I know that this is not what you want to hear in this situation, but I think patience is key here. I ordered a pad from Bender in the middle of October. After the 3-5 week window that he gave me passed, I started getting impatient, but still waited.
Finally, I did email him (5 weeks after my order) because I was going to be out of town for Thanksgiving, and I didn't want the pad to arrive while I was out and sit on my porch for a week (or, disappear from my porch, as I was worried about). That email never got a response.
I emailed him a second time, 7 1/2 weeks in, and didn't hear anything from that one either. However, a few days later, I got a PayPal notice that he had shipped my pad. All told, 8 weeks before he had it finished and shipped.
I don't say that to complain, because overall I think he made a great pad for me. And I would seriously considering ordering from him again (though, he'd probably have to switch to a 30D fabric rather than the 70D he uses now for me to be intrigued enough). His communication is spotty--sometimes he responds well (he did several times for me in the months before my order) and sometimes he doesn't. He's also in pretty high demand, and being a one-man operation, it sounds like he gets overwhelmed easily.
I wouldn't worry about being scammed, but I'd just tell you to wait it out, as frustrating as that is.