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Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/05/2013 14:24:23 MST Print View

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said,'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and expensive scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/05/2013 14:31:48 MST Print View

Hehe.

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/05/2013 14:45:36 MST Print View

and died earlier than if she had said yes : )

she would have died at the same time regardless

Roger Caffin
(rcaffin) - BPL Staff - MLife

Locale: Wollemi & Kosciusko NPs, Europe
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/05/2013 20:18:51 MST Print View

> she would have died at the same time regardless
Highly debatable. Childbirth and child raising have been known to seriously affect life expectancy. OK, not so much these days with improved health care (in Australia).

Cheers

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/05/2013 20:48:51 MST Print View

I do appreciate you not using my name, David.....

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 09:50:39 MST Print View

David, I showed this to my wife, and she had a good chuckle. She told me I should have replied with this: "Yeah, I got married and I still do those things!"

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 10:08:48 MST Print View

Travis, bless your Wife's heart.

Me too but it is usually followed with a slap and then a shopping spree.

Thom Darrah
(thomdarrah) - MLife

Locale: Southern Oregon
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 10:27:21 MST Print View

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said,'YES!'

They got married, they got divorced!

The guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went HIKING, TENKARA FISHING and TRAIL RUNNING a lot and drank beer and expensive scotch and had SOME money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 11:25:22 MST Print View

"David, I showed this to my wife, and she had a good chuckle. She told me I should have replied with this: "Yeah, I got married and I still do those things!""

So the story, for Travis, should read:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'YES!' (and probably - 'What took you so long!?)

And the guy lived ever after with his wife telling him to tell others that he had her permission to ride motorcycles and go fishing and hunt and play golf a lot and drink beer and expensive scotch etc. etc....

The End

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 15:49:36 MST Print View

Once upon a time, a guy met a girl on a backpacking trip and later asked the girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said,'Yes.'

They got married on a beach. She finished medical residency. They moved to Alaska.

The guy goes hiking, backpacking, fishing, and travels around the USA and the world. The girl goes hiking, backpacking, traveling and rowing. There's money in the bank, craft beers and nice wine in fridge, and ski trails around our 13 acres.

He has, however, learned to put the toilet seat down.

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Alaskan personal ad on 02/06/2013 15:53:40 MST Print View

"I want a woman who can wash clothes, cook tasty food, get me beer, butcher a moose, check my trapline and look after my dog. Must have boat and motor. Please send photo. Of the boat and motor."

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Iditarod on 02/06/2013 15:54:46 MST Print View

It has been widely observed that a dog musher needs a truck and a wife.

And they both need to work.

ed hyatt
(edhyatt) - MLife

Locale: The North; UK
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 16:02:18 MST Print View

'Nice wine in a fridge'...oh come on...!

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 16:10:07 MST Print View

"'Nice wine in a fridge'...oh come on...!"

Probably white wine

robert van putten
(Bawana) - F

Locale: Planet Bob
working wife on 02/06/2013 16:26:50 MST Print View

Nobody works harder than my wife, she dug the foundation for our cottage with a shovel all by herself!

I'd jump in the truck and head to town to go to work, and she would spend part of the day digging. In the evening I'd pickax the spots she had trouble with.

She dug the drain field all by herself too.


It's kind of embarasing when your wife has better caluses on her hands than you do....

Miguel Arboleda
(butuki) - MLife

Locale: Kanto Plain, Japan
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 16:36:49 MST Print View

What is it with that whole western (I've never heard anyone here ever say that) "put the toilet seat down" thing? I know why it is demanded, but I've often wondered why the women who complain don't think to see why having the toilet seat up might be something the men want, and why what the women want is more important. How often do you hear of men making a "mistake" when the toilet seat is down? Either way, why don't the affected individuals stay more alert and avoid any mishaps? I mean, you don't slam the door shut on your own hand, now, do you? Or step onto a precipice trail with your eyes closed? You watch out for that. And when you see it, all it takes is a small effort to lower the seat, no biggie, same as lifting the seat. Silly and totally picayune gripe.

Now, the "drinking the milk from the container" thing makes a lot more sense...

jerry adams
(retiredjerry) - MLife

Locale: Oregon and Washington
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 16:45:48 MST Print View

I'm pxxxed because my wife keeps leaving the toilet seat down

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
Re: working wife on 02/06/2013 17:00:17 MST Print View

"I'd jump in the truck and head to town to go to work, and she would spend part of the day digging. In the evening I'd pickax the spots she had trouble with.

She dug the drain field all by herself too.


It's kind of embarasing when your wife has better caluses on her hands than you do...."




Gotta love a man who appreciates calluses on a woman's hands!

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 17:16:04 MST Print View

I always leave the toilet seat down.

I just wish my wife would do the same.

Daniel Goldenberg
(dag4643) - M

Locale: Pacific Northwet
Re: Re: working wife on 02/06/2013 17:18:23 MST Print View

Just remove the toilet seat altogether - like they do in Spain.

Problem solved.

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
Toilet seats on 02/06/2013 17:22:24 MST Print View

I like the lid down altogether, before one flushes....avoid the bacterial plume that supposedly can reach your toothbrush by the sink.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 17:25:01 MST Print View

"What is it with that whole western (I've never heard anyone here ever say that) "put the toilet seat down" thing?"

I'm single, and I still always put the toilet seat down. It only takes one late night, stumble into the bathroom, don't bother turning the light on, sit down on very cold porcelain, jump back up with pants still down around ankles and almost fall face first kinda moment.....

Then again, I'm old, that might have something to do with it....

robert van putten
(Bawana) - F

Locale: Planet Bob
Toilet? on 02/06/2013 17:33:24 MST Print View

Toilet? Who uses those silly things???


outhouse

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 17:52:15 MST Print View

Douglas nailed it on the head. I only object to the toilet seat being up in the middle of the night when I don't turn the light on because I don't really want to wake up THAT much. However, sitting on cold porcelain with the feeling you are about to fall in is definitely a way to wake up really fast...

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Re: Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/06/2013 18:10:38 MST Print View

"A woman drove me to drink, and I am forever grateful to her"

Winston Churchill

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Toilet Seat on 02/07/2013 20:59:38 MST Print View

LOTS of people squat to do their business -- even when they encounter Western "sit down" toilets -- which many consider rather gross. Travel to those countries, and you will often see signs like this:

z

Edited by ben2world on 02/07/2013 21:03:28 MST.

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Re: Re: working wife on 02/10/2013 23:05:49 MST Print View

>"Gotta love a man who appreciates calluses on a woman's hands!"

I was teaching a CPR class 2 blocks west of the UC Berkeley campus and two young women were doing full-depth chest compressions (rare among first aiders) and I asked them, "Are you on Crew?" They looked surprised that I knew (they weren't in team sweatshirts) and I explained, "With the way your hands are calloused and you're beating up my manikins, you're either on Crew or you chop a cord of wood every morning."

30 years later and I'm married to a competitive rower (no, not from the CPR class, I met Kristin on a gourmet BPing trip). I can tell the season by her hands (roughest during our short on-the-water season).

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 01:18:58 MST Print View

"Just remove the toilet seat altogether - like they do in Spain.

Problem solved."

Spain is one of the nations I have traveled to the most and covered many different areas of, starting when I first went there when I was 8 years old (I am 32 now). For the past 5 years, once a year in the summer, I go to Mallorca where my in-laws own a home in a small village.

I can not recall a single instance that I used a toilet that did not have a seat on it.

As to the OP and marriage:

1. The institution of marriage is a fairly new concept when it comes to humanity. Humans from what I gather have been around roughly 200,000 years, and "civilization" and recorded history has been around about 6,000 years.

2. Not in all cultures even today is marriage expected or common, and the definition of marriage is different all over the world and throughout history. For example here in Sweden many people opt to become "sambo", which means two people in love living together without getting married, and may or may not include having and raising children together.

3. The OP's narrative implies that the female would have prevented the male from doing the things described had she said yes. Like having a wife is some kind of burden or hindrance to a husband. This is absurd, and I question what exactly the author is trying to accomplish.

John Donewar
(Newton) - MLife

Locale: Southeastern Louisiana
D.O.T. Approved High Traffic Area ? ;-) on 02/11/2013 04:41:20 MST Print View

@RvP,

Semi ultralight version.

High traffic area ;-)

Note the lack of superfluous lumber, reflective tape for night visits by headlamp, high traction non-slip footrests and Mike Clelland approved paperless hygiene system. Must be a BYOBOG, (bring your own bundle of grass) privy.

Best of all, no bacterial "plume" due to flushing with the lid up! ;-)

Party On,

Newton

Jason Amick
(isneer) - F
Re on 02/11/2013 04:49:18 MST Print View

lols, its very simple!

Joe Clement
(skinewmexico) - MLife

Locale: Southwest
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 07:55:34 MST Print View

"Why do men die before their wives?"




Because they want to!!!!!

Man, we had a good, funny thread going, and some of you guys have to get all romantic and suck-upy.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 08:22:17 MST Print View

"The OP's narrative implies that the female would have prevented the male from doing the things described had she said yes. Like having a wife is some kind of burden or hindrance to a husband. This is absurd, and I question what exactly the author is trying to accomplish."


The author is anonymous as I received the Fairy Tale from an email. This may shock you, but it intended as a joke and is consistent with the replies from posters, female and male. Many find funny the absurd in life. Except maybe Doug.

If you don't find it funny, may I direct you to the Carbon Flame thread.

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 08:31:10 MST Print View

I am with Dave here and I tend t speak up.....
This was light hearted and therefore not offensive in my opinion.

spelt !
(spelt) - F

Locale: Midwest
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 08:31:48 MST Print View

It's not absurd, or humor; it's tired stereotypes. When will we be over this Mars/Venus cr@p....

I agree with Cesar. Thanks for speaking up.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 08:36:57 MST Print View

For Spelt and Cesar, who lack senses of humour.

Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
self assured princess,
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess' lap
and said:
" Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young Prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night,
on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs
seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

"I don't think so!"

David Thomas
(DavidinKenai) - MLife

Locale: North Woods. Far North.
Independent women AND funny. on 02/11/2013 10:31:59 MST Print View

Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
self assured princess,. . .

I really like "The Paper Bag Princess" by Robert Munsch

http://www.amazon.com/The-Paper-Princess-Classic-Munsch/dp/0920236162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360603759&sr=8-1&keywords=paper+bag+princess

I'd rather my daughter was the Paper Bag Princess (and she sort of is) than my son be Prince Ronald.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 10:32:28 MST Print View

nm

Edited by T.L. on 02/11/2013 10:33:22 MST.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Independent women AND funny. on 02/11/2013 11:08:13 MST Print View

May I ask how you connected the theme of the "Men's Fairy Tale" to the lack of independence of women, or am I reading too much into your post?

(BTW, my favorite Munsch's book is Love you Forever)

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 11:38:45 MST Print View

"Many find funny the absurd in life. Except maybe Doug."

