Forum Index » GEAR » Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear?


Display Avatars Sort By:
Logan Spader
(___o2) - F

Locale: .
Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:00:39 MDT Print View

I noticed another member just posted about getting married so this thread will be helping more than just me! Anyways, maybe this is the wrong place to ask this question since all of you are gear addicts like me but do you guys think it is rude to register at an outdoor gear store for your wedding? Specifically REI.

My fiance and I already registered at two boring stores for vacuums, blenders, silverware etc and she wanted me to have a little fun so she said we could register at REI. Is this ok? I mean, isn't gift registry meant for household items and not for fun things? I ask because both our parents said it was a bad idea.

We are not registering for clothes, jackets, or anything like that. More just car camping and climbing gear like foldable chairs, new headlamps, a tent, *cough* PMI half ropes *cough*, bike rack, platy bottles, a new backpack for the fiance, etc. What do you guys think? Is it rude or a good idea?

Link .
(annapurna) - MLife
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:04:18 MDT Print View

I think it's fine,I have had several friends register with REI and I have always purchased my gift there over the more traditional stores on the list.

Dale Wambaugh
(dwambaugh) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:10:59 MDT Print View

If you want hiking gear rather than crockery, go for it! For those who hike on a regular basis, it *is* a household item. If they love you, they understand your passion. I would happily buy my kids stuff at REI if they registered there. I'd get the dividends too :D

The most used items we got for wedding gifts were a fry pan, a box fan, and a small step ladder. They were given rather tongue in cheek, but they were 100% practical. The rest of the stuff is pretty and gathers dust in the china cabinet. In a world with dwindling resources, what makes sense?

And it is *your* wedding.

Kier Selinsky
(Kieran) - F

Locale: Seattle, WA
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:13:01 MDT Print View

Not rude at all. The wedding gifts are meant to help you get on with a happily married life. Gearing up for 2 is, last I checked, twice as expensive as gearing up for one. Ergo, if outdoors you want to be, happily geared and married you should be. :)

Jon Leibowitz
(jleeb) - F - MLife

Locale: 4Corners
No on 04/09/2012 10:22:15 MDT Print View

Not only is not rude, it is actually awesome.

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:47:14 MDT Print View

I agree with your parents. (Sorry). To me wedding gifts are for your the new home and life you and your wife are about to make together not stocking up for hobbies/fun. Some people might not want to buy you camping gear but at the same time might feel like by not buying you camping/fun/hobby gear they are getting you a boring gift compared to what others might be getting you.

Also there is the feeling that camping/climbing/any hobby might be a fad versus drinking coffee and vacuuming never go out of style.

You will probably get a bunch of money/cash which you can spend on camping gear if you want.

Edited by TylerD on 04/09/2012 10:51:50 MDT.

Timothy Huguenin
(timhuguenin) - F
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 10:55:10 MDT Print View

I'd say that hiking/backpacking IS a part of life...and backpacking equipment is a part of what are household items for people like us.

Paul Johnson
(johncooper) - F

Locale: SoCal
Guest Perspective on 04/09/2012 11:03:16 MDT Print View

Think of this from the perpective of your guests. A registry is a tool to assist them in gift giving. Offering an option will not offend reasonable people. I recommend you register for gifts the two of you will use and enjoy. I recommend you NOT register for items you won't use. Guests with traditional values will be comfortable and familiar with traditional gifts ( ie. No Cuben from them :-( ) Try to offer them options that you like/need and they will enjoy giving.

Of note, my nephew has recently registered for his wedding. His bride to be and him did not register for china, silverware or crystal.

Note 2: I was with a friend this past weekend who is lightly involved in backpacking, although a circle of his friends are in the industry. Many years ago he married and his backpacking friends gave backpacking gifts. He spoke glowingly of enjoying these gifts with his wife. I think any wedding guest would be pleased their gift was being enjoyed twenty years later.

Diana Nevins
(artemis) - MLife

Locale: Great Plains
Modern Weddings on 04/09/2012 11:10:16 MDT Print View

I think John Cooper nailed it. People know that young couples today often have been living on their own for a while before getting married and therefore have less need of the "traditional" wedding gifts such as china and linens, and they want to give a gift that will actually be appreciated. As long as you don't register ONLY at REI but include some more traditional department stores as well, list items in a wide range of prices at each place you register, and list items you'd actually find useful to receive, I think your wedding guests will be happy.

