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Ode to the Carbon Flame War
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Craig W.
(xnomanx) - F - M
Ode to the Carbon Flame War on 09/19/2012 17:40:12 MDT Print View

Like a rock,
ever present, unmoving
there for me during bored and solitary lunch breaks
and insomniac weeknight internet wanderings.
Like mountain rivers
that bring peace when I consider that they are simply there,
flowing, with or without me,
the Flame War carries on, shrouded in mystery,
to what end I will never know.
Your multicolor graphs baffle me,
dazzling statistics, studies, sources, and accusations...
tempting me with the siren song of some promised understanding.
It is not that I am unable to decipher the messages
contained within-
it's that I don't WANT to decipher them.
I must admit, I am afraid of you.
Afraid that if I read any further
I'm going to HAVE to look up
"Surface based indices from GISS and HADcru"
just so I don't feel like a chump.
But in the process
I'll neglect cooking dinner
brushing teeth
and putting the children to bed on time
and feel like a chump anyway.

Terry Trimble
(socal-nomad) - F

Locale: North San Diego county
Ode to the Carbon Flame War on 09/21/2012 10:40:39 MDT Print View

Perfection in word craft. Bravo! Bravo!

This War even though no lives have been lost except brian power and time has lasted almost or more years than the great wars of the USA .

Longer than the war of 1812,Mexican American war, Now for the bloodiest wars of all time in the history of the world: American Civil war, and World War 1.

But I fear this war will go on and on to be the biggest war in history and will make the history books someday on the toll it takes on the participants minds. When the war ends the participants I fear will suffer from PTCFWS aka:Post Traumatic Carbon Flame War Syndrome

Edited by socal-nomad on 09/21/2012 10:44:01 MDT.

Diplomatic Mike

Locale: Under a bush in Scotland
Truth on 09/21/2012 11:01:45 MDT Print View

Superbly written Craig, but who is correct? :-)

Edited by MikefaeDundee on 09/21/2012 11:02:51 MDT.

Dave -
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Up there
Re: Truth on 09/21/2012 11:59:57 MDT Print View

Brilliant Prose!

I nominate Craig for President.

Diplomatic Mike

Locale: Under a bush in Scotland
President? on 09/21/2012 12:04:55 MDT Print View

How about El Duce?

Dave -
(FamilyGuy) - F

Locale: Up there
Re: President? on 09/21/2012 12:13:57 MDT Print View

Yes, Indeed.

With Craig as President of BPL, maybe we can get some things done around here.

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Mind your own business
Re: Re: President? on 09/21/2012 12:21:00 MDT Print View

He is just what the Doctor ordered.

Diplomatic Mike

Locale: Under a bush in Scotland
Attention. on 09/21/2012 12:45:29 MDT Print View

At least the trains will run on time. ;-)

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Mind your own business
Re: Attention. on 09/21/2012 13:19:57 MDT Print View

That they would Mike!

Craig W.
(xnomanx) - F - M
President? on 09/21/2012 21:11:01 MDT Print View

You make me blush.

As president of BPL, first thing I promise to do is get the gear shop back open and stock it with six packs of "Carbon Flame" IPA (in Heineken keg sized aluminum cans with PREFORMED ridges, of course).

Edited by xnomanx on 09/21/2012 21:12:03 MDT.

Rog Tallbloke
(tallbloke) - F

Re: President? on 09/23/2012 07:58:22 MDT Print View

Lolz, good one Craig.

I have half a dozen Heineken kegs in stock. Should keep me in U/L kelly kettles for a while yet. Here's another nice skit on climate science, about Michael Mann and his 'tree ring thermometers'. Sung to the tune of 'Modern Major General' from the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta 'HMS Pinafore'.

I am the very model of a modern climatologist
I’m partly statistician, partly paleo-phrenologist
I’ve temperature readings from thermometers coniferous
my data are the same (or not, well, maybe) as Keith Briffa has
I bought them from a bloke who brought them hotfoot from Siberia
and mixed them with some algae from the mud in Lake Superior.
When counting different isotopes I’m really in my element
and sucking up to journalists from Guardian Environment
I know what makes the tree-rings from Siberia to the Rockies tick
And I can make spaghetti and transform it to a hockey stick.
My data’s got dark matter that would shatter a cosmologist
I am the very model of a modern climatologist

Terry Trimble
(socal-nomad) - F

Locale: North San Diego county
Great lyrics!!! ROFLOL!!! on 09/23/2012 11:11:25 MDT Print View

ROTFLOL !! Catchy lyrics and funny too! I can see it now the Carbon flame war guys singing this is they post.

Rog Tallbloke
(tallbloke) - F

Re: Great lyrics!!! ROFLOL!!! on 09/23/2012 11:57:58 MDT Print View


Watch this rendition of Monty Python's Universe Song and then read my cameo sketch and extra verse below

[Oval Office door opens]
Obama: Ah, Chu.
Chu: Bless you. Sorry I’m late.
Obama: All this global warming talk is having a negative effect on the markets.
Have you seen the Hang Seng?
Chu: He got snowed in at a coal plant and couldn’t make the meeting.
Browner: Too bad, we need his opinion on how to regulate the evil gas.
Obama: Try 'eating more Greens.
Browner: Well, we thawed them out but I doubt they’ll be protesting again soon.
Obama: Where’s the Governator?
Chu: In 'Frisco paddling his new Kayak.
Obama: Off the 'Bay?
Chu: No, it was a present from the Goracle.
Obama: Coracle? I thought you said he got a Kayak.
Browner: Isn’t it windy?
Chu: No, it’s thursday.
Obama: So am I, let’s order coffee.
Kofi Annan: Hey! I’m just here to hold the piece, not to take orders.
Guard: Put the gun down and step away from the window.
Annan: I was just watching the snowflakes, we don’t get snow where I live.
Chu: [Imitating G. W. Bush drawl] Say, where is Nigeriania anyway?
Annan: It’s in Africa.
Obama: So the gun’s for tiger hunting?
Michael Palin: [Crawling out from under table] A tiger? in Africa??
All: What are you doing here?
Palin: Collecting material for a new Monty Python series.
Browner: I liked the ‘Dead Parrot’ sketch.
Obama: Speaking of which, what happened to global warming Al?
Chu: Yeah, it’s freezing. I caught a nasty cold [Sneezes violently]
Browner: Bless you. Yeah Al, what’s gone wrong with your Carbon Cred scheme?
Gore: Well, I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
[A black robed figure leaps from the closet]
John Cleese: No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[Palin and Cleese sing to the tune of 'The Galaxy Song']

Well the planet’s getting hot, it’s Co2! or maybe not
It’s got the hacks and greens in such a spin
We’re taxed into the ground, for driving cars around
And flying down to Rio’s mortal sin.
But don’t panic just yet, keep your cool and hedge your bet
The temperature is dropping every day
The ocean cooling down will stop the gulf stream going round
And the glacier from the north is on it’s way.

Lynn Tramper
(retropump) - F

Locale: The Antipodes of La Coruna
Re: Ode to the Carbon Flame War on 09/24/2012 17:26:48 MDT Print View

Craig, that is the most beautiful thing to come out of the carbon flame war. Thank you

Rog Tallbloke
(tallbloke) - F

Re: Ode to the Carbon Flame War on 10/21/2012 10:46:07 MDT Print View

Woe is me
I no longer see
The flame war so long
It seems it has gone