The big three: Your pack, bag and shelter
For lightweight camping each item should be <3#
For Ultralight camping each item should be <2#
For Super Ultralight camping each item should be <1#
Camp kitchens are <1# for lightweight, <1/2# for UL and less than 1/4# for SUL.
Weight of individual items is important, BUT, do not overlook the weight of the entire system. Carrying a 6# tent and a 1/4oz stove doesn’t make much sense, as you found out. Soo, you are on the right track. I have heard good things about the Contrail. My only problem with it is versatility…it does not double as anything. I would recommend a tarp and an internal net tent. The tarp doubles as shelter, or a sit pad, or a wind break, or a blanket, or a lean-too. Soo, only the mesh tent is left as single purpose gear. This will weigh the same as the Contrail, but be more versatile, generally. And it separates the sleep system portion of the tent from the shelter portion of the tent…shelter does not always mean sleeping. Some people like a bivy and mesh over the head. Some like a real tent, like the Contrail. Some just use a ground cloth and tarp. Your choice...
Soo, thinking in “systems” becomes perhaps as important as the weight of the gear you will carry. Another example: a sleep system: Long johns, socks, bag, pad, down sweater and ground cloth. Thinking of one sleeping system, you can get away with a lighter 40F bag, with good long johns, down sweater and socks. The system will boost a 40F bag to ~25F. A pad is too important for insulation to do without, get the lightest, thickest one you can get.
Continuing from the previous example, the mesh tent will provide a ground cloth, bug protection and critter deterrence. Soo, a 2#6 bag is a huge overkill. You can drop the 2#6 bag for a 15oz bag. And replace a layer of “emergency” cloths (just in case) with sleeping cloths. A good example of some trade offs within systems, not really saving any weight with overall sleeping gear, but saving a lot on base pack weight and allowing you to do more with what you are carrying. Typically, over 24 hours, you want to use everything. If not, then you are carrying dead weight.
For some things, like the pad in the above example, there is not a lot of choice. You have to have one. For cooking, it is the same way. Stove, fuel and a pot are “must have.” Spoons, well, some people like simple chopsticks made up as they go. Fires are not always allowed or possible on hills. Lighting is important in woods. Some items do not easily adapt themselves to dual use. A stove is a stove, what else is it good for? It doesn’t even make a good screw driver. A knife is impossible to make or be without. For those “must have” items choose good, solid, dependable stuff, and, of course, light weight.
Spreadsheets are good for weighing gear. But they are not the bottom line. Often, trade-offs within a system for ultralight packing will yield greater results than simply buying the lightest item out there. But, changing your thinking and your approach to UL hiking & camping will show you which items need to be lightened up. Remember, examples are only examples…YOU need to live with your choices.
So, start with camping: Shelter, Sleeping, Cooking. Look for items that do dual or triple duty. Combine as much as you can into systems. Minimize those things you must have. The last thing (next year?,)pick out a pack to hold it all.