Men's Fairy Tale
Display Avatars Sort By:
Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 12:08:25 MST Print View

"The author is anonymous as I received the Fairy Tale from an email. This may shock you, but it intended as a joke and is consistent with the replies from posters, female and male. Many find funny the absurd in life. Except maybe Doug.

If you don't find it funny, may I direct you to the Carbon Flame thread."

And I also have no sense of humor, I am told in another post. Hmm. And here I had hoped that strangers on an obscure backpacking website would appreciate my dynamic sense of humor. I am vexed. You have certainly given me something to think about, sir, and I will have to look into improving and/or gaining a sense of humor. You will have to forgive me for not understanding such a humorous OP, because as you pointed out and I accept without reservation, I have no sense of humor, and thus, could not possibly have known good humor when I saw it. It was not so much shock as you suggest, but bewilderment and awe. I thank you for your insights and will endeavor to have my "funny bone" live up to your masterful expectations. And woe to those who are directed to the Carbon Flame thread! Such a fate I would lament indeed, and the bards would sing the sad songs of my lamentations and the salty, salty tears that cover the custom made Cuben fiber tear shield I had made for my keyboard. As you can imagine for a person like me with no sense of humor, this was a wise investment indeed, and only weighs 5g (I opted for .75 for durability).

And you are of course right in pointing out that both males and females posted in this thread. That must of course negate any issues one might have with your brilliant and pithy wit--though to give credit where credit is due, as you note you are not the author of the humor, but this does not take away from the fact that you are of course hilarious! And copy, pasting, logging into BPL, clicking on the forum, then clicking on "start new thread" and then creating this thread deserve credit too, after all. But this reminds me! Please allow me to make amends and attempt to contribute some humor from an email that was forwarded to me:

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 12:56:09 MST Print View

"A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

I'm confused. Does one tent represent an independent woman that has eschewed marriage to solidify her decision to 'Sambo' and the other represent an independent man who simply wants to unburden himself from the shackles of marriage to relegate himself to his 'Man Cave' and fart freely?

Or is the reference to two tents represent the absurd nature of humour when humour attempts to generalize gender differences and / or Cesars original post.

Regarding my response to Cesar's original post: I now claim that Cesar does have an impressive sense of humour and I was clearly thrown off by the "Sambo" comment to which I thought was a reference to the Russian art of arse kicking.

Cesar - please accept my apologies.

Now lets all go hug our wives.

Roger Caffin
(rcaffin) - BPL Staff - MLife

Locale: Wollemi & Kosciusko NPs, Europe
On Frogs on 02/11/2013 14:59:37 MST Print View

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.

Cheers

Justin Baker
(justin_baker)

Locale: Santa Rosa, CA
Re: Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 15:06:36 MST Print View

"Two tents" sounds like "Too tense."

John Donewar
(Newton) - MLife

Locale: Southeastern Louisiana
Re: A talking frog, now that’s cool. on 02/11/2013 15:15:33 MST Print View

Cheers Roger ;-)

Now that's cool! ;-)

Party On,

Newton

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 15:27:12 MST Print View

Yes Justin, we know.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 16:03:47 MST Print View

Now lets all go hug our wives.

Good luck with that but please keep your Mormon propaganda to yourself.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 16:27:14 MST Print View

Brilliant.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife

Locale: Behind the Redwood Curtain
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 18:41:43 MST Print View

"Like having a wife is some kind of burden or hindrance to a husband. This is absurd"

Can I go backpacking this weekend solo? Renee says no. Hindrance Have to pay more in taxes, shop for two. More laundry. And a second car to take car of. Burden.

Not absurd.

21 years next week!







Newlyweds. You'll learn to do without.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 12:38:22 MST Print View

"Can I go backpacking this weekend solo? Renee says no. Hindrance Have to pay more in taxes, shop for two. More laundry. And a second car to take car of. Burden."

That has nothing to do with a wife, just reflects, perhaps, a poor choice in living partner. It can happen whether you are married or not, and can happen to women too.