William Brown
(MatthewBrown) - F

Locale: Blue Ridge Mtns
Wedding on 04/09/2012 11:12:45 MDT Print View

I personally would not put "hobby" gifts on a wedding registry. I have never looked at a backpacking item as a life investment. There will always be a lighter, techier, flavor-of-the-month item to come along. So in my opinion gifts such as; ropes, tents, and headlamps, do not match the occasion.

A wedding conveys life long commitment, love, long suffering, joy, sacrifice, timelessness. Dinnerware, quality tools, art, furniture, items that meet everyday life needs... are more in line with those attributes than camping gear.

That's my opinion.

Edited by MatthewBrown on 04/09/2012 11:15:00 MDT.

Jon Leibowitz
(jleeb) - F - MLife

Locale: 4Corners
Re: Wedding on 04/09/2012 11:41:07 MDT Print View

But cooking and home improvement are also hobbies to many people...I don't see how asking for that awesome new kitchen appliance (which will also go out of style and become obsolete in a few years)or power saw is any different than asking for that awesome new two person tent that you and your wife will enjoy together as a married couple.

Personally, I think what matters is asking for gifts that will enrich your life as a married couple, not what type of item it is.

Edited by jleeb on 04/09/2012 11:42:18 MDT.

Paul Magnanti
(PaulMags) - MLife

Locale: People's Republic of Boulder
Registry on 04/09/2012 12:03:06 MDT Print View

I am getting married this September as well.

Until I moved to Colorado, I did not even know what a wedding registry was. Growing up, at the weddings, there was a gift box (nicely wrapped) where people would stick cards and cash in it for the new couple.

Maybe it was a working-class Catholic thing, but that was what family and friends did back in the day. Adrianna also had a similar experience growing up over in central Europe.

Fast-forward to 2012. Seems a registry is now part and parcel of the wedding industry.

Adrianna and I are in our late 30s, have been living together for over two years and are comfortable enough with what we need. We also really don't want a bunch of stuff that we are going to have to put in storage. Do we really need five types of bamboo salad bowls? Three different types of butter dishes? And so on... And pay for it in storage until we have the room to use it?

We really don't/want need gifts. But we also recognize that people often don't feel comfortable veering from tradition or what is expected. Friends expect a registry. Our families want to give us gifts (or even cash!).

So we decided to go a compromise. On our wedding website (talking about 2012 vs 1990! :D), we said if you want to give a gift, gift cards from certain places will be welcome.

We picked four places where shop and can use stuff. Among them is a local outfitter.

I figure it is our wedding. If this gauche to say "No gifts please..but giftcards are fine" so be it.

We are having our wedding in a picnic ground with burgers and beer and our 'lodging' is a group campground. So what's a little more non-tradition? :)


If we listened to our Colorado friends, we'd be in Bed, Bath and Beyond all day rather than playing outside. Spending way too much time inside planning for what is supposed to be a celebration of our life in Colorado.

If we listed to our families, it would be a 'prom wedding' with a Catholic church, a macaroni and chicken dinner, stretch limos and matching pink poofy dresses.

No thanks.

It is your wedding day. Do what works for you. Register at REI, let your friends celebrate your life the way you want to.

:)

(Should also add we paying for everything out of own pockets....)

Edited by PaulMags on 04/09/2012 12:26:39 MDT.

Katy Anderson
(KatyAnderson) - F
Romantic on 04/09/2012 12:09:12 MDT Print View

I have friends who registered just at REI. They got themselves completely outfitted. Then they went off on their honeymoon with matching backpacks. I thought it was romantic!

Kier Selinsky
(Kieran) - F

Locale: Seattle, WA
Re: Wedding on 04/09/2012 12:21:44 MDT Print View

>>"I have never looked at a backpacking item as a life investment."

I always have. I know it's weird to some people, but my hobby gear is my most important investment. It's the tools I need to access what makes me happy. I can't remember for the life of me what my dinnerware or silverware was 10 years ago when I got married, but I remember every single trip into the wilderness. Those are trips I can't take if I don't have gear. Those are trips I wouldn't have taken with my wife and kid without that gear. Those trips make us a very tight knit family.