Damn straight. Don't know why you Canadiens think life is supposed to be so darn funny. It's not, it's very serious business.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/11/2013 11:42:54 MST Print View

Doug, I mostly agree with you.

Life is very serious business, except for birthdays. I think you should be able to laugh and have fun on your birthday, partly because its good for you. In fact, studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 12:08:25 MST Print View

"The author is anonymous as I received the Fairy Tale from an email. This may shock you, but it intended as a joke and is consistent with the replies from posters, female and male. Many find funny the absurd in life. Except maybe Doug.

If you don't find it funny, may I direct you to the Carbon Flame thread."

And I also have no sense of humor, I am told in another post. Hmm. And here I had hoped that strangers on an obscure backpacking website would appreciate my dynamic sense of humor. I am vexed. You have certainly given me something to think about, sir, and I will have to look into improving and/or gaining a sense of humor. You will have to forgive me for not understanding such a humorous OP, because as you pointed out and I accept without reservation, I have no sense of humor, and thus, could not possibly have known good humor when I saw it. It was not so much shock as you suggest, but bewilderment and awe. I thank you for your insights and will endeavor to have my "funny bone" live up to your masterful expectations. And woe to those who are directed to the Carbon Flame thread! Such a fate I would lament indeed, and the bards would sing the sad songs of my lamentations and the salty, salty tears that cover the custom made Cuben fiber tear shield I had made for my keyboard. As you can imagine for a person like me with no sense of humor, this was a wise investment indeed, and only weighs 5g (I opted for .75 for durability).

And you are of course right in pointing out that both males and females posted in this thread. That must of course negate any issues one might have with your brilliant and pithy wit--though to give credit where credit is due, as you note you are not the author of the humor, but this does not take away from the fact that you are of course hilarious! And copy, pasting, logging into BPL, clicking on the forum, then clicking on "start new thread" and then creating this thread deserve credit too, after all. But this reminds me! Please allow me to make amends and attempt to contribute some humor from an email that was forwarded to me:

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 12:56:09 MST Print View

"A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

I'm confused. Does one tent represent an independent woman that has eschewed marriage to solidify her decision to 'Sambo' and the other represent an independent man who simply wants to unburden himself from the shackles of marriage to relegate himself to his 'Man Cave' and fart freely?

Or is the reference to two tents represent the absurd nature of humour when humour attempts to generalize gender differences and / or Cesars original post.

Regarding my response to Cesar's original post: I now claim that Cesar does have an impressive sense of humour and I was clearly thrown off by the "Sambo" comment to which I thought was a reference to the Russian art of arse kicking.

Cesar - please accept my apologies.

Now lets all go hug our wives.

Roger Caffin
(rcaffin) - BPL Staff - MLife

Locale: Wollemi & Kosciusko NPs, Europe
On Frogs on 02/11/2013 14:59:37 MST Print View

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.

Cheers

Justin Baker
(justin_baker) - F

Locale: west coast best coast
Re: Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 15:06:36 MST Print View

"Two tents" sounds like "Too tense."

John Donewar
(Newton) - MLife

Locale: Southeastern Louisiana
Re: A talking frog, now that’s cool. on 02/11/2013 15:15:33 MST Print View

Cheers Roger ;-)

Now that's cool! ;-)

Party On,

Newton

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: Not surprised. on 02/11/2013 15:27:12 MST Print View

Yes Justin, we know.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 16:03:47 MST Print View

Now lets all go hug our wives.

Good luck with that but please keep your Mormon propaganda to yourself.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 16:27:14 MST Print View

Brilliant.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/11/2013 18:41:43 MST Print View

"Like having a wife is some kind of burden or hindrance to a husband. This is absurd"

Can I go backpacking this weekend solo? Renee says no. Hindrance Have to pay more in taxes, shop for two. More laundry. And a second car to take car of. Burden.

Not absurd.

21 years next week!







Newlyweds. You'll learn to do without.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 12:38:22 MST Print View

"Can I go backpacking this weekend solo? Renee says no. Hindrance Have to pay more in taxes, shop for two. More laundry. And a second car to take car of. Burden."

That has nothing to do with a wife, just reflects, perhaps, a poor choice in living partner. It can happen whether you are married or not, and can happen to women too.

In our household, we both pull our weight. My partner works fewer hours than me, and also earns less money. But that is made up for in my eyes by her doing more of the shopping, cleaning, pet care etc...so I don't have to do those things when I get home. And outside of our shared duties, we can do what we like in our spare time, whether it be going away on a trip by ourself, being a blob on the weekends, or spending quality time doing things together.

Barry P
(BarryP) - F

Locale: Eastern Idaho (moved from Midwest)
Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 16:26:56 MST Print View

“Just remove the toilet seat altogether - like they do in Spain.”

My mother-in-law lives near Madrid and has one of those bowls.
My son used it for #1. Abeula chewed him out, “That’s for cleaning your feet! You use the bowl next to it!”
I was disappointed. That would have been a piece of heaven to have a urinal in your home.
Conveniently, there’s a urinal everywhere when you backpack. Ahhhhhh.

Dang it, as I’m typing this, I have to go.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 18:40:48 MST Print View

Tongue in cheek response with a cynical and sarcastic element. Normal for us.

Bob Gross
(--B.G.--) - F

Locale: Silicon Valley
Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 18:43:52 MST Print View

"Dang it, as I’m typing this, I have to go."

That is a common problem when men get past a certain age.

--B.G.--

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Lartnec Nagihcim
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: working wife on 02/12/2013 19:13:47 MST Print View

Or men that have drank too much beer ;-)

Daryl Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Thanks on 02/12/2013 19:26:32 MST Print View

Thanks for the postings. I just read all 3 pages and am laughing out loud.

Franco gets my vote for funniest line (Mormon wives).

samuel smillie
(sam_smillie) - F

Locale: central canada
too tense on 02/12/2013 19:51:30 MST Print View

Thanks Justin,

I actually did not see that at all. Probably because viewing two tents as too tense still wasn't funny so I moved on.

As for you Caesar, I would have thought at the wise age of 32 you could keep your trolling off of a rare and precious joke thread at bpl!

You opened the proverbial can of worms and I only now have I gotten back from hugging my three wives who always let me go camping because we share responsibilities evenly and allow everyone to do what they enjoy YAY! (They make all the money and I work the bbq, TV remote, foosball table, and perform vehicle purchasing).

In the spirit Roger showed in bringing the thread back to life...


After a wonderful Friday night dinner with his wife, a husband asks his wife to put the bill on his credit card. She rummages through her purse to realize, it's gone! The husband pays cash and as he's driving his wife home, asks her where she thinks she left the card. She's replies she's not sure but thinks she may have left it at the mall on Sunday. They realize, she could only have left it at the last store she shopped at, but she can't remember which one.

Once they get home, the husband calls his bank to see where the last purchase was made. The bank service representative states it was at bestbuy earlier today. The husband realizes someone has stolen his card! He asks the banker how much money has been spent since Sunday. The banker lists off the purchases and sensing the husband's anxiety asks if something is wrong and whether his card has been stolen. The husband smiles and thanks the banker saying, 'no, everything is fine. I was just checking up on my wife's purchases. Lucky me, she's shown considerable restraint this week.'

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: too tense on 02/12/2013 20:55:45 MST Print View

Okay, let's bring this back around full circle:


A man and a woman, not married to each other, inadvertently find themselves assigned to the same sleeping berth on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they're both very tired and fall asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man wakes up and leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, Im sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies with a coy smile. "How about, just for tonight, we pretend that we're married...."

He's momentarily stunned. "Wow! Thats a great idea!" he finally exclaims as he starts to move toward her.

"Good," she replies. "Then get your own damn blanket!"

He thinks about it for a moment, then farts.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 20:58:48 MST Print View

Perfect!

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 21:51:01 MST Print View

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes
gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man
replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the heck was that!?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides'

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 21:57:58 MST Print View

Eew!

John Donewar
(Newton) - MLife

Locale: Southeastern Louisiana
Men's Cajun Fairy Tale on 02/12/2013 22:02:11 MST Print View

Boudreaux and Clotile are long time married.

While attending a party Clotile spots an old boyfriend on the dance floor laughing, smiling and generally having a great time.

Clotile points him out to Boudreaux and informs her husband of many years that the old boyfriend is a doctor and has plenty of money. She further informs Boudreaux that she chose to marry Boudreaux instead of the doctor. She asks Boudreaux what he thinks about that fact.

Boudreaux casts an eye towards the doctor on the dance floor and says, "It looks like he is still celebrating." ;-)

Party On,

Newton

Daryl Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
I'm Out on 02/12/2013 22:04:03 MST Print View

I'm cancelling my BPL membership after that one. (the half time football one)

Edited by lyrad1 on 02/13/2013 09:29:11 MST.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
True story on 02/12/2013 22:27:40 MST Print View

A while back I figured out that I have been with Renee for more than half my life. Upon informing her of this milestone, her response was, "I'm so sorry."



Good one Newton!

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Now I'm a troll? Another big surprise. on 02/13/2013 01:57:46 MST Print View

"As for you Caesar, I would have thought at the wise age of 32 you could keep your trolling off of a rare and precious joke thread at bpl!"

First of all it's Cesar, not Caesar. Next, I find it amusing that now I am a troll. I mean, I get it, it's easier to disregard a dissenting opinion if you just turn them into an "other" by just calling them a troll.

It's simple really. I am opposed to dominant culture's sexist stereotypes of women. I understand that this is not very popular, and that everyone will just appeal to the cop-out of "but it's just funny ha ha jokes" or whatever. As a minority myself, I am more sensitive to these issues of Otherness and can't help but speak out against them. This does not mean, I would add, that I am "offended" by this thread--it is very difficult indeed to offend me as a direct result of people attempting to.

This thread reminds me of gym locker room conversations when I was back in high school and the jocks would tell racist Mexican jokes. When I called them on it, I got told the exact same thing as here. Predictable, really. That I have no sense of humor. Then when I fired back with my sense of humor, often someone else (much like you, Samuel) would then call me weird or an a-hole or whatever. If you would like a real example of this if you don't take my word for it, go and check out this website: http://www.mexicanjokes.net. You will note that on the top of this website it clearly states, "Not racist, just funny!" --because just falling back on a bare assertion fallacy makes everything okay right?

Look, I fully support the right for you guys to have your little misogynist, bro-high-fiving thread. Tell all the "funny jokes" you want. But I am also entitled to voice my opinions of them, i.e. that they are sexist and generally not funny. It's not like you guys are being avant-garde and/or challenging social conventions in a positive or ironic way like say Lenny Bruce, Chris Rock, David Cross, and Joe Rogan do (I am a fan of all of those guys btw). It's canned jokes cut and pasted from emails, as David admitted earlier. And by the way, I found the joke that I contributed by Googling "bad jokes" and cut and pasting it from some bad joke website.

I guess this is the part where you either double-down on calling me a troll and/or pour on the insults and ad hom fallacies, if this predictable trend continues.

"We now return you to our regularly scheduled program..."