In our household, we both pull our weight. My partner works fewer hours than me, and also earns less money. But that is made up for in my eyes by her doing more of the shopping, cleaning, pet care etc...so I don't have to do those things when I get home. And outside of our shared duties, we can do what we like in our spare time, whether it be going away on a trip by ourself, being a blob on the weekends, or spending quality time doing things together.

Barry P
(BarryP) - F

Locale: Eastern Idaho (moved from Midwest)
Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 16:26:56 MST Print View

“Just remove the toilet seat altogether - like they do in Spain.”

My mother-in-law lives near Madrid and has one of those bowls.
My son used it for #1. Abeula chewed him out, “That’s for cleaning your feet! You use the bowl next to it!”
I was disappointed. That would have been a piece of heaven to have a urinal in your home.
Conveniently, there’s a urinal everywhere when you backpack. Ahhhhhh.

Dang it, as I’m typing this, I have to go.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife

Locale: Behind the Redwood Curtain
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 18:40:48 MST Print View

Tongue in cheek response with a cynical and sarcastic element. Normal for us.

Bob Gross
(--B.G.--) - F

Locale: Silicon Valley
Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 18:43:52 MST Print View

"Dang it, as I’m typing this, I have to go."

That is a common problem when men get past a certain age.

--B.G.--

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: The Great Lakes Bay Region
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 19:13:47 MST Print View

Or men that have drank too much beer ;-)

Daryl Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Thanks on 02/12/2013 19:26:32 MST Print View

Thanks for the postings. I just read all 3 pages and am laughing out loud.

Franco gets my vote for funniest line (Mormon wives).

samuel smillie
(sam_smillie) - F

Locale: central canada
too tense on 02/12/2013 19:51:30 MST Print View

Thanks Justin,

I actually did not see that at all. Probably because viewing two tents as too tense still wasn't funny so I moved on.

As for you Caesar, I would have thought at the wise age of 32 you could keep your trolling off of a rare and precious joke thread at bpl!

You opened the proverbial can of worms and I only now have I gotten back from hugging my three wives who always let me go camping because we share responsibilities evenly and allow everyone to do what they enjoy YAY! (They make all the money and I work the bbq, TV remote, foosball table, and perform vehicle purchasing).

In the spirit Roger showed in bringing the thread back to life...


After a wonderful Friday night dinner with his wife, a husband asks his wife to put the bill on his credit card. She rummages through her purse to realize, it's gone! The husband pays cash and as he's driving his wife home, asks her where she thinks she left the card. She's replies she's not sure but thinks she may have left it at the mall on Sunday. They realize, she could only have left it at the last store she shopped at, but she can't remember which one.

Once they get home, the husband calls his bank to see where the last purchase was made. The bank service representative states it was at bestbuy earlier today. The husband realizes someone has stolen his card! He asks the banker how much money has been spent since Sunday. The banker lists off the purchases and sensing the husband's anxiety asks if something is wrong and whether his card has been stolen. The husband smiles and thanks the banker saying, 'no, everything is fine. I was just checking up on my wife's purchases. Lucky me, she's shown considerable restraint this week.'

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: too tense on 02/12/2013 20:55:45 MST Print View

Okay, let's bring this back around full circle:


A man and a woman, not married to each other, inadvertently find themselves assigned to the same sleeping berth on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they're both very tired and fall asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man wakes up and leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, Im sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies with a coy smile. "How about, just for tonight, we pretend that we're married...."

He's momentarily stunned. "Wow! Thats a great idea!" he finally exclaims as he starts to move toward her.

"Good," she replies. "Then get your own damn blanket!"

He thinks about it for a moment, then farts.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife

Locale: Behind the Redwood Curtain
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 20:58:48 MST Print View

Perfect!

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 21:51:01 MST Print View

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes
gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man
replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the heck was that!?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides'

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife

Locale: Behind the Redwood Curtain
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 21:57:58 MST Print View

Eew!