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Pig Joke
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Daryl and Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Pig Joke on 11/05/2011 13:56:29 MDT Print View

Farmer's holding a big fat pig in his arms so it can reach and eat the apples on the farmer's tree.

Passerby says "that's the biggest waste of time I have ever seen"

Farmer replies "yes, that may be so....... but what's time to a pig?"

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: PNW
Re: Another Pig Joke on 11/05/2011 16:26:19 MDT Print View

Salesman stops by a farm and as he's talking to the farmer he notices a 3-legged pig hobbling about.

"Well, you don't see a 3-legged pig every day," muses the salesman.

"That there pig saved my life," replies the farmer. "I was working in the barn one night when a sharp wind caught my overalls and pulled me and my ladder down. Knocked me out cold and knocked my lantern over on the ground. The hay quickly caught fire, and the wind got it going real good."

As the farmer paused to spit, the salesman eagerly asked, "What happened then?"

"Well," the farmer continued, "that there pig grabbed my collar in his mouth and dragged me out of the barn and away from the fire. Saved my life for sure. Lost the entire barn."

"That's amazing!" exclaimed the salesman. "Is that how he lost his leg?"

"Nah," answered the farmer dryly, adding, "But you see, a pig that special, you just don't eat him all at once....."

Daryl and Daryl
(lyrad1) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Northwest, USA, Earth
Re: Re: Another Pig Joke on 11/06/2011 10:17:23 MST Print View

I was at a dinner party last night. I told my pig joke. Guy next to me followed up with the same one Douglas just told.

I see this as more evidence of a parallel universe.

a b
Yet another Pig joke.. on 11/06/2011 10:42:57 MST Print View

What do you get when you cross 5 male deer and 5 female pigs?

5 sows and bucks.

Nick Gatel
(ngatel) - MLife

Locale: Southern California
Yet another Pig joke.. on 11/06/2011 22:26:37 MST Print View

A few years ago my brother was driving to work and sees this pig in the street trying to avoid getting hit by a car. Concerned about the pig, my brother gets it into his car. Not knowing what to do, he flags down a police officer and asks him what to do. "Take it to the zoo," replies the cop.

The next day my brother is driving down the same street, and the pig is sitting in the passenger seat looking out. The cop pulls him over. "I thought I told you to take the pig to the zoo," he says.

My brother answers, "Yes. And we had so much fun at the zoo yesterday, today we are going to Disneyland."

Alex Belding
(pinnhead4) - F

Locale: Michigan
Pig walks into a bar on 11/08/2011 12:09:47 MST Print View

A pig walks into a bar sits down and orders a pint. The bartender obliges and watches as the pig drains the glass in one long swallow. Upon finishing the pig kindly asks where he might find the restroom. The bartender points him down the hall.

As the first pigs heads to bathroom a second pig enters and orders two pints. Just like the first pig he drains them both accordingly and asks where the toilet is located. Again the bartender points him down the hall.

With second pig on his way to the restroom a third pig arrives and orders three pints. Again he drains them all dry but when finished he pays his bill and heads for the exit. The bartender questions him "Hey, aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?"

The pig reply's " Nope, I am gunna go wee wee wee all the way home."

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: Pig Joke on 11/08/2011 19:09:49 MST Print View

BPL is worth it just for the pig jokes. The gear talk is fine, but pig jokes.
I think I will bring pig jokes in my survival kit. A good attitude will keep you going.

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: Pig Joke on 11/14/2011 19:47:15 MST Print View

still waiting for another pig joke.

David Noll
(dpnoll) - MLife

Locale: Maroon Bells
profound statement on 11/15/2011 04:46:30 MST Print View

I think Winston Churchill's quip qualifies as a pig joke.

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: profound statement on 11/15/2011 11:36:02 MST Print View

"A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal." -- Animal farmish!