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 03:27:32 MST Print View

Cesar
"As a minority myself"
I lived in 4 different countries and worked/socialised with all sorts of people, and I mean races,nationalities,religions,sexual preferences and so on, yes even with the Irish.
Inevitably the ones I did not get along with are the ones that make a big deal out of nothing...
Believe me every person in this planet is a "minority" somewhere .
Now put up that "minority" flag and wave it about and you are just inviting criticism and making your life more difficult than it needs to be.
How about you start seeing yourself just like everyone else ?

BTW, there is a difference between telling a joke and living that joke, pity you can't see that.

As I mentioned before, the best Jewish jokes (making fun of the stereotypical Jewish characters) are told by Jews.
No they are not being racist, just having a good laugh at themselves.
Not long ago in fact I posted here some comments from one Terence Milligan (Spike) that some thought were offensive towards the Irish and they were..except that they don't come any more Irish than Spike.

Have a laugh at yourself too , it's not going to kill you, in fact you may just live longer by doing so.

Franco
Land Rights For Gay Whales

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 03:43:14 MST Print View

Cesar,
Just in case you still have no idea of what I am talking about...
have a look at some of the Daffyd Thomas (Matt Lucas) sketches in Little Britain.

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 04:34:02 MST Print View

"I lived in 4 different countries and worked/socialised with all sorts of people, and I mean races,nationalities,religions,sexual preferences and so on, yes even with the Irish."

...Good for you, I guess?

"Inevitably the ones I did not get along with are the ones that make a big deal out of nothing..."

Because open discourse and posting a difference of opinions on a forum is a big deal. A very. Big. Deal.

"Believe me every person in this planet is a "minority" somewhere."

And believe me when I tell you that pointing out the obvious is obvious. Not that this point is relevant, seeing as this forum is comprised mostly--correct me if I am wrong--of Western white males.

"Now put up that "minority" flag and wave it about and you are just inviting criticism and making your life more difficult than it needs to be."

All I did was mention how I could relate this thread to past experiences, and this is flag waving? Talk about making a big deal out of nothing. Pot meet kettle. And I fail to see how my life is more difficult. Again, this is just words man. On an obscure backpacking website.

"How about you start seeing yourself just like everyone else ?"

How and when did I state that I was not like everyone else? I only spoke for myself and my experiences. My existence has certain unique details that influence my perception, as does all individuals. To deny this and try and appeal to some BS "we are all one" type essence is just silly. I would encourage you to stop speaking in tired platitudes and actually address the issues raised. Or crack more bad jokes.

"BTW, there is a difference between telling a joke and living that joke, pity you can't see that."

Thank you for your insight and your pity. I will do my best to try and ruminate on such sage advice, though as you have pointed out, I can't see it just yet, but I am trying. Perhaps you can elaborate further on exactly how it is that one differentiates between telling and living a joke?

"As I mentioned before, the best Jewish jokes (making fun of the stereotypical Jewish characters) are told by Jews.
No they are not being racist, just having a good laugh at themselves."

First of all, the majority of the jokes cracked in this thread are by men about women. Next, it's all about context, isn't it? You would have to give us a specific example rather than make broad generalizations about the entirety of Jewish jokes told by Jews. I would imagine some are challenging stereotypes by being ironic, while others are perpetuating them. And by the way, just because someone from a particular minority group is okay with potentially racist/sexist/bigoted jokes does not make it alright, as I have already pointed out. There are documented cases of Jewish anti-semites, for example: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/csanad-szegedi-jewish_n_1776617.html

I was not okay with Carlos Mencia cracking racist jokes against his own ethnicity and others, for example Asians. Not to mention that he was not really breaking new ground with his comedy, and that I just didn't find his jokes funny.

"Not long ago in fact I posted here some comments from one Terence Milligan (Spike) that some thought were offensive towards the Irish and they were..except that they don't come any more Irish than Spike."

I have already explained that I am not offended by this thread, for one. Next, it is again about context, and if the jokes are actually funny or not.

"Have a laugh at yourself too , it's not going to kill you, in fact you may just live longer by doing so."

How exactly have you determined that I don't have laughs at myself? You don't know me or have ever met me as far as I can tell. As to living longer, science has already debunked that whole positive thinking BS. I recommend you read a book called "Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America" along with many other studies that have evidence to suggest that being grumpy may contribute to living longer, for example: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1224701/Forgas-Grumpy-good--scientists-bad-moods-improve-memory.html#axzz2KmIACtFY

and another example: http://www.livelongerpost.com/grumpy-people-live-longer-since-they-are-more-apt-to-cope-with-crisis-research-says/

Have a nice day :)

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 04:39:55 MST Print View

"Cesar,
Just in case you still have no idea of what I am talking about...
have a look at some of the Daffyd Thomas (Matt Lucas) sketches in Little Britain."

No thank you. I have seen the show and didn't like it or think it was funny. And no, I was not offended by it either. Also, what does this example have to do with the content of this thread, specifically?

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Lartnec Nagihcim
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 04:54:26 MST Print View

Hey Franco, leave us Irish and the gay whales out of it ;-)

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 05:16:46 MST Print View

So a gay Irish whale walks into a bar...






(hey, we can type "gay" now without the filter blocking it. The whales will be so happy!)

Edited by T.L. on 02/13/2013 05:40:02 MST.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 06:24:07 MST Print View

It's Chaff. Wear you thick skin as anything goes.

"Unrelated to any of the forums above. No rules regarding the topic. Opinions, politics, the benefits of heavy gear, you name it. Please, no commercial posts, and NO SPAM. Courtesy is monitored in the other forums. In this one, you may need some thick skin to play with the big dogs."

This was a fun thread until someone had to go and ruin it.

It's just a forum on a website, relax. I get this told to me over and over.

What does a Jewish wife do with her asshole in the morning?

Send him to work!

Told to me by a Jewish judge.

Edited by kthompson on 02/13/2013 06:25:39 MST.

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 07:23:01 MST Print View

"This was a fun thread until someone had to go and ruin it."

http://youtu.be/ijZRCIrTgQc

Daryl Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Nice Song and Video on 02/13/2013 08:15:57 MST Print View

Cesar.

I liked the song and video. Very moving.

Daryl

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Nice Song and Video on 02/13/2013 09:20:01 MST Print View

This one is better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2UhvN0k74w

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Happily married men? on 02/13/2013 12:41:30 MST Print View

Just wondering, all joking aside, how many of you men (or women) participating on this thread are actually in a happy committed relationship (OK, call it 'married' if you like)? And if so, what is it about your partner that keeps you happy? Is it because they allow you to drink, have a man-cave, control the telly, shop-til-you-drop, sit and be a blob, cook great meals?? Or is it something else? Just asking. And if you are in an unhappy relationship, what are the aspects of that relationship that don't live up to your expectations?

Cesar is entitled to his opinions, and is entitled to voice them here. He has a good point, which is why I added that it doesn't have to be 'husband and wide' jokes. The half-time joke would have been just as funny (and gross) if told with a gay perspective, or a hetero couple who are not married. The Jewish joke could have been just as funny as "What does a Jewish woman (instead of wife) do with her asshole in the morning? Send him to work!". Admittedly, this leaves you wondering if it was her father, husband or son she sent to work, but it still work works just fine without hammering the institution of marriage (which I happen to think is an outdated institution, but that's beside the point). However, it is still sexist. But on Chaff, anything goes, even racist and sexist comments...

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Happily married men? on 02/13/2013 13:10:09 MST Print View

"The half-time joke would have been just as funny (and gross) if told with a gay perspective, or a hetero couple who are not married."

I actually take it as more of a 'getting older' joke and you are absolutely correct, the humour is not because they are married - one could substitute any type of relationship in there.

What is it about my partner that makes me happy? I hate to be cliche, but everything. And she has been making me happy for 20 years just because of the way she is, not because of what I want her to be. We have a great relationship that is based on a committed approach to supporting each other in our own endeavors. For sake of example, I dropped her off at the airport this morning for a trip to a fitness conference (in a MUCH warmer clime, I must add) for the next 5 days for both a work and relaxation commitment with several others. I now will take care of our children, take them to school, drive around to their activities, volunteer at the Provincial Dive Competition of which my son will compete, etc, and try to run my business on the side. And in April, she will return the favour as I venture into the wilds for a week. Works well plus I get to spend more time with the kiddies.

Seriously - I could not be happier.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Happily married men? on 02/13/2013 13:20:41 MST Print View

I'm happily married.

What keeps me happy? Knowing that we married each other for exactly who we were and allowing each other to be the person we want to be. We do what we want knowing that all decisions, both individual and as a couple, will be respectful to the relationship. We don't have to bend to the other's view of ourselves.

If I want a beer, I have a beer. If she wants a beer, she'll have a beer.
If I want to buy a shirt, I'll buy a shirt. if she wants to buy a shirt, she'll buy a shirt.
If I want to fart, I'll fart (and then get laughed at and jokingly yelled at). If she wants to fart, she'll fart (and I'll laugh at her and jokingly yell at her.)
If I want to be a blob, I'll be a blob, but feel slightly bad because my wife never sits and is a blob. But she doesn't make me feel bad about it. I just do because she's a very hard worker and that motivates me to be the same.

And so on.

I've been married 1.5 years, and dated her for 5 before that. In all that time, I can count on one hand the "fights" we've had, and the hard feelings never lasted more than a few hours. Why? Because everything is always on the table. (And neither of us are assholes).


Case in point (true story):

"Hey, do you mind if I go hang out with the guys at the bar tonight?"
"Excuse me? Don't ever ask me that again."
"Um, what?"
"Don't ever feel that you need to ask permission to see your friends. They're your friends and they mean a lot to you."
"I just didn't want to leave you home alone tonight."
"I'm fully capable of being alone. I got stuff to do anyways. Go and have fun, but be safe."
"Sweet!"




BTW, she thinks all the jokes on this thread are funny and doesn't feel at all insulted. Sees the forest for the trees.

spelt !
(spelt) - F

Locale: Midwest
Seriously, then on 02/13/2013 13:23:01 MST Print View

As the OP, what did you even find funny about the joke? It doesn't reflect your life. I would bet it doesn't reflect the lives of most happy people, married or not. Without believing in the gender stereotypes that supposedly make it funny...it really isn't much of a joke.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Seriously, then on 02/13/2013 13:40:30 MST Print View

I like fart jokes.

Now piss off. This is Chaff.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Seriously, then on 02/13/2013 13:50:05 MST Print View

tyuoi

spelt !
(spelt) - F

Locale: Midwest
Re: Re: Seriously, then on 02/13/2013 13:55:58 MST Print View

I thought anything goes in chaff? It was just a question. Lighten up.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Seriously, then on 02/13/2013 14:45:37 MST Print View

"As the OP, what did you even find funny about the joke? It doesn't reflect your life. I would bet it doesn't reflect the lives of most happy people, married or not. Without believing in the gender stereotypes that supposedly make it funny...it really isn't much of a joke."

