What size backpack for my Wife?
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Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 11:49:23 MDT Print View

"OK, at the risk of sounding like a b*tch, I have to say this because I was more than somewhat taken back by your question: "For those of you who backpack with wives, how much do they typically carry and what size pack to they have?"

REALLY???"

Well, at least you were willing to take the risk......

Perhaps that's why he came on here asking for other men's opinions, he didn't want to get b*tched at by asking women......

Chris S
(csteutterman) - F

Locale: San Francisco Bay Area
Re: total hooey on 03/24/2011 12:00:41 MDT Print View

"(although I can still run faster than she can when she is chasing me)"

The "when she is chasing me" part is cracking me up. Good stuff.

Sumi Wada
(DetroitTigerFan) - F

Locale: Ann Arbor
Re: total hooey on 03/24/2011 12:29:32 MDT Print View

>> I see no need to come on a public forum and label someone as sexist.

I actually don't recall anyone being labeled as a sexist. I think the OP's original question was poorly directed, which I tried to point out without a lot of fuss and my impression was that he got it. ("Point taken.")

My objection has NOTHING to do with anyone's relationships, roles in their marriages, which spouse is stronger/faster/smarter... I have no problem with him asking advice on behalf of his wife. My issue was that he directed his question specifically to the HUSBANDS. If you actually go back and read my response, you'll see that I was only suggesting that he might ask the WOMEN, since the question was about women's gear.

I know I promised that I wouldn't belabor the point but I don't like my statements being taken out of context or their meanings twisted.

And as for your comparison to asking advice for a 13 year old, I think you just made my point. We women backpackers aren't children.

>> Perhaps that's why he came on here asking for other men's opinions, he didn't want to get b*tched at by asking women......

I'm sure the OP is really grateful for having you in his corner. Good luck with that attitude.

Edited by DetroitTigerFan on 03/24/2011 12:32:41 MDT.

Karple T
(ctracyverizon)

Locale: Mid-Alantic
What size for my wife? on 03/24/2011 14:17:38 MDT Print View

Gee... I'm glad I didn't ask what kind of boots your wives use!

Edited by ctracyverizon on 03/24/2011 14:25:19 MDT.

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
There is a point there on 03/24/2011 14:51:10 MDT Print View

While Sumi's tone may have been a bit harsh, considering an innocent and well meaning question, there is a point to be made there. I have come close several times to writing a post that points out how often posts and remarks are made, as if we women aren't even on this Forum. Sure, mostly no harm is intended, but "boots are like women", " the wife...(whatever else)", comparing us to children....it all adds up. I have wondered if other women are just more tolerant than myself, or if it's not even worth it and they know it.
I think it's fine to address other men , but we are here too. It is also fine to have more traditional roles in relatioships, and husbands who do all the handywork, and women who don't like to sleep outside, don't carry their stuff, don't know how to start a fire, drive a tractor, change their oil etc. I really think whatever works for you is just dandy. BUT, don't assume we are all like that .
Also, if we come on strong, we are Bitching you out, but when men come on strong...it does not quite get a name like that.

Lyan Jordan
(redmonk)

Locale: Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem
What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 14:57:27 MDT Print View

So ladies, how much weight do you carry when you really aren't interested in backpacking, don't have your own kit, and are just going along with your partner because they want you to be part of their activities ?

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
re on 03/24/2011 15:01:18 MDT Print View

So ladies, how much weight do you carry when you really aren't interested in backpacking, don't have your own kit, and are just going along with your partner because they want you to be part of their activities ?

Point taken Cameron. Just could not quite see it like that. Just goes to show I fall into my own trap and somehow think that most women really, secretly want to do all that.

Edited by Kat_P on 03/24/2011 15:16:01 MDT.

Mary D
(hikinggranny) - MLife

Locale: Gateway to Columbia River Gorge
What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:14:36 MDT Print View

I'm just wondering what the reaction would be here if I asked the following question:

"My husband isn't interested in backpacking, but he says he's willing to come with me for one trip. He has no experience and no gear. Can you women who backpack with your husbands suggest a pack that I could get him? What size? How much weight should I expect him to carry?"

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: There is a point there on 03/24/2011 15:15:21 MDT Print View

"While Sumi's tone may have been a bit harsh, considering an innocent and well meaning question,"

And that was the sole point of my post. Yup, Sumi had an excellent point to make. But to do so under some sort of outrage was, IMO, silly. A guy asked other guys for advice. What a shock.

"Also, if we come on strong, we are Bitching you out, but when men come on strong...it does not quite get a name like that."

As far as my use of the term, I was simply using the same language Sumi used. But to the larger point, actually I've used the same phrase referring to guys who 'yelled' at me. You can say the term itself, regardless of which sex it's used to describe, is offensive, and I can understand that point.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:21:30 MDT Print View

"I'm just wondering what the reaction would be here if I asked the following question:

"My husband isn't interested in backpacking, but he says he's willing to come with me for one trip. He has no experience and no gear. Can you women who backpack with your husbands suggest a pack that I could get him? What size? How much weight should I expect him to carry?""

