Just placed my pre-order. Say Andrew, does your book have and UL tips for soothing an angry wife? I ask because she's seen that I 'bought ANOTHER backpacking book' and isn't too happy.

Chad,

Every time you need a book or piece of gear, just suggest to your wife that she ought to go out and buy another pair of shoes or a purse. This works exceptionally well for me :)

Another method is to budget a "slush fund" for each partner. Each gets their own play money to spend as they see fit. Equal amount of money for each. This works well too.

You can also do the "buy her a present before gear purchase" strategy. Flowers work well and often result in additional benefits :) However if you buy too much gear, she will figure it out and ask, "what did you buy or what did you do wrong." So the giving a present approach takes time, skill, and finesse.

And then there is the "just sneak it in" methodology. That works well too.

Now if you are really good, work on your sales technique. Make the purchase "her" idea. I did this with a $14,000 tent trailer a few years ago. Not only did she think it was her idea, but she paid for it!!

"...then there is the "just sneak it in" methodology."

This one is my favourite. My methodology is:

1) Hoard the key(s) to the mailbox
2) Order all the gear you want well in advance of when you need it
3) Intercept parcel and hide it your gear closet
4) Since you ordered it well in advance, when she finally sees you using it and asks where you got it, just say 'oh this old thing? I've had it for a while'.

Edited by dandydan on 01/17/2012 10:58:51 MST.

"We talked about it; don't you remember?"

"We talked about it; don't you remember?"

Will, that only works if YOU remember all the things that SHE talks about. Herein lies the problem, typically men don't listen. We are thinking about other things. So you have to work at the listening skills. And how do I know this? Do a lot of driving and once I listened to Dr Laura while putting in some serious windshield time. She said it is a fact that women are better listeners :)


Dan,

You got it down. Since I am at home most of the time, it is easy to intercept packages. When I am on the road, I have the packages sent to our private mail box. Pretty easy it be a sneak :)

But truth be told, she spends much more on stuff than me. There is little that I need, so she struggles to come up with ideas for my birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, etc. To be honest, I would prefer we just skip them altogether, but that is not going to happen. So she is thrilled if I give her a list of gear items.

So, I shall just let her buy Andy's book. Pretty simple. Just print out the page from his Website and leave it on my desk.

Hopefully an ebook version will be coming out in the future. Although I used to be a book collector, one of the steps I took in "ultralighting" my life was donating the majority of my books to the local library. Now I only buy kindle books. Same great content, no new possessions.

i simply buy what i feel i need - synths, books, backpacking gear, bike,s whatever - she knows i will use it so it doesn't matter.

There will be an e-book version. It's not available yet; probably next month, around the same time the book is formally released.

"There will be an e-book version. It's not available yet; probably next month, around the same time the book is formally released."

great, i could have saved the weight - is that the first lesson in the book :)

Edited by asciibaron on 01/18/2012 07:52:07 MST.

Nick

My wife owns four pairs of shoes and has one purse so that vice won't work.

Both of use already have a monthly budget of 'fun money' that we can each spend on ourselves, no questions asked. I just wish my budget was higher. ;)

If I bought my wife a present each time I bought gear wouldn't that just deplete my fun money budget even faster?

Sneak it in, not a chance. My wife does our finances. Quite well I may add!

Make it 'her idea'. Yeah I've been trying that technique for a new tv, a dog, or an AR15 for years now. No luck.

Chad,

It seems my wife's shoes reproduce in the closet :)

Little inexpensive gifts show what your are thoughtful, also save the gear budget.

Wife does finances and is quite good -- MAJOR BUMMER :)

Dog? Kids live longer :)

So maybe sharing some of the stories on Andrew's Website might have helped. And then you can say you know him personally via BPL and you would like to help him out? I don't know, these things take practice.

Now, I am going to share with you how sales organizations really motivate sales people. Lets say that sales commission for a widget is $500, and of course each paycheck is for the commission you earned. Hard to hide that from the spouse. But sales managers KNOW that WDK Money motivates sales people very well. A $50 spiff or bonus works great if it is paid in cash or by a separate check. Sales people are brutal trying to earn that $50, and one would think the $500 commission for each widget would be enough. WDK stands for Wife Don't Know :o) or it can also be HDK or SODK.

Anyway great to hear it is going to be an eBook. Easy to hide, if the significant other is not the astute accountant in the family.

I am sure I will learn some things from the book, but I don't expect to learn a great deal about gear. Books like these, if they are well written, allow one to get "inside" the author's head. Of course the master was Colin Fletcher. I am looking forward to Andrew's view of wild places aside from all the other internet stuff I have read. Hope he sells a ton of them.

Meh. Having to deal with an angry wife builds character. It's good for you.....

"Meh. Having to deal with an angry wife builds character. It's good for you....."

I like to think view it as similar to a game of chess :)

Last year and a half I've gotten a total of a 35% raise. I told her Ive gotten 20%. She's happy, rest goes in a secret account. Some money goes on gear, some for household items, some.for.vacations a little nicer than she thinks we can afford.
My work allows me to split my paycheck into 3 accounts plus 401k, and I can adjust it with each paycheck.

Lying to your wife about how much you make in order to hide money from her? Wow Chris, that's F'ed up.

"Some money goes on gear, some for household items, some.for.vacations..." and the rest on hookers and beer.

See my wife knows about the money I spend on hookers and beer. ;)

"- A Gear List that is specific to Philmont Scout Ranch"

That will be very helpful. I ordered one for our troop.

Thanks,
John

"Not only did she think it was her idea, but she paid for it!!"

That's brilliant, but I hope you have this site password protected!!

We've had separate fun money accounts for a year or so and it works out great. Guilt free spending.

But I'm not above laundering a little gas money.

I ordered the book. Great new website BTW, it is very user friendly.
-Conner