Two guys walk into a bar. They notice a gay whale, Miguel and Cesar at a table. The two guys turn around a and leave quietly.

Ken, I tried, honest, but I don't get it. Are you saying that the guys don't like gay whale meat, or that they couldn't handle Miguel's awful sounding attempts at engaging Cesar in speaking Spanish? Or was it the table?

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.

Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!

Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

>Are you saying that the guys don't like gay whale meat, or that they couldn't handle Miguel's awful sounding attempts at engaging Cesar in speaking Spanish? Or was it the table?


Trick question! It was the Cuban Boy Scouts sitting behind them.

"Two guys walk into a bar. They notice a gay whale, Miguel and Cesar at a table. The two guys turn around a and leave quietly."

"Ken, I tried, honest, but I don't get it."

Miguel, I thought you had a much keener mind than that. Sigh. Allow me to elucidate:

The two men were out sailing one day with their wives. A huge storm hit unexpectedly and their boat was capsized. One of the men lost his sight in the incident. The men made it to a small island, where the one with sight had to sadly break the news to the other that their wives, unfortunately, were killed when the boat sank and they were washed out to sea.

There wasn't much on the island, but the men survived by eating whale meat. The blinded man vowed to never forget the smell, it was horrible. After some time they are rescued. Shortly after that, the blinded man gets his sight restored. They go to a bar to celebrate being back home and alive. As they walk into the bar, the man who was blinded sees the whale, and realizes it smells nothing like what he was eating on the island. He realizes that his friend had actually been feeding him their dead wives, not whale, and he is overcome with grief so they turn around and leave quietly. Ken skipped the part where he later shoots his friend, then himself.

The whale being gay had nothing to do with it....

Hey Cesar, I'm sorry I spelt your name wrong. My bad.

I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling. I didn't mean to suggest you are literally a cave dwelling troll. I was instead trying to lightheartedly point out that your original post was kind of tread derailing and likely to cause argument and controversy, something commonly referred to as trolling. I totally respect your opinion and I think most if not all of the members at bpl are pretty aware that the world can be a mean place with discrimination of all types abound. There are so many problems with this world, it can be depressing at times. When it comes to hard times in my life I follow the mantra of 'if you can't laugh you've got to cry' and I try to choose the former whenever possible.

Obviously you are trying to bring about discussion around issues of discrimination based on gender, ethnicity, etc. Those are good discussions to have. Perhaps just in another thread. People are generally pretty happy to discuss controversial topics on this forum as seen in the BSA policy thread running strong right now. Maybe you can start a new thread and post a link here for people who want to continue the conversation. I suspect most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message.

Given that today is valentines day (er I mean thursday), I would like to share what I love about my girlfriend Katherine. She is a beautiful, smart and kind human being who loves me for who I am. She makes me feel comfortable and happy in her presence. When I am doing something that she doesn't like, she tells me which means I don't end up hurting her feelings or making her upset accidentally (ie no drama). We have similar interests such as eating (lol), internet shopping, science and good television. It may take her all night to finish a glass of wine (Asian alcohol genes) but I still love her. Tomorrow we will have been going out for 7 months!

As for a relationship joke>

A farmer walks into a bar and orders a glass of champaign,
Beside him a tall and beautiful blonde is sitting.
She too is drinking champaign and notes the farmers drink order
with a cheers to 'what a coincidence'
Her and the farmer clink glasses and she asks the farmer why he's drinking champaign.
The farmer says 'well today I'm celebrating'
The blonde replies 'what a coincidence, I too am celebrating'
She asks the farmer why he is celebrating to which he replies
'My hens weren't laying eggs for weeks and they've finally started to lay eggs again'
The blonde exclaims 'what a coincidence,
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for weeks and I've just found out I'm pregnant!'
The farmer congratulates her and takes a drink from his glass.
The blonde asks the farmer, 'so what did you do to get your hens to start laying eggs?'
The farmer says 'I used a new cock'
The blonde takes a drink and replies, 'what a coincidence'

Note: the fetus' were harmed in the making of this joke, the expecting mother was drink non-alcoholic champaign ;)

"Hey Cesar, I'm sorry I spelt your name wrong. My bad."

No worries. Thanks for that.

"I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling."

I was not offended, but thanks for that anyhow.

"I didn't mean to suggest you are literally a cave dwelling troll. I was instead trying to lightheartedly point out that your original post was kind of tread derailing and likely to cause argument and controversy, something commonly referred to as trolling. I totally respect your opinion and I think most if not all of the members at bpl are pretty aware that the world can be a mean place with discrimination of all types abound. There are so many problems with this world, it can be depressing at times. When it comes to hard times in my life I follow the mantra of 'if you can't laugh you've got to cry' and I try to choose the former whenever possible. "

I respectfully disagree that my post was derailing and meant to cause argument and controversy. My intentions I think were quite clear, which is to offer an alternative perspective on the stereotype jokes going around, and I was not rude or provocative.

Thanks for your reflections on life and hard times and such, but I believe me I am not crying over this thread--quite the opposite actually.

"Obviously you are trying to bring about discussion around issues of discrimination based on gender, ethnicity, etc. Those are good discussions to have. Perhaps just in another thread. "

I respectfully disagree. I think that this is exactly the place to have this kind of discussion, where it is immediately relevant. Not to mention that this is chaff and there are no rules as far as how to conduct discussions. And consider the potential pitfalls of just starting a separate thread on gender stereotypes. For one, it may get ignored by the very people that an alternative opinion challenges. Next, as this thread demonstrates, there is hostility towards dissenting opinions. By creating a whole separate thread on the issue, some may spin it as an even bigger play at being an "attention whore" or "victim" etc.