I found the joke to be funny too. But I also am aware of minimising sexist language. And I am also aware that there are MANY couples who are not in happy relationships, and to me the joke kinda glorifies these people. The use of "wife" and "husband" is still sometimes the best way to personify a bad relationship, which I find sad. But I never-the-less take is intended...a joke.

And, um, passing wind is a competition in our household too. As is belching. I always win the belching, my partner always wins the farting. So we are always 'even' and thus domestic bliss is ensured. Bring on the farting and belching jokes I say.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 15:16:36 MST Print View

So these two black Irish Jew unmarried gay whales walk into a bar.
The first one ducks



Disclaimer
No ducks were injured during the writing of this joke.
(verified by Peta, a friend of my wife)

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Lartnec Nagihcim
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 15:26:20 MST Print View

Sounds like my cousins Franco :-)

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Someone's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 15:40:06 MST Print View

Once upon a time, one person asked another person 'Will you commit to a long term relationship with me?'

The second person said,'NO!'

And the the first person lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and expensive scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever the person wanted.

And the second person shopped for shoes, had coffee with their friends or chatted for ages with them on the phone, drank white wine, cooked lots of low fat vegetarian dishes, always had the toilet seat down and walked around in their bathrobe whenever they wanted.

The End

You see, it just doesn't have the same ring to it!

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Whales on 02/13/2013 16:11:37 MST Print View

This is ridiculous and outrageous!


Whales can't walk... At least the Mormon ones can't.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Whales on 02/13/2013 17:08:13 MST Print View

Agree with Travis, but for different reasons: The Jews do not recognise same-sex whale relationships.

Edited by retropump on 02/13/2013 17:40:35 MST.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 17:26:57 MST Print View

Little Britain :
"I have seen the show and didn't like it or think it was funny"
No surprise there...
I used the Daffyd sketch because the running joke there is that Daffyd Thomas (the character) is not in fact gay however the writer and actor playing the part,Matt Lucas, is.
The point is that Daffyd wants to be noticed so he plays the victimised gay part when in fact in the village nobody cares if he is gay or not.
So Matt Lucas is having a go at attention seeking "victims"...
Here is Daffyd :
Daffyd

Lynn, I am now confused.
Do I keep the whale steaks in the meat or the dairy fridge ?
(I am not Japanese, if this helps)
Do guys in NZ still remain awake at night thinking of those cute jumping sheep?

Edited by Franco on 02/13/2013 17:33:03 MST.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Someone's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 17:45:58 MST Print View

Okay okay. I've got one....

A gay boy scout and an embargoed cuban walk into a bar. They're arguing about, of all things, whether to use pertex or diluted silicone as a hair gel. They decide to bet on which one will cure fastest, and ask the bartender (a very, very happy woman who's partner, a woman who can out-belch the best of them, is at home relaxing) if she'll officiate.

She agrees, but first she must go to the bathroom, which is a simple hole in the floor and the bar's not even in Spain! She scribbles a Clymb invite on the wall before returning to the bar.

As the gay boy scout and embargoed cuban prepare to do battle, an old man at the end of bar, holding a dog-eared copy of Ayn Rand, strokes his silver beard and says: Jokes are like penises. Sometimes they're quite useful. Sometimes they're kinda funny. And sometimes they're just a pain in the ass. It's all about perspective.

Edited by idester on 02/13/2013 17:46:58 MST.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 17:54:39 MST Print View

"Lynn, I am now confused.
Do I keep the whale steaks in the meat or the dairy fridge ?
(I am not Japanese, if this helps)"

It depends on if the meat is from a male or female, and their respective sexual orientations. It would be bad practice to keep, e.g. a heterosexual male whale in the same fridge as a homosexual male whale. In that case, you should keep one in the dairy fridge, the other in the meat fridge.

"Do guys in NZ still remain awake at night thinking of those cute jumping sheep?"

Yeah, a ewe is a man's best friend. It allows him to eat, drink and watch TV to his hearts content without complaint, and never gets pregnant or spends his money or gives him STDs. Also the young ones are nice as a roast.

Edited by retropump on 02/13/2013 17:56:13 MST.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Re: Whales on 02/13/2013 18:00:14 MST Print View

"Agree with Travis, but for different reasons: The Jews do not recognise same-sex whale relationships."

True. But Jews won't stone gay whales either. Takes way too many stones...

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Re: Whales on 02/13/2013 19:46:34 MST Print View

>But Jews won't stone gay whales either.

Ah, used to be that way. Reports from Ireland suggest that there have been some stoned whales. The problem is they get lazy, do nothing but snack on junk food, and have bloodshot eyes. Their mating songs start sounding like Cheech Marin serenading a plate of brownies after a full Cheech and Chong film.

I also heard that the Boys Scout embargo of Cuba has gotten support from the Pope. Damn whales.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Re: Re: Whales on 02/13/2013 19:50:11 MST Print View

"I also heard that the Boys Scout embargo of Cuba has gotten support from the Pope. "

Hey, the Boy Scouts don't just embargo ANYBODY, they're a discriminating bunch.....

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's furry tail on 02/13/2013 20:55:03 MST Print View

Thanks Lynn.
Nice to know that some things never change.
I might just have to come back now.

Miguel Arboleda
(butuki) - MLife

Locale: Kanto Plain, Japan
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 21:46:26 MST Print View

Just came back to this thread after a long absence. Wow! What a range of thoughts and emotions it's put me through. In that way very interesting thread.

Some thoughts.

Joking is really hard to get right for everyone. Especially across cultures.

Part of what I think joking does is alleviate the pain of unhappiness that people go through. Like Lynn said, there are a lot of unhappy relationships. What's kind of paradoxical is that having Lynn ask whether people are in happy or unhappy relationships is not going to get an even response here. Of course the ones in happy relationships are going to reply... they have nothing to lose. But the ones in unhappy relationships are not going to say anything, in part because it will spoil the mood of this thread. I was struck by the sheer silence of those in unhappy relationships. I will say this... I am in an unhappy relationship. I love her very deeply... but she is a serious bipolar alcoholic with an awful childhood. Can anyone say anything funny about that? (actually a bit of laughter would be a big stress reliever! (^ J ^)/" ). My point is that there is a lot of history behind all the members' BPL personas that the rest of us don't know. That affects how we react to what is written here. Do I feel sorry for myself? No.

Cesar has some very good points. I respect him a lot for being courageous enough to withstand the backlash and say what he believes, publicly, without making excuses or making it easier for himself. I've been through a lot of what he talks about as a Mexican (Black/ Filipino/ German growing up in Japan where foreigners are still very much lambasted and discriminated against everyday). When you've been ridiculed by a bigger group most of your life there just comes a point when you say, "Enough is enough!", and the stereotypes just don't seem funny anymore. But at the same time... how in the world can you make ANY jokes without conjuring up the typologies? That's what joking is all about!

Franco... about 99.9% of Japanese have never eaten whale in their life, most have never seen whale meat, and many completely disagree with whale hunting. Another media inflated stereotype. Most Japanese very much object to, in their perception, westerners telling everyone else what is right and wrong, especially since for Japanese it is hard to compete in having their opinion heard if most of what is in the media is in English, and very few people understand Japanese (and VERY few western journalists can properly speak Japanese). So much misunderstanding comes out what western journalists interpret about what Japanese think, rather than having the Japanese express their own opinions themselves. Most Japanese are not the monsters that the media portrays them as.

Lynn, I think I'm in love with you! (no, I know I don't have a chance in whale's frog eating orgy!) Not only do you have a way of saying everything right, but you and your partner love belching and farting! My kind of way of laughing and having fun!

Anyone else notice that the word "gay" slipped past everyone's filters? Penis, too. Do we now have revolution at BPL.com?

And a parting gift, about partnership that is well orchestrated:

wife and husband

A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George .
Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.

"But we didn't use them," the husband said.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed topay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for only $50.00."

"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with senior citizens..... They didn't get there by being stupid.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 22:20:56 MST Print View

Miguel

"about 99.9% of Japanese have never eaten whale in their life"
Yes Miguel , I watch world news . It just happens that Al Jazeera did a report on whale hunting and all of that only a few days ago.
My comment "I am not Japanese" is an obvious joke only to anyone that reads my name .

Miguel Arboleda
(butuki) - MLife

Locale: Kanto Plain, Japan
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 22:54:18 MST Print View

My comment "I am not Japanese" is an obvious joke only to anyone that reads my name .

Franco, yes, I got that. And know that you weren't condemning all Japanese. I just wanted to get the record straight about the whole whale-hunting scandal. I've spoken with too many people who went on unbelievable diatribes about Japanese and whaling, but who had never once spoken to or met a Japanese. I'm sure you've had more dealings with Japanese than most people.

ANYWAY, enough of my serious talk! (I'm too tired from crazy work hours right now to get a joke out right now, but I do appreciate them!)

Roger Caffin
(rcaffin) - BPL Staff - MLife

Locale: Wollemi & Kosciusko NPs, Europe
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/13/2013 23:31:42 MST Print View

> "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Perfect!

Cheers

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
ten fairy males on 02/14/2013 00:43:42 MST Print View

Miguel.
I think that I would like to be in Japan.
Sun,rum,reggae ,cricket and whale meat. What's not to like?
Anyway what part of the whale do you prefer ?

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 03:56:03 MST Print View

"I used the Daffyd sketch because the running joke there is that Daffyd Thomas (the character) is not in fact gay however the writer and actor playing the part,Matt Lucas, is.
The point is that Daffyd wants to be noticed so he plays the victimised gay part when in fact in the village nobody cares if he is gay or not.
So Matt Lucas is having a go at attention seeking "victims"..."

Ah ha. I see what you did there. You are indirectly implying that it is I who is an attention seeking psuedo-victim. You would think that I would look to forums and mediums where I would get more attention, rather than the website of some sub-type of a relatively less popular hobby. And you would think I would resort to tried and true tactics of attention getting, like immature name calling, all-caps stomping of the feet, funny and insulting GIFs and pictures, etc. I did none of that. I did not know that using logic and posting links to scientific studies is being an attention whore. I think if you go back and re-read (or read properly for the first time) my posts, it's pretty clear I am not looking for attention or that I am setting myself up as a victim. But, as with calling someone a "troll" (in spite of me not hiding my identity), writing off someone that challenges your assumptions as an attention seeking victim is an easy and effective thing to do. Much easier than say, actually addressing my posts and the points raised and discussed. But for anyone paying attention your evasion and ad homs are apparent. But remember: it was you that came at me guns a blazing.

As for the TV show in question, I guess it never occured to you that one could not like the show or find it funny for reasons other than the controversial gender play it explores. For example, the jokes are predictable and pretty much repackaged old gags directed at the hoi polloi. I even gave the show a chance too, and watched several episodes. But the sketches, most of them are one-trick ponies. The adult rich man that still breast feeds, the gag is the same every time--he is going to shock people around him by breast feeding. The guy in the wheelchair is always going to get up and walk around when his caretaker is not looking. Wash, rinse, repeat, etc.

