Thanks for all of your thoughts. This is extremely helpful (especially the saved $/oz idea)
This could be a lot easier:
First of all, it seems to me Backpackinglight could inject some major value into their paid membership by setting up a simple comparison website; keep an internal form of all tents interesting to the site, solicit prices, weights, volumes and features from the manufacturers (or community), and setup an interface for members to compare tents side-by-side, or search by features. This isn't anything Web 2.0... just basic check boxes and drop-down menus. That would have saved me hours of time combing websites. (This could be expanded to other products as well, one at a time)
The upkeep could be mitigated by allowing paid members to adjust values, wiki-style.
Yes, Zpacks is the cuben bathtub, for BearPaw tubs I only accounted for the silnylon versions primarily because I knew it was already looking expensive, and I didn't want to add more cuben to the price. I could go through and put those in, but that will just make it busier.
Bagged vs unbagged tents:
I wish manufacturers would make it clear which weight they're reporting.
Supermid interest over Duomid:
I read enough comments that the Duomid is slightly small for 2 people (especially once I put some sort of bathtub or inner), plus the $1100 cuben supermid would have given enough space for more people / dogs / kids as needed, and it's winter adaptable, for a still really low weight--very attractive. But that is a LOT of money that I don't have. Hence, agreement with the comments to buy what I can actually afford.
The Haven still looks pretty nice to me, but yes, the extra luxury described with the very affordable Rainshadow 2 is worth considering. Time to take it to the wife's aesthetics.