Mary D
(hikinggranny) - MLife

Locale: Gateway to Columbia River Gorge
Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 12:28:28 MDT Print View

A relatively old-fashioned grandma weighs in here:

It is YOUR wedding! There is nothing wrong with registering at an outdoor store. My youngest son and his fiance registered at REI for their wedding in the early 1990's, so yours is not a brand new concept. As long as you have also registered at a "traditional" alternative for those few who think only household items are suitable, go for it!

Despite registries, nearly all couples I know end up with several blenders and/or food processors, a bunch of sheets none of which fit their bed, a zillion mismatched dish towels and no way to exchange the stuff without hurting someone's feelings by asking for the receipts. My daughter received two food processors (those registries don't always work to prevent duplication) and, worse yet, two of those George Forman grill gizmos although she had never registered for them and she and her husband are both vegetarian! At least REI will take their stuff back!

From my wedding back in 1958, the one item that I still have, hanging on the wall in front of me as I type, is a metal tray that was hand-painted (tole painting) for me by one of my aunts (long since deceased). I've never used it as a tray because it is, IMHO, a work of art! Everything else is long gone.

Even back then, we'd far rather have received a tent than all the mismatched sheets and towels!

Edited by hikinggranny on 04/09/2012 12:55:01 MDT.

William Brown
(MatthewBrown) - F

Locale: Blue Ridge Mtns
Re: Re: Wedding on 04/09/2012 12:56:23 MDT Print View

(which will also go out of style and become obsolete in a few years)

I think we are talking about differing quality of items. I don't buy items that I intend to use everyday; plates, tools, kitchen mixers... that would break down or be obsolete within 3 years.

I have a 48 year old tablesaw that is better than any tablesaw you could buy today.

Jon Leibowitz
(jleeb) - F - MLife

Locale: 4Corners
Re: Re: Re: Wedding on 04/09/2012 13:02:43 MDT Print View

I doubt anything made today would last 48 years, no matter the quality or price.

I own a few old pieces of kitchenware that I couldn't replace the quality if I bought the most expensive comparable item today.

Nonetheless, I still think backpacking gear is appropriate. :)

Edited by jleeb on 04/09/2012 13:04:31 MDT.

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 13:08:36 MDT Print View

Totally appropriate! Remember to do the same for the baby showers too.

Logan Spader
(___o2) - F

Locale: .
Re: Registry on 04/09/2012 13:20:38 MDT Print View

"We are having our wedding in a picnic ground with burgers and beer and our 'lodging' is a group campground. So what's a little more non-tradition?"

I am so jealous of this.

....back on the gift registry topic. A lot of you said that for people like us tents, stoves, backpacks, etc, are part of daily living. That makes so much sense to me. I work to backpack/climb. We dont own a tv or gadgets because we would rather be outside. A sleeping bag makes way more sense to us then a new comforter.

Plus, I have spent the last six months simplifying my life, selling old stuff I never use on ebay/craigs and I have finally gotten to a point where our house is organized and we dont have piles of junk stacked in every closet. We have everything we could ever need now and I dont want to live in a house with 10 rooms that I dont use and closets full of things that we have forgotten about. Climbing gear will get used every few days, backpacking gear ever week or two, and a set of beautiful china would get used about once every three years. Hmm, in that sense it would be wasteful for me to NOT register at REI! Yes?

Logan Spader
(___o2) - F

Locale: .
Re on 04/09/2012 13:29:37 MDT Print View

Oh and thank you for all of the replies! Both my fiance and I read all of them and are happy to hear that most of you like the idea!

Paul Johnson
(johncooper) - F

Locale: SoCal
REI Registry on 04/09/2012 13:33:26 MDT Print View

I'm curious. What was the rational for the two sets of parents objections?

Stephen Barber
(grampa) - MLife

Locale: SoCal
Yes! on 04/09/2012 13:38:22 MDT Print View

OP: "Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear?"

Definitely! You should also include some kayaking, climbing, and cycling gear for your friends who are not backpackers. To ignore their favorite outdoor pursuits is quite rude!

William Brown
(MatthewBrown) - F

Locale: Blue Ridge Mtns
Re: Re: Re: Re: Wedding on 04/09/2012 13:46:05 MDT Print View

"I doubt anything made today would last 48 years, no matter the quality or price."