"People are generally pretty happy to discuss controversial topics on this forum as seen in the BSA policy thread running strong right now. Maybe you can start a new thread and post a link here for people who want to continue the conversation. I suspect most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message. "

I honestly don't care. If you really want to escape the baggage of real life, take your bro high-five lame sexist jokes into a private setting, not a public one. I see little difference in a lot of these jokes at the expensive of women than jokes at the expense of minorities, be them ethnic or sub-cultural or whatever. Just like you have the right to go to a pub and crack say, racist jokes using the n-word (and I fully support this right), I and anyone else has the right to call you on it there and then if one feels so inclined.

"Given that today is valentines day..."

Congrats to you and yours, hope you had a nice day, and I am glad that you are with someone that you are happy with.

My wife and I don't celebrate valentines day because we find it meaningless--it's just a marketing ploy to guilt couples into buying crap they don't need, not to mention make lonely people feel even more alienated. To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."

Does anyone have any "white guy" jokes? I'm serious. I want to look at the humorous side of my whiteness, cause I know there's some funny crap about us.

"White guy" jokes? Google 'redneck jokes'. Some are actually quite funny. Don't forget to click the "image" tab too. :)

"Does anyone have any "white guy" jokes? I'm serious. I want to look at the humorous side of my whiteness, cause I know there's some funny crap about us."

Two guys walk into a bar. They notice Dave Lutz, Travis and Doug at a table. The two guys turn around and leave quietly.

Isn't it Norway that has a troll problem? I saw the movie. They seem problematic.

My wife and I don't celebrate valentines day because we find it meaningless--it's just a marketing ploy to guilt couples into buying crap they don't need, not to mention make lonely people feel even more alienated. To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."
-----------

+100

(though I personally wouldn't say meaningless, it is an over-commercialized circus)

.

Edited by T.L. on 02/14/2013 15:44:25 MST.

"To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."

Does this include random farting?

On a more serious note, what is the baseline for being simply nice v.s. being extra nice.

According to Google Stats, Extra Nice is 32.75% nicer than nice but 97% fart free.
not many people know that.

Interesting Franco. So then one could surmise that Valentine's Day presents less effect to the Ozone Layer than any other day during the year. Not only that, there are more people smiling on that day. Ergo, we need to start farting less and smiling more. At minimum 32.75%.

I need to confirm this over on the Carbon Flame thread. Be back shortly.

"On a more serious note, what is the baseline for being simply nice v.s. being extra nice."

Being extra nice just means doing something nice that is unexpected and you don't do every day, especially if it is unexpected (so not a birthday, Christmas, valentine's, etc.... This will be different for every couple on the planet. Just make sure it is at least 33.75% nicer than usual, and you should be fine.

"I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling." -> I was not offended, but thanks for that anyhow.

Your welcome. I did forget that your were not easily offended. I also think what I was trying to say was, I'm sorry you twisted my accusation of you trolling (a verb) into the idea that I called you a troll (a noun) in an effort to dismiss your opinion and make you an 'Other.' That's where accusations of 'playing the victim card' come from.

In fact, by trying to label me as a name caller, I almost feel like my opinion is being dismissed and silenced. Don't worry I'm not offended though.

It was also interesting that I had to spell out the meaning of trolling for you to stop 'evading' my 'points' so to speak.

It was even more interesting that you deny your post was 'meant to cause argument and controversy,' given that when I suggested you start a new thread as I felt that 'most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message.' You say this is a bad idea because 'it may get ignored by the very people that an alternative opinion challenges.'

So let me get this straight, it's important for you to voice your alternative opinion to people it will challenge, but you did not mean to cause argument or controversy? Oh also I forgot that I accused you of being rude, funny I don't remember that. Another attempt to dismiss my opinion no doubt.

Your ignorance of hypocrisy and trolling aside, what is it your are hoping to accomplish with your posts? You clearly recognize the importance of a captive audience --> 'I think that this is exactly the place to have this kind of discussion, where it is immediately relevant.' So what is the message? Is it simply that:

You don't think jokes based on stereotypes are funny?
You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive (but not to you)?
You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive but you respect our right to make them so long as you can voice your dissenting opinion?
You hope your dissenting opinion will encourage others to not make stereotypical or offensive jokes?

What would be a perfect world?

One where no stereotypical jokes were ever told?
One where we stopped making them after your first post?
One where you convinced us not to make them through several compelling posts illustrating our moral depravity?
One where opinions such as your swelled to such a critical mass that we all felt jokes that were at the expense of someone else were inappropriate?

What defines an appropriate joke vs and inappropriate joke? Or funny vs unfunny joke?

Forget about jokes, what about everyday sayings? For instance, I'm having a conversation with a group of people about relationships and the importance of our significant other's and in response to someone's anecdote I reply 'happy wife, happy life.' Is that sexist? Was the woman at the table who accused me of being sexist right? (true story) If I had said 'happy partner, happy life' would that have made it an appropriate catch phrase?

What kind of discussion will satisfy you Cesar? When will you get what you need out of this thread to satisfy yourself and wander off to share your holier than though rhetoric elsewhere? Are stereotypical jokes even worthy of your efforts? Surely there are bigger fish for you to fry.

I guess I wasn't sexist till I got married and realized all the stereotypes about women were true.

Just wanted to say that I like pizza.