I think sketch comedy shows like Monty Python are funny, and they cover all sorts of controversial and potentially "offensive" topics. To a lesser extent, Kids in the Hall too. The Buddy Cole character by comedian Scott Thompson I think is far funnier than the one you bring to the table, not to mention much more successful as a social commentary/critique on both the heteronomrative western society and on the alpha-gay males of the homosexual male sub-culture. Not to mention that Buddy Cole is a dynamic character that is put in lots of different situations and sketches.


Also, side note: thanks for those of you that got something out of my contributions to this thread, and for your kind words and encouragement. :)

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 06:38:29 MST Print View

Two guys walk into a bar. They notice a gay whale, Miguel and Cesar at a table. The two guys turn around a and leave quietly.

Miguel Arboleda
(butuki) - MLife

Locale: Kanto Plain, Japan
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 10:57:45 MST Print View

Ken, I tried, honest, but I don't get it. Are you saying that the guys don't like gay whale meat, or that they couldn't handle Miguel's awful sounding attempts at engaging Cesar in speaking Spanish? Or was it the table?

Daniel Goldenberg
(dag4643) - M

Locale: Pacific Northwet
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 11:30:07 MST Print View

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.

Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!

Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 12:08:02 MST Print View

>Are you saying that the guys don't like gay whale meat, or that they couldn't handle Miguel's awful sounding attempts at engaging Cesar in speaking Spanish? Or was it the table?


Trick question! It was the Cuban Boy Scouts sitting behind them.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 13:59:57 MST Print View

"Two guys walk into a bar. They notice a gay whale, Miguel and Cesar at a table. The two guys turn around a and leave quietly."

"Ken, I tried, honest, but I don't get it."

Miguel, I thought you had a much keener mind than that. Sigh. Allow me to elucidate:

The two men were out sailing one day with their wives. A huge storm hit unexpectedly and their boat was capsized. One of the men lost his sight in the incident. The men made it to a small island, where the one with sight had to sadly break the news to the other that their wives, unfortunately, were killed when the boat sank and they were washed out to sea.

There wasn't much on the island, but the men survived by eating whale meat. The blinded man vowed to never forget the smell, it was horrible. After some time they are rescued. Shortly after that, the blinded man gets his sight restored. They go to a bar to celebrate being back home and alive. As they walk into the bar, the man who was blinded sees the whale, and realizes it smells nothing like what he was eating on the island. He realizes that his friend had actually been feeding him their dead wives, not whale, and he is overcome with grief so they turn around and leave quietly. Ken skipped the part where he later shoots his friend, then himself.

The whale being gay had nothing to do with it....

samuel smillie
(sam_smillie) - F

Locale: central canada
re cesar on 02/14/2013 14:00:13 MST Print View

Hey Cesar, I'm sorry I spelt your name wrong. My bad.

I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling. I didn't mean to suggest you are literally a cave dwelling troll. I was instead trying to lightheartedly point out that your original post was kind of tread derailing and likely to cause argument and controversy, something commonly referred to as trolling. I totally respect your opinion and I think most if not all of the members at bpl are pretty aware that the world can be a mean place with discrimination of all types abound. There are so many problems with this world, it can be depressing at times. When it comes to hard times in my life I follow the mantra of 'if you can't laugh you've got to cry' and I try to choose the former whenever possible.

Obviously you are trying to bring about discussion around issues of discrimination based on gender, ethnicity, etc. Those are good discussions to have. Perhaps just in another thread. People are generally pretty happy to discuss controversial topics on this forum as seen in the BSA policy thread running strong right now. Maybe you can start a new thread and post a link here for people who want to continue the conversation. I suspect most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message.

Given that today is valentines day (er I mean thursday), I would like to share what I love about my girlfriend Katherine. She is a beautiful, smart and kind human being who loves me for who I am. She makes me feel comfortable and happy in her presence. When I am doing something that she doesn't like, she tells me which means I don't end up hurting her feelings or making her upset accidentally (ie no drama). We have similar interests such as eating (lol), internet shopping, science and good television. It may take her all night to finish a glass of wine (Asian alcohol genes) but I still love her. Tomorrow we will have been going out for 7 months!

As for a relationship joke>

A farmer walks into a bar and orders a glass of champaign,
Beside him a tall and beautiful blonde is sitting.
She too is drinking champaign and notes the farmers drink order
with a cheers to 'what a coincidence'
Her and the farmer clink glasses and she asks the farmer why he's drinking champaign.
The farmer says 'well today I'm celebrating'
The blonde replies 'what a coincidence, I too am celebrating'
She asks the farmer why he is celebrating to which he replies
'My hens weren't laying eggs for weeks and they've finally started to lay eggs again'
The blonde exclaims 'what a coincidence,
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for weeks and I've just found out I'm pregnant!'
The farmer congratulates her and takes a drink from his glass.
The blonde asks the farmer, 'so what did you do to get your hens to start laying eggs?'
The farmer says 'I used a new cock'
The blonde takes a drink and replies, 'what a coincidence'

Note: the fetus' were harmed in the making of this joke, the expecting mother was drink non-alcoholic champaign ;)

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:08:52 MST Print View

"Hey Cesar, I'm sorry I spelt your name wrong. My bad."

No worries. Thanks for that.

"I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling."

I was not offended, but thanks for that anyhow.

"I didn't mean to suggest you are literally a cave dwelling troll. I was instead trying to lightheartedly point out that your original post was kind of tread derailing and likely to cause argument and controversy, something commonly referred to as trolling. I totally respect your opinion and I think most if not all of the members at bpl are pretty aware that the world can be a mean place with discrimination of all types abound. There are so many problems with this world, it can be depressing at times. When it comes to hard times in my life I follow the mantra of 'if you can't laugh you've got to cry' and I try to choose the former whenever possible. "

I respectfully disagree that my post was derailing and meant to cause argument and controversy. My intentions I think were quite clear, which is to offer an alternative perspective on the stereotype jokes going around, and I was not rude or provocative.

Thanks for your reflections on life and hard times and such, but I believe me I am not crying over this thread--quite the opposite actually.

"Obviously you are trying to bring about discussion around issues of discrimination based on gender, ethnicity, etc. Those are good discussions to have. Perhaps just in another thread. "

I respectfully disagree. I think that this is exactly the place to have this kind of discussion, where it is immediately relevant. Not to mention that this is chaff and there are no rules as far as how to conduct discussions. And consider the potential pitfalls of just starting a separate thread on gender stereotypes. For one, it may get ignored by the very people that an alternative opinion challenges. Next, as this thread demonstrates, there is hostility towards dissenting opinions. By creating a whole separate thread on the issue, some may spin it as an even bigger play at being an "attention whore" or "victim" etc.

"People are generally pretty happy to discuss controversial topics on this forum as seen in the BSA policy thread running strong right now. Maybe you can start a new thread and post a link here for people who want to continue the conversation. I suspect most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message. "

I honestly don't care. If you really want to escape the baggage of real life, take your bro high-five lame sexist jokes into a private setting, not a public one. I see little difference in a lot of these jokes at the expensive of women than jokes at the expense of minorities, be them ethnic or sub-cultural or whatever. Just like you have the right to go to a pub and crack say, racist jokes using the n-word (and I fully support this right), I and anyone else has the right to call you on it there and then if one feels so inclined.

"Given that today is valentines day..."

Congrats to you and yours, hope you had a nice day, and I am glad that you are with someone that you are happy with.

My wife and I don't celebrate valentines day because we find it meaningless--it's just a marketing ploy to guilt couples into buying crap they don't need, not to mention make lonely people feel even more alienated. To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:23:25 MST Print View

Does anyone have any "white guy" jokes? I'm serious. I want to look at the humorous side of my whiteness, cause I know there's some funny crap about us.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:25:22 MST Print View

"White guy" jokes? Google 'redneck jokes'. Some are actually quite funny. Don't forget to click the "image" tab too. :)

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:25:45 MST Print View

"Does anyone have any "white guy" jokes? I'm serious. I want to look at the humorous side of my whiteness, cause I know there's some funny crap about us."

Two guys walk into a bar. They notice Dave Lutz, Travis and Doug at a table. The two guys turn around and leave quietly.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Cesar on 02/14/2013 15:32:04 MST Print View

Isn't it Norway that has a troll problem? I saw the movie. They seem problematic.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:33:18 MST Print View

My wife and I don't celebrate valentines day because we find it meaningless--it's just a marketing ploy to guilt couples into buying crap they don't need, not to mention make lonely people feel even more alienated. To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."
-----------

+100

(though I personally wouldn't say meaningless, it is an over-commercialized circus)

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 15:43:42 MST Print View

.

Edited by T.L. on 02/14/2013 15:44:25 MST.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: re cesar on 02/14/2013 16:01:37 MST Print View

"To quote her, "Couples ought to be extra nice to each other more than once a year."

Does this include random farting?

On a more serious note, what is the baseline for being simply nice v.s. being extra nice.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 16:15:08 MST Print View

According to Google Stats, Extra Nice is 32.75% nicer than nice but 97% fart free.
not many people know that.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 16:19:27 MST Print View

Interesting Franco. So then one could surmise that Valentine's Day presents less effect to the Ozone Layer than any other day during the year. Not only that, there are more people smiling on that day. Ergo, we need to start farting less and smiling more. At minimum 32.75%.

I need to confirm this over on the Carbon Flame thread. Be back shortly.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 02/14/2013 17:44:04 MST Print View

"On a more serious note, what is the baseline for being simply nice v.s. being extra nice."

Being extra nice just means doing something nice that is unexpected and you don't do every day, especially if it is unexpected (so not a birthday, Christmas, valentine's, etc.... This will be different for every couple on the planet. Just make sure it is at least 33.75% nicer than usual, and you should be fine.

samuel smillie
(sam_smillie) - F

Locale: central canada
Cesar on 02/14/2013 17:57:17 MST Print View

"I am also sorry you were offended when I accused you of trolling." -> I was not offended, but thanks for that anyhow.

Your welcome. I did forget that your were not easily offended. I also think what I was trying to say was, I'm sorry you twisted my accusation of you trolling (a verb) into the idea that I called you a troll (a noun) in an effort to dismiss your opinion and make you an 'Other.' That's where accusations of 'playing the victim card' come from.

In fact, by trying to label me as a name caller, I almost feel like my opinion is being dismissed and silenced. Don't worry I'm not offended though.

It was also interesting that I had to spell out the meaning of trolling for you to stop 'evading' my 'points' so to speak.

It was even more interesting that you deny your post was 'meant to cause argument and controversy,' given that when I suggested you start a new thread as I felt that 'most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message.' You say this is a bad idea because 'it may get ignored by the very people that an alternative opinion challenges.'

So let me get this straight, it's important for you to voice your alternative opinion to people it will challenge, but you did not mean to cause argument or controversy? Oh also I forgot that I accused you of being rude, funny I don't remember that. Another attempt to dismiss my opinion no doubt.