One example. Check out Falk Copper Cookware. Handmade in Belgium. There's still quality out there. You just have to do your research and bite the bullet when it comes to price. But realize your great-grandchildren will benefit from your prudence.

Jeff Gerke
(mtnrunner) - M

Locale: Utah
Do it on 04/09/2012 13:47:45 MDT Print View

Yes, it is totally appropriate. My wife and I registered at REI when we got married 18 years ago. The gifts we got from the REI register got way more use than the traditional gifts. Enjoying the outdoors together has been a huge part of what makes our marriage so great. Now we have three kids and we just got done taking them all backpacking in Coyote Gulch last week. We use our china once a year, talking about a waste. It's funny cause my wife didn't want to register for china but her mom made her.

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
BTW... on 04/09/2012 14:02:21 MDT Print View

To clarify, I don't think ANYONE should register for china, I can't hardly think of a bigger waste of money.

However I do think it is not the right thing to register for gear for hobbies. There is a reason why wedding gifts are for the new life/home. It's about starting fresh with nice things for you and your new bride to make a home. I think your parents are a more accurate reflection of the people that will be attending your wedding buying you the gifts and I think they are saying it's not a good idea for a reason.

P. Larson
(reacttocontact) - F
Re: Re on 04/09/2012 14:20:37 MDT Print View

I would suggest saying "Gift Cards" from REI.

Stephen M
(stephenm) - MLife

Locale: Lartnec Nagihcim
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 14:29:23 MDT Print View

You could always sneak an Mlife on to the Wedding list

P. Larson
(reacttocontact) - F
Re: Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 14:30:37 MDT Print View

"You could always sneak an Mlife on to the Wedding list" - Who knows, maybe you will be gifted one for getting married.

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
Re: Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 14:31:13 MDT Print View

I am going to be a little unpopular here, but I find the idea of " registering" anywhere somewhat rude. I get that it helps people get stuff they actually need ( or want....), but to me registering at a store is going too far with it.
I think a list of things you would like is much more appropriate and if that includes backpacking gear, that'd be fine with me.
It must be a cultural thing, as I was not raised with this in Europe. We also would never have kids open all their friend's presents at the party.

Edited for spelling.

Edited by Kat_P on 04/09/2012 14:32:38 MDT.

Kier Selinsky
(Kieran) - F

Locale: Seattle, WA
Re: Re: Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 14:45:36 MDT Print View

"but I find the idea of " registering" anywhere somewhat rude"

I can appreciate how it looks to those who aren't used to it. One important consideration though is that when you register at a store, the store tracks when people have bought that item off your registery. So on wedding day, you don't end up with 15 Osprey Exos 58 packs (what a tragedy that would be!) :)

It's all whatever to me, we eloped, so we didn't get any gifts! haha!

Mary D
(hikinggranny) - MLife

Locale: Gateway to Columbia River Gorge
Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 15:23:41 MDT Print View

Kat, I can see how the American custom of registering at stores would seem rude, like asking for gifts. However, registering serves several useful functions:

It frees the bridal couple and parents from constantly being inundated with "What do you/they want/need?" questions.

It hopefully means the bridal couple won't be inundated with gifts they can't use, especially of the mismatched variety. I remember receiving a bunch of those. Of course, as I mentioned with my daughter, registering didn't completely prevent that problem!

It theoretically eliminates duplication of gifts. Notice I said "theoretically," because, as mentioned above in my daughter's case, it doesn't always work. I had the same thing happen with amazon.com's "wish list" last Christmas--I got several duplicates--and I will never use it again!

If registries are used, the couple should be sure to specify a wide variety of price ranges.

I personally prefer giving a check or gift certificates so the couple can choose what they want. Some people think that's rude, too! You can't win!

IMHO the very best gift would be an item with a special history attached, or something tasteful made by the giver, such as the hand-painted tray from my aunt that I mentioned. However, not all of us are artistic (unlike you!) and not everyone appreciates home-crafted or antique items.

My daughter and her fiance, although they did register at a couple of stores, tried hard to get people to donate to selected charities instead of giving them gifts. That didn't work, either!

