It is boring waiting for Santa so I am compiling a list of Murphy's Law (anything that can or will go wrong) about backpacking.
If anyone would like to contribute, please post here
(1) "Need is directly impacted by Scarcity. (in other words, the more scarce it is, the more you need it)and its natural corollary: If you bring a gob, you won't need any of it.
(2) Record cold will follow if you send home winter gear. The correlary: Record heat will follow if you decide to keep your winter gear another week.
(3) Pretending you don't hear (or just plain ignoring) a Park Ranger that is using his/her loudspeaker can get your butt thrown out of Yellowstone National Park.
(4) No matter how light you think your gear is, Brawny has just designed something infinitely lighter and more functional, and she will make a small fortune off it too.
(5) Leaving your ice axe and crampons at home in order to save weight is the surest way to get a mid-August snow storm in the high Sierras.
(6) Observing National Hike Naked Day assures one of meeting a lost, frustrated TV camera crew at a remote road crossing. They will be facing a deadline and have so far found nothing of interest to photograph.
Corollary: At least three of your blabber-mouthed friends will see
the pictures of you on the 6 o'clock news. At least one will call the
station to ID you. One of the others will post it to You-Tube.
1. The dehydrated dinner you prepared after a long 25 mile day on the trail will not look or taste anything like what the packaging described and will be inedible - even by a hungry hiker.
2. Only after irretrievably throwing your inedible dinner away will you discover that your pack is now devoid of food and it is still 34 miles to your re-supply point.
COROLLARY: 26 of those 34 miles will be up-hill
3. Sadly, there is no such thing as dehydrated water. You still have to carry those eight liters at 2 pounds each on your desert trek.
4. The sugar you just stirred into the group's evening tea turns out to be baking soda. While trying to avoid the rocks and insults hurled in your direction, you make a mental note to properly label everything before loading your pack.
5. The watched pot never boils. The unwatched pot carbonizes its contents solidly to the bottom in the blink of an eye.
6. In your haste to get to the trail, you neglect to test-fire your stove. Only AFTER your support vehicle leaves and you begin to prepare dinner do you discover that one of the fuel connections leaks under pressure. Unfortunately, you have already lit the match.
COROLLARY 1: In your rabid pursuit of ultralite Nirvana, you left the special wrench needed to tighten said connection at home.
COROLLARY 2: You learn to love slightly crunchy, cold re-hydrated food over the next 125 miles.
7. The packaging called the dinner "spicy". Out on the trail you discover that the manufacturer has discovered a process to dehydrate molten lava.
COROLLARY: You have three more of these dinners in your food bag.