you elect to replace your shell, get one with as many vents as you can find. My summers are cooler and getting soaked at 45F-50F and 90% humidity means you will stay wet and hypothermia is a common threat. If I'm working hard, it's a steam bath, but stopping or getting exposed on treeless ridges with wind gets COLD. Spare dry base layers and shelter are the best cure. With drizzling rain for hours and the high humidity, you ride the teeter-totter of choosing to get wet from rain or sweat--- it's about 50/50. Any breathable membrane will be overwhelmed, especially at my perspiration rate: vents rule.
This winter I bought a Carhartt Grayling jacket for around town use. It is 24oz-- a monster for UL hiking, but I'm going to try it on a couple day trips. It has size zippers, intended to clear a toolbelt, but they vent and drop over my pack waist belt. The side zipper stops about 2" below the armpit seam and has double sliders. The jacket has a full mesh lining and the upper pockets vent-- right where your pack straps block air flow. True to Carhartt design, it has bulletproof fabric and would be a first choice for wet bushwhacking.