While trying to avoid the profanity filter I'll say this...
We have a saying here in SE LA. "When you're up to your _____ in alligators you're gonna run, walk, swim or fly."
My point being, when you are presented with a situation that demands you do whatever you can ASAP to avoid serious injury or worse a person will "try" to survive.
Parachutes have harnesses, multiple shroud lines and steering lines. At most your TrailStar has 10 attachment points for guy lines. All of these would be held in your hands as you attempted your "jump".
Use the proper tool for the job. I doubt that you really want to carry a chute on a hike but an alternative might be a suitable length of climbing rope and gloves to allow for a quick descent.