Your ignorance of hypocrisy and trolling aside, what is it your are hoping to accomplish with your posts? You clearly recognize the importance of a captive audience --> 'I think that this is exactly the place to have this kind of discussion, where it is immediately relevant.' So what is the message? Is it simply that:

You don't think jokes based on stereotypes are funny?
You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive (but not to you)?
You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive but you respect our right to make them so long as you can voice your dissenting opinion?
You hope your dissenting opinion will encourage others to not make stereotypical or offensive jokes?

What would be a perfect world?

One where no stereotypical jokes were ever told?
One where we stopped making them after your first post?
One where you convinced us not to make them through several compelling posts illustrating our moral depravity?
One where opinions such as your swelled to such a critical mass that we all felt jokes that were at the expense of someone else were inappropriate?

What defines an appropriate joke vs and inappropriate joke? Or funny vs unfunny joke?

Forget about jokes, what about everyday sayings? For instance, I'm having a conversation with a group of people about relationships and the importance of our significant other's and in response to someone's anecdote I reply 'happy wife, happy life.' Is that sexist? Was the woman at the table who accused me of being sexist right? (true story) If I had said 'happy partner, happy life' would that have made it an appropriate catch phrase?

What kind of discussion will satisfy you Cesar? When will you get what you need out of this thread to satisfy yourself and wander off to share your holier than though rhetoric elsewhere? Are stereotypical jokes even worthy of your efforts? Surely there are bigger fish for you to fry.

Michael L
(mpl_35) - MLife

Locale: The Palouse
Re: Cesar on 02/14/2013 18:04:05 MST Print View

I guess I wasn't sexist till I got married and realized all the stereotypes about women were true.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Pizza. on 02/14/2013 18:07:13 MST Print View

Just wanted to say that I like pizza.

Ryan Smith
(ViolentGreen) - M

Locale: Southeast
Re: Re: Cesar on 02/14/2013 19:02:41 MST Print View

LOL.

+1 Michael L.

Ryan

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Farting on 02/14/2013 19:10:30 MST Print View

OK you jokesters, is this a joke or not (from today's NZ local media)? Either way it's pretty funny!

In-flight flatulence is ok

Passengers have been cleared to fart on flights, at least by scientists.

On balance researchers say it's better to let it out than to hold it in.

The scientists say in-flight flatulence could be combated with stench-stifling charcoal seats or undies.

But curbing the foul fug doesn't end with charcoal, they also reckon trousers and blankets could benefit from odour-neutralising technology, and go so far as to recommend the ''extreme'' measure of fitting passengers with rubber pants - replete with vapour-collecting air bag.

The team of British and Danish gastroenterologists published the study ''Flatulence on airplanes: just let it go'' in the New Zealand Medical Journal today.

Other ''politically incorrect'' solutions included barring the fart-prone from flying or tampering with the fibre content of airline food to ''reduce its flatulent potential.''

The piece also provides some ripe ammunition in the battle of the sexes - the researchers found there was no evidence suggesting men let rip more than women.

However, they do cite studies showing women's ''flatulence odour is significantly worse compared to that of men".

The banning of smoking on commercial flights had boosted ''the risk of nasally detecting even small amounts of intestinal gases'' in modern cabins where roughly 50 per cent of air is reticulated and improvements in sound-proofing meant passengers were more likely to be able to hear the sulphurous rumblings of others.

Researchers even drew a distinction between the proverbial loud-but-proud and silent-but-violent, defined as "sneaking a fart" versus a "loud fart- where a large amount of intestinal gas is passed through the anus in a short period of time.''

Overall they concluded, despite the social costs of public flatus, letting it out was better than holding it in.

Restraining gas lead to a raft of ''significant drawbacks'' including discomfort, pain, bloating, indigestion, stress and heartburn.

Trapping could also be problematic for those afflicted with fart incontinence or those that had fallen asleep, leaving both groups open to the embarrassment of involuntary farts triggered by turbulence, coughing and sneezing.

Although scientifically preferred liberating wind was not without its pitfalls.

''Obviously proximity to other passengers may cause conflict and stigmatisation of the flatulating individual.''

Farting also presented a soiling hazard, which ''may require damage control in the airplane toilet".

Stinkiness could also affect the cabin crew's quality of life but more importantly could cause turbulence in the cockpit.

''The pilots may encounter the opposite of a win/win situation. On one hand, if the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including diminished concentration, may affect his abilities to control the airplane.

"On the other hand, if he lets go of the fart his copilot may be affected by its odour, which again reduces safety on-board the flight.''

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Farting on 02/14/2013 19:17:30 MST Print View

Free at last, free at last, thank spaghetti monster almighty, free to fart at last!

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Re: Farting on 02/14/2013 19:22:22 MST Print View

Just tell your girlfriend/wife/partner that it's allowed on airplanes, so it should be fine to do at home too!

spelt !
(spelt) - F

Locale: Midwest
Re: Farting on 02/14/2013 19:41:38 MST Print View

"go so far as to recommend the ''extreme'' measure of fitting passengers with rubber pants - replete with vapour-collecting air bag. "

I can't decide if this wins over the study where they proposed fitting sheep with fart-capturing devices to collect the methane (oops should this be in the Carbon Flame War thread?) or not. I'll call it a draw. Maybe if someone did a feasibility study they'd find the US could meet our natural gas needs from passenger fart collection and they could stop fracking the Marcellus shale. Airplane flights could become carbon neutral. Particularly flatulent passengers could receive rebates at the end of the flight for gas collected in excess of the value of their ticket. The sky's the limit.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
"Men's fiery trail" on 02/14/2013 19:43:20 MST Print View

Lynn
I'll pass on that one...

Anyway here is a possibly politically correct version of the farty tail :

Once upon a time, a person asked another person 'Will you engage in an unspecified situation with me?'

The second person said something

And the first person lived somehow after that and did something and something else and something else a lot and drank something and something else (but more expensive) and had copious amounts of money in the bank (in a non interest returning account) and left the toilet seat up and farted *at will .

The End / Beginning (cross/star of David off the unwanted one)




*Sorry I had to leave that in because it doesn't sound all that funny without it.

Edited by Franco on 02/14/2013 20:04:27 MST.

samuel smillie
(sam_smillie) - F

Locale: central canada
re sheep gas capture on 02/14/2013 19:52:45 MST Print View

I recall reading an article about a company whose business model centred around shooting kangaroos with a high powered rifle from a helicopter in the outback to collect carbon credits due to the high greenhouse gas emissions of said animals. No joke

spelt !
(spelt) - F

Locale: Midwest
Re: re sheep gas capture on 02/14/2013 19:58:14 MST Print View

"I recall reading an article about a company whose business model centred around shooting kangaroos with a high powered rifle from a helicopter in the outback to collect carbon credits due to the high greenhouse gas emissions of said animals. No joke"

Absurdities associated with creating markets for ecosystem services: exhibit A

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
What I've learned from this thread on 02/14/2013 20:16:49 MST Print View

I've learned that I have more things in common with some of you than I realized.


God help my soul.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: "Men's fiery trail" on 02/14/2013 20:20:42 MST Print View

Is it just me and my drinking habits or are there some seriously talented people on this forum.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: "Men's fiery trail" on 02/14/2013 20:38:20 MST Print View

Either we have the same drinking habits or there actually are some very talented people. Either way, I'm currently indulging in an oatmeal milk stout.

Nick Gatel
(ngatel) - MLife

Locale: Southern California
Re: Happily married men? on 02/14/2013 21:56:08 MST Print View

“Just wondering, all joking aside, how many of you men (or women) participating on this thread are actually in a happy committed relationship (OK, call it 'married' if you like)? And if so, what is it about your partner that keeps you happy? Is it because they allow you to drink, have a man-cave, control the telly, shop-til-you-drop, sit and be a blob, cook great meals?? Or is it something else?”
----------------------------

Okay, I’ll share.

My wife is my best friend. I love her for her virtues. My love is the payment, so to speak, for the enjoyment I get from her impeccable character.

My wife cannot become upset because of what someone says or does. Only she can make herself upset – and she chooses not to be upset.

My wife has experienced the sadness of the loss of loved ones -- probably more than most people her age have suffered; but she focuses on the life they lived and who they were. She remembers the life lived; not the life lost.

My wife is always happy. So happy in fact, that she makes everyone around her happy. For example, I went to our new dentist a few weeks after she went. When the receptionist saw my name, she asked if I was related to Joyce. When I said I was her husband, she called everyone in the office to come out front and meet me. My wife had made that much of an impact on the entire staff during her visit. And this happens at supermarkets, department stores, etc. I have gotten to the point where I shop with cash, because everyone wants to congratulate me for being married to such a wonderful person when they see my name on a credit card.

My wife knows that life is going to throw bad things and obstacles in her path; and knowing that, when bad things happen, she picks herself up and keeps on going.

My wife roots for the underdog. She does not feel sorry for them. She has empathy. She motivates them by trying to be a good example and an inspiration.

My wife does not expect anyone to respect her. She earns respect by who she is and what she does. Sometimes she has to work harder and longer than others to get equal treatment – she knows it isn't fair -- but sometimes that is life. She is thankful that she has the opportunity to prove her worth. She knows that in any situation eventually people will judge her for who she is. So in essence, she demands respect by her character and virtues.

My wife is happy to go camping on our anniversary, even though she would rather go on a cruise.

My wife will let me go backpacking by myself anytime I want, but I prefer to spend most weekends with her.

My wife would not complain if I drank beer, farted, and watched football all weekend. But she knows I wouldn’t because it would be disrespectful; and I would rather do things with her anyway. I never leave the toilet seat up. She never told me to leave it down.

My wife likes Valentine’s Day. I think it is a commercial thing to sell stuff to the public. I buy her Valentine’s gifts because I love her.

My wife and I don’t always agree on politics. We respect each other’s opinion. We enjoy debating it.

Reader's Digest used to have a monthly article called, My Most Unforgettable Character. Don't know if they still do publish that each month, but many people would tell you my wife this that person. I am the lucky one who got to marry her.

My wife doesn't tell jokes that make fun of others. She once told me a joke about a turtle and a scorpion. It was more of a story with a moral. She doesn't tell jokes because she is happy with who she is; she doesn't need to artificially make herself happy at someone else's expense.

I don't tell jokes any more. My wife taught me how to be happy.

My wife has made me a better person, because of who she is.

Lastly, my wife is hot :)

Nick Gatel
(ngatel) - MLife

Locale: Southern California
Socrates and the Joke on 02/14/2013 22:02:41 MST Print View

One day the great philosopher Socrates came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you want to hear a joke?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you tell me the joke let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter -- the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

Michael L
(mpl_35) - MLife

Locale: The Palouse
Socrates on 02/14/2013 22:11:52 MST Print View

"We'll Socrates, I'm going to tell you a JOKE because its funny. So stop being an ass."

Edited by mpl_35 on 02/14/2013 22:12:24 MST.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Happily married man (???) on 02/14/2013 22:20:37 MST Print View

"Lastly, my wife is hot "

Six Hundred and twenty two words of praise only to tell us that you are too cheap to buy a decent air conditioning system ?