Paul Magnanti
(PaulMags) - MLife

Locale: People's Republic of Boulder
Parental Units on 04/09/2012 15:40:00 MDT Print View

>>I think your parents are a more accurate reflection of the people that will be >>attending your wedding buying you the gifts and I think they are saying it's not a good >>>idea for a reason.

Really? How so?

If I listened to my parents, I'd still be be back East living five minutes away from them. ;) At least in my case, most the guests are fellow Coloradoans who are transplants and roughly our age (30s and 40s). Not sure what input the parents would have on our guests...


>>>It must be a cultural thing, as I was not raised with this in Europe.

My fiancee' grew up in Europe as well and never heard of it either.

OTOH, I grew up in the US and truly never heard of a registry until a few years ago. Definitely not part of my cultural heritage either. (To be fair, neither is two kegs of Oskar Blues, a grill and some burgers at a wedding! :) )

Anyway, at least for us, we are doing away with the registry and doing a modern version of the gift box both Adrianna and I grew up with....if people really feel the need to give a gift.

As the saying goes "Our guests presence is a present enough".

And we truly mean it.

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: Re: Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 15:56:43 MDT Print View

How about you collect cash envelopes in a large stuff sack instead of presents.

Randy Nelson
(rlnunix) - F - M

Locale: Rockies
Wedding on 04/09/2012 15:58:34 MDT Print View

"(To be fair, neither is two kegs of Oskar Blues, a grill and some burgers at a wedding! :) )"

2 kegs of OB??? I'm sorry but I seemed to have misplaced my invite, please re-send. :)

I think the registering for gear is a great idea! We had already been living together when we got married and didn't need anything so we didn't do it. Shoot, we didn't even send out invitations. Just told friends and family where it would be (Stoneman Meadow in Yosemite Valley) and said if you can join us great (there was only 3 weeks notice) and if not, no problem. Worked out very nicely.

Nick Gatel
(ngatel) - MLife

Locale: Southern California
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/09/2012 16:49:46 MDT Print View

I agree, it is your wedding.

A couple years ago I went to the wedding of some friends son. Sometimes we go camping with the Groom's parents. Of course the parents have all the camping gear, the kids had little. So as a wedding present the Groom's parents bought EVERYTHING the kids would need for any camping trip. I thought it was really cool and stuff they could use.

My wife and I have some expensive wedding gifts we received when we got married. I am afraid to touch them, as I might break them. A McHale would have been a much better gift for me :)

Of course, cash is King!

Richard Juen
(skinkrj1) - F

Locale: Pacific Northwest
REI Registry on 04/09/2012 17:29:57 MDT Print View

I don't think it would be rude at all. It would have been so much more fun for my wife and I to get outdoor stuff from REI than the usual blenders, kitchen items, etc. We must have just been too traditional 32 years ago to even think of something creative like that. A great idea I think. Congratulations!

Greg F
(GregF) - F

Locale: Canadian Rockies
We had a mix on 04/09/2012 20:26:17 MDT Print View

I registered for things i needed this included a bunch of car camping gear, pots and pans, small appliances.

So 6 years later what i still use are

Pots and pans, a good pot set is a fantastic gift and lasts forever so if you dont have a nice set it is a great gift
Kitchen aid mixer and blender
Camping stove, camping pot set
Tent
Tools
Cutlery

Things i never used / dont use any more
Gimmicky appliances, if you get them take them back
Bedding
Towels

I would say that 5 years later camping gear is definately one of the gifts that last and outside of the pots will probably last the longest.

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
Re: Parental Units on 04/10/2012 07:54:41 MDT Print View

">>I think your parents are a more accurate reflection of the people that will be >>attending your wedding buying you the gifts and I think they are saying it's not a good >>>idea for a reason.

Really? How so?

If I listened to my parents, I'd still be be back East living five minutes away from them. ;) At least in my case, most the guests are fellow Coloradoans who are transplants and roughly our age (30s and 40s). Not sure what input the parents would have on our guests..."

Relating your choice of where to live/move and how to live your life has little to do with what you register for as gifts. My advice is geared towards Logan, and I got the impression the parents are throwing them a wedding versus he is paying for his own wedding. The parents probably know 90% of the people attending the wedding. There is a reason why wedding gifts are geared towards the home, it's because two people are coming together to make a new family and a new home.