I think you might have gotten a few good natured responses about excluding men, but not rants. I think a bunch of guys wouldn't have even done the ribbing and just answered your question. I think you would have gotten a few joke responses that were obvious jokes. And then, of course, there would have been my response.

In any case, the thread would have drifted to the environmental impact of husbands/packs/backpacking/cuben or the death rate for driving to the trailhead as opposed to dying in the woods within a page or two.

Katharina ....
(Kat_P) - MLife

Locale: Pacific Coast
b- word on 03/24/2011 15:21:39 MDT Print View

Your point is taken too, Doug. However, in all the flaming wars, in China, in Cuben, at Rei, many posts and remarks would have warranted that word more than in this case. But she did use it herself, so what else can I say. I use the word too, but try to not just apply it to women, because it's a behavior that crosses genders.

John Nausieda
(Meander) - MLife

Locale: PNW
There is a point here on 03/24/2011 15:22:46 MDT Print View

My husband isn't interested in backpacking, but he says he's willing to come with me for one trip. He has no experience and no gear. Can you women who backpack with your husbands suggest a pack that I could get him? What size? How much weight should I expect him to carry?"

A Pink Hello Kitty backpack. Put a Mylar Helium balloon of your choice in it. Seriously This guy is just asking about equipment as half the team.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:22:50 MDT Print View

MaryD:

I find no issue with your hypothetical question at all. For those who do, I would wonder if they aren't the type that would mount every high horse they see -- just so they can put down others for being "offensive" and to let others know just how enlightened they themselves are! Mary, are you that type of a person?

Lyan Jordan
(redmonk)

Locale: Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem
What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:25:37 MDT Print View

Success is the greatest teacher.

If you don't deliver a good experience on the first trip, there won't be a second.

I generally use that as the guideline for determining how much a new person carries.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:27:32 MDT Print View

"Mary, are you that type of a person?"

I'll take that one, even though it's not directed to me or any of my business (if I waited to be asked or only responded to things that were my business, I'd never get to say anything......)

No. hikinggranny has been on here a lot longer than I have, and I think her history of posts speaks for itself. She's also been kind enough to answer questions for me via PM. She asked a valid question in relation to the way the thread has drifted. FWIW

T kawa
(kitsune) - F
Re: Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:30:52 MDT Print View

Just wondering if there is a known % of male vs female on BPL?

sidenote, I posted a while back looking for women's gear list's, because I looked and found 1.

addition: also, you don't make ppl "aware" by pointing things out and using an unfriendly tone... being a "Dick" usually doesn't make ppl "hear" what you're saying.... (this is america though, so you're very likely to get your way =D)

Edited by kitsune on 03/24/2011 15:36:57 MDT.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: b- word on 03/24/2011 15:32:23 MDT Print View

Katharina:

I use the B-word a lot -- when bantering. I am absolutely delighted that the expression is now commonly used regardless of gender!

To me, there is a great difference between a banter and a slur. And it is not in the vocabulary, because the exact same words are often used.

A slur -- which is by definition intentional -- has no place in any conversation -- regardless of whether it's racial or sexist or demeaning in any other way. A banter? Well, that depends... which is why life is both "art" and "science".

Edited by ben2world on 03/24/2011 15:39:31 MDT.

Ben 2 World
(ben2world) - MLife

Locale: So Cal
Re: Re: Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:38:10 MDT Print View

""Mary, are you that type of a person?"

I'll take that one, even though it's not directed to me or any of my business (if I waited to be asked or only responded to things that were my business, I'd never get to say anything......)

No. hikinggranny has been on here a lot longer than I have, and I think her history of posts speaks for itself. She's also been kind enough to answer questions for me via PM. She asked a valid question in relation to the way the thread has drifted. FWIW"



Exactly! Methinks it's become increasingly silly how some people jump on the "I'm offended" bandwagon. Sure, it can be hard to discern "intention" through an LCD screen -- but before publicly belittling someone for offense -- one can take a few minutes to look into (1) situational context and (2) history / pattern. Not all "poor wording" constitutes offense!

Truth be told, it DIDN'T occur to me that OP's question was "poorly worded". However, Sumi opened my eyes to how this could cause others (in this case women hikers) to feel "left out" for the wrong reasons! Op responded immediately with "point taken"

Methinks that should have been the end of it. But then, seems like a few just like to jump on the high horse every time an opportunity comes along... Not necessarily this particular thread.. but when it happens, it often turns a "teaching moment" into a "defensive moment" -- and thus wasted.

Edited by ben2world on 03/24/2011 15:42:45 MDT.

Tim Zen
(asdzxc57) - F

Locale: MI
Re: What size backpack for my Wife? on 03/24/2011 15:44:32 MDT Print View

Bought her the same make and model pack, just a smaller size. We split the weight fairly evenly.

Mark Ries
(mtmnmark) - M

Locale: IOWAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
ok ok on 03/24/2011 15:47:09 MDT Print View

I just still want to know if Kimberly Wersal has a sister (who is single and backpacks like she does)