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Socrates and the Joke on 02/14/2013 22:46:12 MST Print View

Nick, you missed the entire punch line to that joke:

"This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out his best friend was screwing his wife."

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Hey Socrates on 02/14/2013 22:54:02 MST Print View

Let me get you a drink.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Re: Hey Socrates on 02/14/2013 23:05:33 MST Print View

Drinks?Ggg

Edited by T.L. on 02/14/2013 23:06:24 MST.

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
"soccer tales" on 02/14/2013 23:29:22 MST Print View

"It also explains why he never found out his best friend was screwing his wife"
Not many people know this but eventually he did.
His comment was "with friends like that who needs enemas?"

(I had to look this up because I thought Socrates was the name of the Greek Football Federation)

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Myths on 02/14/2013 23:38:38 MST Print View

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago".

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really, " he said, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait."Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."

Edited by FamilyGuy on 02/14/2013 23:44:55 MST.

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Cesar on 02/15/2013 02:06:13 MST Print View

"I also think what I was trying to say was, I'm sorry you twisted my accusation of you trolling (a verb) into the idea that I called you a troll (a noun) in an effort to dismiss your opinion and make you an 'Other.' That's where accusations of 'playing the victim card' come from. "

I didn't twist anything, and your efforts here try and shift the focus on nuances of grammar speak volumes of you trying to justify calling me a troll. I stand by my point that this was just to discredit me and make me an Other, and the accusations of playing the victim card are clearly unfounded for reasons I have already elaborated on previously.

"In fact, by trying to label me as a name caller, I almost feel like my opinion is being dismissed and silenced. Don't worry I'm not offended though. "

All you are doing here is taking a valid point of mine and equivocate for your own purposes of knocking over a strawman. First of all, you did call me a troll, which I hope we can agree is a negative term, i.e. name calling (and one that ought not apply to me, as I am not hiding behind anonymity, nor have I resorted to immature tactics that internet trolls are famous for) . Then when I point out the name calling, I obviously hit a nerve, because now look at what you have resorted to. By me pointing out that you called me a troll in no way dismisses your opinion or silences you, it is what it is, which I have already elaborated on.

"It was even more interesting that you deny your post was 'meant to cause argument and controversy,' given that when I suggested you start a new thread as I felt that 'most of what is or you perceive to be negative responses to your posts here are more related to the way you barged into a joke thread bearing the baggage of real life, rather than your actual message.' You say this is a bad idea because 'it may get ignored by the very people that an alternative opinion challenges.'

So let me get this straight, it's important for you to voice your alternative opinion to people it will challenge, but you did not mean to cause argument or controversy?"

You are being either willfully obtuse here, or don't understand the difference between an argument and say, a discussion and/or a debate. Controversy is entirely subjective, so I will skip that, but you do realize that there is a difference between having an honest, open discourse of ideas vs. exchanging angry, insulting posts at each other? Challenging people's perceptions and assumptions does not equal causing arguments and controversy, of course. You're reaching, much like with the whole troll vs. name calling thing, and again it is quite telling.

"Oh also I forgot that I accused you of being rude, funny I don't remember that. Another attempt to dismiss my opinion no doubt. "

This is a false charge. Please tell me exactly where I claim that you accuse me of being rude. More reaching. And simply by repeating this whole "dismiss my opinion" nonsense will not make it true. I think I have made it abundantly clear that I am not dismissing anyone's opinion here--to the contrary, I have given full and detailed rebuttals to anyone that has taken issue with my posts, much like I am doing right now.

"Your ignorance of hypocrisy and trolling aside, what is it your are hoping to accomplish with your posts?"

An ad hominem, and two more false charges. I have already been very clear about my intentions and will not repeat them.

"You clearly recognize the importance of a captive audience --> 'I think that this is exactly the place to have this kind of discussion, where it is immediately relevant.' So what is the message? Is it simply that:

You don't think jokes based on stereotypes are funny?"

No, I never said that. Please read my posts more carefully.

"You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive (but not to you)?"

Again, another mischaracterization. It's about context. My own tolerance of offensive stereotypes (and "offensive" things in general) does not mean that others may be offended or that stereotypes are not accurate reflections of reality, i.e. not all women like shopping and are burdens to men.

"You think jokes based on stereotypes are not funny and are offensive but you respect our right to make them so long as you can voice your dissenting opinion?"

Try again. Having a complex opinion on a complex topic I know can be difficult for some to grasp, but I think if you pay attention to my posts you can do a better job of characterizing my stances on the matter at hand.

"You hope your dissenting opinion will encourage others to not make stereotypical or offensive jokes?"

Obviously not all others. Again: context. Professional comedians (whose political and social views they often make known to the public, it would add) making sophisticated jokes/satire and observations about society that include things like stereotypes that result in challenging the stereotypes themselves is one thing. I have already given several examples of comedians in my posts. Logging onto a backpacking site and finding strangers cracking canned (merits reminder: literally cut and pasted) jokes is another thing altogether. I cannot assume the intentions of the strangers making the jokes because I don't know them nor are they public figures that have made their views known. In contrast, David Cross for example is a leftist comedian that often uses irony to make his points and facilitate his satire. He has used the n-word and the f-word, but it is obvious he is neither racist nor homophobic.

"What would be a perfect world?"

I never aspired to suggest either this question or an answer to it.

"One where no stereotypical jokes were ever told?"

See: above.

"One where we stopped making them after your first post?"

See: above.

"One where you convinced us not to make them through several compelling posts illustrating our moral depravity?"

You're trying to smuggle another mischaracterization here and I of course can't let you get away with that. I never suggested anyone was morally depraved.

"One where opinions such as your swelled to such a critical mass that we all felt jokes that were at the expense of someone else were inappropriate? "

See: above.

"What defines an appropriate joke vs and inappropriate joke? Or funny vs unfunny joke?"

Correct me if I am wrong but I don't think I ever said anything about appropriate vs. inappropriate. Funny vs. unfunny of course is subjective and also depends on context. We would need a specific example to make a determination.

"Forget about jokes, what about everyday sayings? For instance, I'm having a conversation with a group of people about relationships and the importance of our significant other's and in response to someone's anecdote I reply 'happy wife, happy life.' Is that sexist? Was the woman at the table who accused me of being sexist right? (true story) If I had said 'happy partner, happy life' would that have made it an appropriate catch phrase?"

It depends. I was not there so I can't judge, and even if I was there, I don't know you or the people in the group, so I still would not know. Personally, if I heard a group of strangers talking, and one of them said "happy wife, happy life" I wouldn't say anything because I don't know the full context. If it was someone I was friends with and they said it, perhaps I'd ask them what they mean by it, give them a chance to explain. Many of my friends have dark and ironic senses of humor, and among ourselves we will crack jokes that to an outsider might sound as though we were being sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. These conversations are private, for one, and two they rely on context. For example when my radical feminist friends (I have many, for the record) say things like, "But what do I know? I should be in the kitchen cooking." the joke is of course the irony--they don't actually believe in gender roles, nor do I.

"What kind of discussion will satisfy you Cesar?"

Ah ha. You got all existential on me. Dang. I don't know man. What kind of gear list will satisfy you?

"When will you get what you need out of this thread to satisfy yourself and wander off to share your holier than though rhetoric elsewhere?"

Oh, so because I bother to question lame, sexist jokes--I am holier than thou? What a low bar for such a title, and odd for a person that has explicitly stated that they support the right and encourage free speech and dialog.

"Are stereotypical jokes even worthy of your efforts? Surely there are bigger fish for you to fry."

This is an actual good question. Sometimes one feels the need to take a stand, for whatever reason. Obviously I felt the need to focus some of my efforts here, which is fine by me or otherwise I wouldn't have bothered.

But it comes down to this. I really enjoy backpacking and going down the UL path has really made my life happier and better overall. When I log on and check up on cool gear and interesting tips and information, it makes me happy. To have this experience interrupted by lame, sexist jokes was disappointing, so I wanted to try and contribute a semblance of balance to this thread for anyone else that might be on the fence about things or agree with my alternative take on things. And I in the end I am happy I did. I have made people reconsider things, I would hope, and if anything I have been thanked by a few people who are glad I spoke up.

I think as has been said before, the phrase "enough is enough" is apt. If I had it my way, I'd have liked to not see such thread here on BPL. Then again, if I had it my way, I'd have a grand log cabin deep in the woods and mountains of Spain on a huge and pristine piece of land, and with 10 million Euros in the bank. Of course I will not get either wish and I am well aware of that. But I can still do my best. I can contribute to threads I wish had not have interrupted my happy UL daydreaming and get a nice little mental work out of it when I can. And I can continue to take yearly vacations to Spain and take amazing SUL overnight trips.

Maybe one day, there will be less lame, sexist jokes on BPL--or at least others will speak up besides me. And maybe one day, I really will have my own little cottage in Spain--or at least take more vacations there when I am retired.

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Hey Buzzkill on 02/15/2013 06:31:31 MST Print View

If you don't want to see these types of threads on BPL, some tips.

Don't read them once you see where they are going.

Don't reply. You just add fuel.

I am glad you are not in charge.

....and your posts are too long. Think short attention span. Or lack of interest in your opinions. Why the hell should I care what some dude half a world away thinks anyway. Egomaniac!

Too harsh? It's chaff. Whatever,

Had a simple thread going telling tired jokes to one another. Big effin deal. Get over it already.

Who else has a bad sexist joke?

Don't forget all stereotypes are based in fact.

Start your own thread for your next lecture.

I never said I was a nice person. Don't be shocked by my response. I of course hope you pay no attention to what I just said.


A bonde and a brunette both fall off a cliff.

Who hits the ground first? The brunette, The blonde had to stop for directions.

Carry on.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: Happily married men? on 02/15/2013 07:46:03 MST Print View

"Just wondering, all joking aside, how many of you men (or women) participating on this thread are actually in a happy committed relationship (OK, call it 'married' if you like)? "

Well, unfortunately, my current significant other is one of my own body parts. But I am pretty committed. The happiness, though, is rather fleeting.....

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Hey Buzzkill on 02/15/2013 07:57:36 MST Print View

I'm still trying to find out where the sexist and stereotype commentary was first presented in the original post. Frankly, I think it gives hope to those in unhappy relationships. And of course those with consistent flatulence.

As Lynn showed earlier, one could have easily reversed the genders and it would have been equally funny. Well, at least for some.

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Re: Hey Buzzkill on 02/15/2013 07:58:28 MST Print View

"I am glad you are not in charge."

That makes two of us.

"....and your posts are too long."

I know, right?

"Think short attention span. Or lack of interest in your opinions."

In fairness, I did post a very short reply to you before with a link to a music video. You can handle that, right? Go watch the video again, perhaps it will make you feel better. Also, I don't need Ken's seal of approval to post. If you lack interest in my opinions I suggest you ignore them. I find yours rather fascinating.

"Why the hell should I care what some dude half a world away thinks anyway."

You shouldn't, obviously.