I also don't subscribe to the idea of 'it's your day, do whatever you want and your guests should just suck it up and deal with it, if they don't like it forget them'. Weddings are about the bride and groom yes but if you expect people to travel from all over, take time off work, spend money coming to your wedding and bring you a thoughtful (and expensive) gift to share and add to the excitement and specialness of the day then the wedding is no longer just about you. If you are footing the bill and want to do your own thing, if people come or not you don't care then fine, it is your choice but I have also seen where people do that then complain that nobody came.

When I got married we had not lived together but between the two of us we had all the sheets, towels, plates, whatever to outfit our home but those things were our stuff, mis-matches, college stuff. We registered for nice, new things that were ours together. Sheets that only we will have slept on together, dishes only we will have eaten on together. Our old stuff we donated and or gave away to friends. We got new towels, new pots and pans, cooking utensils we needed to cook nice meals together. We didn't get 5 butter dishes, no fine china that gathers dust. Almost 5 years later we are still eating off our nice matching dishes, still cooking together with our wonderful pots and pans, still drying off and enjoying our matching towels, and enjoying our wonderful new mattress, with wonderful new high thread count sheets, under our awesome down blanket with beautiful duvet cover on our awesome pillows. These things are our things, in our home, that we built when we joined together in marriage. This, to me, is what marriage and wedding gifts are about...the new home that is created when two people join in marriage.

Backpacking and climbing may be an activity the married couple enjoy together every week for the rest of their lives but, it is a hobby and in my opinion, has nothing to do with a wedding.

All that said, I give cash in an envelope with a card for wedding gifts. Folks can buy whatever they want with it but that is not typically how Aunt Suzie and Uncle Jim feel. Aunt Suzie and Uncle Jim want to feel good about giving a gift for the new home of the bride and groom, not feel bad that the $350 pot and pan set they gave you is boring compared with the snowboard set Aunt Sally gave you.

BTW I don't think it is rude, just not appropriate for the occasion.

Edited by TylerD on 04/10/2012 10:58:49 MDT.

Jacob D
(JacobD) - F

Locale: North Bay
Re: REI Registry on 04/10/2012 10:06:47 MDT Print View

Without making a bunch of assumptions about who is paying for what, what gifts are supposed to represent to you or the people who give them, and which relatives want to buy you X, and whether or not hobbies will come and go....


Registering at REI (or where ever) is not rude at all.

It's awesome that you two can enjoy the outdoors and backpacking together. If you were my friends, or relatives, I would be very happy to know I was giving you a gift that would help you to have that experience.

Jacob D
(JacobD) - F

Locale: North Bay
Re: REI Registry on 04/10/2012 10:19:06 MDT Print View


...when you register at a store, the store tracks when people have bought that item off your registery. So on wedding day, you don't end up with 15 Osprey Exos 58 packs (what a tragedy that would be!) :)

It's all whatever to me, we eloped, so we didn't get any gifts! haha!


Too funny, Kier! We eloped also. Maybe I should start a thread, "Is it too late to fill a second-wedding registry with backpacking gear?"

If group consensus approves then I'll have to get that ceremony in order :D

Dale Wambaugh
(dwambaugh) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/10/2012 10:22:38 MDT Print View

We should all chip in and send the couple an REI gift card just to press the point :)

Paul Magnanti
(PaulMags) - MLife

Locale: People's Republic of Boulder
Er, um, ah on 04/10/2012 11:04:23 MDT Print View

>>This, to me, is what marriage and wedding gifts are about...the new home that is >>created when two people join in marriage.

What if two people are already in a current home and have that nice mattress you mentioned?

I doubt there will $350 gifts from my relatives. You want to adopt me by any chance??? A bit more modest of a background it seems in my family. ;) As mentioned, I never even heard of wedding registry until a I was about 30.

In fairness, I think a registry makes more sense if you are young couple who are just starting out. We are both 37 and don't really need anything. And to reverse your numbers, my parents will know perhaps (at best) 10% of the people there.

Finally, I don't think a wedding and a marriage is a about gifts at all. It is about celebrating the start of a new stage in our lives and sharing it with

Guess I will be iconoclastic, not have a registry (or rather being traditional perhaps, really), and know people are already looking forward to a low key affair that does not involves gifts. I know because we went to a similar wedding in Crested Butte and had a blast. But it was a bunch of hiker trash...so who knows. :D

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
Alternative... on 04/10/2012 11:05:19 MDT Print View

Let me ask ya'll this...

