The CIA and I learned on Thanksgiving Day, 2006, that the reason we can’t find Osama is that he has been using SUL gear for years:
- Staff is a hollow titanium tube containing:
- GG Polycryo Ground Sheet, 1.30 oz
- BMW Ti stakes (6), 1.3 oz
- His robe is actually a re-built Six Moon Designs Gatewood
Cape Shelter, redone large enough to use
Osama’s staff, and built using Cuben Fiber brand sailcloth, 3.50 oz
- Osama’s beard is dried pasta, supplemented with any grass in the local area.
- Osama herds along several goats, which provide meat, milk, and sex.
- Osama sleeps in the nude.