"Egomaniac!"

Says the man that just threw a tantrum, but you're the boss. Did you have any other insults you wanted to get off your chest, or was this it?

"Too harsh? It's chaff. Whatever,"

You will have to take my word for it that this is far from what I think "too harsh" is as far as written communiques go. You do visit other forum websites, don't you?

"Had a simple thread going telling tired jokes to one another. Big effin deal. Get over it already."

It must have been a big effin deal to you, Ken. Look at how you are reacting. And I fail to see what it is that I am supposed to "get over" anyhow. I put in my 2 cents, which I am entitled to do. You and some others didn't like that and came at me, then I defended myself. And...?

"Start your own thread for your next lecture."

No thank you.

"I never said I was a nice person."

I never asked, nor do I care.

"Don't be shocked by my response."

If there is anything that I am not, it is shocked by your response. Don't flatter yourself.

"I of course hope you pay no attention to what I just said."

Then why did you bother addressing it to me? How odd.

Don't you find my posts funny? Where is your sense of humor? :)

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
@Dave on 02/15/2013 08:07:21 MST Print View

"I'm still trying to find out where the sexist and stereotype commentary was first presented in the original post."

I already discussed this, don't you remember? You quoted me and then said I had no sense of humor, which you later retracted.

The point is, you can marry a woman and still continue to do whatever it is you want to do. Suggesting that women are these burdens that hold back men is sexist. If you are in a relationship, and your partner male or female, does not want you to do something, news flash: you don't need anyone's permission to do anything (within reason, of course, which everything presented in the OP joke was).

If you want to fart, fart. If you want to go backpacking, go backpacking. If your partner has a problem with it, either you can work it out with them, make a compromise, or if it is really important to you end the relationship. Women are not this horrible anchors that drag men down.

Ike Jutkowitz
(Ike) - M

Locale: Central Michigan
re: Fairy tales on 02/15/2013 08:27:24 MST Print View

To me, this thread was not poking fun at women, but rather at the institution of marriage. Given that more than 1 in 2 marriages fail, if we can't laugh at that, what can we laugh at...


A man was feeling ill and his wife takes him to the doctor. After extensive testing, the doctor takes his wife aside and tells her,
"Your husband has a dangerous obstruction, and if you don't give him sex every day, he's going to die"

"What did he say?" the husband asked when she came back into the room.

"He said you're going to die.."

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: re: Fairy tales on 02/15/2013 08:38:20 MST Print View

"A man was feeling ill and his wife takes him to the doctor. After extensive testing, the doctor takes his wife aside and tells her,"Your husband has a dangerous obstruction, and if you don't give him sex every day, he's going to die""

Just as funny with role reversal!


A woman was feeling ill so her husband takes her to the doctor. After extensive testing, the doctor takes her husband aside and tells him, "Your wife has a dangerous obstruction, and if you don't give her sex every day, she's going to die."

"What did he say?" the wife asked when he came back into the room.

"He said you're going to live..."

Well, almost as funny.....

Edited by idester on 02/15/2013 08:38:54 MST.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: @Cesar on 02/15/2013 08:49:07 MST Print View

"You quoted me and then said I had no sense of humor, which you later retracted."

Do you know why I retracted? Because I honestly thought that you were trying to be funny. Sincerely. I guess I was wrong.

"The point is, you can marry a woman and still continue to do whatever it is you want to do...If you are in a relationship, and your partner male or female, does not want you to do something, news flash: you don't need anyone's permission to do anything (within reason, of course, which everything presented in the OP joke was)...Women are not this horrible anchors that drag men down."

But that is entirely the point of the joke. You CAN do whatever you want and those that find the joke funny understand that this exactly the case. Someone who is in a truly unhappy marriage or relationship would not find the joke funny, likely because they have been in a constrained relationship in the past. Instead, they may find it truthful (from their perspective).

But it is hardly sexist. As Lynn pointed out, you could put any gender in there. Or leave the gender's blank and the result would be the same. Or change the activities constrained. Same thing.

You really don't have a sense of humour.

Dr. Phil

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: re: Fairy tales on 02/15/2013 08:50:23 MST Print View

"Just as funny with role reversal!"

That's not funny, you sexist bastard.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: @Dave on 02/15/2013 08:51:03 MST Print View

What if the OP was a true story?

I would argue that at some point in history, there was a rejected marriage proposal, and the happy life the rejectee lived had nothing to do with not being married to the rejector.

In fact, it could be a shining beacon of hope for all of those people living in the dark place called a bad marriage.

Surely those people who have overbearing, controlling, and manipulative spouses can look upon this story and find their inner strength so that they can stand up to the tyranny and cast off the dark shroud of their oppressors; much like our founding fathers did when they penned the great Declaration of Independence. For too long have they lived in silence! They will rise up and bask in the glory of their God given right to live a happy and free life! VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!





























I really should stop drinking in the morning...

Cesar Valdez
(PrimeZombie) - F

Locale: Scandinavia
Re: Re: @Cesar on 02/15/2013 08:56:59 MST Print View

"But it is hardly sexist. As Lynn pointed out, you could put any gender in there. Or leave the gender's blank and the result would be the same. Or change the activities constrained. Same thing."

But it wasn't any gender that was there, now was it? It was a woman. And the majority of the jokes in this thread are about women, most of them made by men. It is not the same thing.

"You really don't have a sense of humour. "

I am fine with that :)

Though I must admit I thought that my post directed at you was funny (and so did you, temporarily). At least I wrote it myself.

Lyan Jordan
(redmonk)

Locale: Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem
Men's Fairy Tale on 02/15/2013 09:28:19 MST Print View

I can only imagine the pain of not having a sense of humor.

It's a rare condition, but Cesar should be applauded for defending their right to be offended after taking a literal interpretation of humor, and refusing to let it go after having it explained to them.


Women love my company. Well they did. Haven't had a steady relationship since I sold it.

Dave U
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Rockies
Re: Re: Re: @Cesar on 02/15/2013 09:33:51 MST Print View

"But it wasn't any gender that was there, now was it? It was a woman. And the majority of the jokes in this thread are about women, most of them made by men. It is not the same thing."

I suspect that is understandable because I am a man.

"Though I must admit I thought that my post directed at you was funny (and so did you, temporarily). At least I wrote it myself."

I knew it.

Diplomatic Mike
(MikefaeDundee)

Locale: Under a bush in Scotland
Sexist on 02/15/2013 09:40:07 MST Print View

Is the, "Why do women have smaller feet than men?", joke sexist?

Ken Thompson
(kthompson) - MLife
Re: Hey Buzzkill on 02/15/2013 12:46:48 MST Print View

I mentioned no names.

my description fits more than one

Edited by kthompson on 02/15/2013 12:48:03 MST.

Dave Satterberg
(onthecouchagain) - MLife

Locale: Sunny SO-CAL
now that's why I paid for MLIFE membership on 02/28/2013 22:48:20 MST Print View

Well done one and all...we humans really take ourselves seriously don't we? At any rate, that was a fun- albeit sometimes not fun, post to read through---and I have absolutely nothing more to say on the matter.

Edited by onthecouchagain on 02/28/2013 22:54:27 MST.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: now that's why I paid for MLIFE membership on 02/28/2013 23:19:15 MST Print View

Welcome back, Dave. I missed your eternal running box guy.

Dave Satterberg
(onthecouchagain) - MLife

Locale: Sunny SO-CAL
Hey Travis on 02/28/2013 23:38:13 MST Print View

OK...just for you...I guess I have one more thing to say on the matter (and give you another eternal running box guy...pretty cool when they stack up and you've had red wine....a lot of red wine)


here goes:

After reading through the posts..."Does this post make my butt look fat?"

Edited by onthecouchagain on 02/28/2013 23:41:26 MST.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: Hey Travis on 02/28/2013 23:47:50 MST Print View

No, Dave. Your butt makes your butt look fat.


:D




And substitue red wine for beer, and I'm right there with ya.




(P.S. your "butt" comment is vaguely familiar, but I can't place it. If I've missed something, lemme know!)

Edited by T.L. on 02/28/2013 23:53:57 MST.

Daryl Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Married With Children on 03/01/2013 08:35:10 MST Print View

The tv series "Married With Children" was one long joke about the trials and tribulations of married life.

It was over the top but funny and appealed to a large audience.

Aren't the jokes included in this post cut from the same cloth?

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Married With Children on 03/01/2013 08:49:53 MST Print View

Daryl:

Russia had its own version of 'Married with Children' TV sitcom -- Russian actors and all -- but resembled their American counterparts very closely. The plots were also practically the same. Hilarious! The trials and tribulations of married, with children are truly universal. :)

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 03/01/2013 15:04:05 MST Print View

Been Too Wordy
"Hilarious!"
So you ,as a single man, sit back and snigger ?
Get married and see how you like it !!!
Ah , the HORROR, the HORROR!!!
BTW, Ben, when I met my wife I was a strong ,tall ,blond , blue eyed young man.
look at me now.
I am an old decrepit decaying man that needs trekking poles to walk.
That's what marriage does to you.

Edited by Franco on 03/01/2013 22:57:44 MST.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Re: Married With Children on 03/03/2013 13:04:23 MST Print View

Well, if you are gong to bring children into the picture, that is a whole 'nother kettle of fish. Married with children is quite different to just married. Children impinge on the lifestyle of both parents much more than just being committed to one person.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 03/03/2013 13:17:26 MST Print View

"BTW, Ben, when I met my wife I was a strong ,tall ,blond , blue eyed young man.
look at me now.
I am an old decrepit decaying man that needs trekking poles to walk.
That's what marriage does to you."


It's why back in the '80s when friends left and right fell into the marriage trap -- I steadfastly adhered to Nancy Reagan's advice: JUST SAY NO! And I have remained ever so blissfully single. Love is beautiful indeed.

I am sorry that you are now bitter and twisted, like so many here and elsewhere. :)

Roger Caffin
(rcaffin) - BPL Staff - MLife

Locale: Wollemi & Kosciusko NPs, Europe
Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 03/03/2013 15:45:07 MST Print View

> I am an old decrepit decaying man that needs trekking poles to walk.
> That's what marriage does to you.

I guess your wife cooks your meals, washes your clothing, cleans your house, and generally looks after you as well - now that you are decrepit?

Mine does all of that, plus she takes me walking so I stay fit.

Cheers

Franco Darioli
(Franco) - M

Locale: Melbourne
Men's Fairy Tale on 03/03/2013 15:52:55 MST Print View

I guess your wife cooks your meals, washes your clothing, cleans your house, and generally looks after you as well - now that you are decrepit?
Now , I do that and that is why I am old and decrepit.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: on 03/03/2013 16:00:38 MST Print View

Perhaps Mrs. Caffin and Mrs. Darioli should take tea together sometime?

leon lynes
(mrgadget921) - F - M

Locale: south west
Re: Re: Men's Fairy Tale on 03/26/2013 19:45:00 MDT Print View

ok that is just wrong on so many levels! as I roll on the floor!!!