If my wife and I were into race cars, would it be appropriate to register at Summit Racing and get car parts, helmets, and tires for our wedding?

What if we are both into fishing, okay to register at Bass Pro Shops?

How about if we are into Harley's and we want a chromed out exhaust, leather chaps, and air filters for our bikes?

Paul Magnanti
(PaulMags) - MLife

Locale: People's Republic of Boulder
Heck yeah! on 04/10/2012 11:09:28 MDT Print View

Heck yeah!

That sounds awesome actually.

But, we in Colorado are weird. Almost every wedding I've been to out here, people ARE registered at REI. I kid you not.

D@mn, I'd love to see one of those three things.

Great idea!

"Our hobbies" are actually a major part of our lives. It is how we met, why we moved to Colorado, and how we are planning the next stage in our careers (we want to work less so we can be outside more).

So, if I was Harley rider, why not?

Best idea I've heard for a registry yet. Very cool!

Edited by PaulMags on 04/10/2012 11:12:54 MDT.

P. Larson
(reacttocontact) - F
Re: Heck yeah! on 04/10/2012 11:17:09 MDT Print View

Didn't this registry thing start way back when people got married right out of high school? When the married couple used to live with their parents and owned nothing?

Hell, the last thing I need is another blender, toaster, a set of flat wear, forks, spoons, plates, and no, I don't need a stinking huge bowl. I don't care that it's made of crystal. I'm not a materialistic person and I don't need that garbage.

BTW...if I am ever invited to any of your weddings and you register at one of those places, expect an American Express gift card. =)

The last wedding I went to, the couple asked for either trip credits for their honeymoon cruise so they could do a few of the activities or REI gift cards because they were torn between buying 2 different bigger items.

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
Re: Er, um, ah on 04/10/2012 11:19:12 MDT Print View

Paul - Yes $350 would be a nice gift, only got a couple of those from close relatives.

I agree your wedding is different. I assumed since Logan said both parents were against it, that he is concerned with what his folks think, and he looks kind of younger in the profile picture that his folks are probably more involved, I assumed possible having the more traditional family wedding where the guest list would be mostly family, family friends, that sort of thing. Maybe I am assuming too much.

I didn't say marriage is about gifts, I said marriage is about the formation of a new home...hence the reason why wedding gifts have traditionally always been gifts for the new home not just buying them things that fit their fancy or outfitting them for their favorite hobby. I guess that is my point, it is not supposed to be about gifts per say (although a lot of it has turned into that) it started from the family and friends wanting to help the new couple create a comfortable home.

I agree with your suggestion that weddings should be low key. In my opinion weddings should be at home and gifts should be a potluck dish to add to the food table.

Art ...
(asandh) - F
Re: Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear? on 04/10/2012 11:27:40 MDT Print View

hmmm ?
3 pages about a wedding registry ?
on BPL ?
weddings should be small (anyone can get married).
25 year anniversaries should be big (not everyone can do this).

Dutch Anderson
(Silveradodutchman) - F

Locale: Central Florida
wedding registry on 04/10/2012 12:13:39 MDT Print View

My daughter did just that. REI and all. She and her hubby really stocked up on needed supplies for their recreational life. It's all about what you are about. They ain't the china and crystal type.

Ty Ty
(TylerD)

Locale: SE US
Wife set me straight... on 04/10/2012 19:06:57 MDT Print View

HA! So went for a job/walk with my wife tonight and asked her, she says registering at places like REI is appropriate and common. She said she agrees it is not traditional but that everybody does it these days and it is no big deal so I stand corrected. She said if the parents object for the wedding you could have a 'Camping Shower' sort of deal where your closer friends and family did the camping stuff then for the main wedding you stick with the traditional registry. She reminded me that I had a tool shower thrown for me which I had not forgotten about, in my opinion though that is for the home since the tools are used 99% of the time fixing stuff around the house but I guess that could be argued either way.

However, I am not giving up my opinion that this is not inline with the original idea of helping the new couple build their home together. But that is my opinion, apparently most people don't agree with me.