Not to sound too harsh, but it sounds like to me that the difficulty that you are having has more to do with your personal frustration that those around you don't see your logic of going UL and unwillingness to adopt your UL ways.
I can understand the annoyance if the group leader and others are hassling you about your gear.
For me, the possible frustration is the relatively slower pace of the group in daily mileage. However, when I have taken trips with traditional backpackers, I have already adjusted my expectations to reduce or eliminate the frustrations with their slower pace. I tend to think of the trip as a very leisurely dayhike.
When I go on backpacking trips, I am no longer trying to convince anyone that my way/the UL way is the best way to do things. In fact, I tell everyone that I am just plain nuts when it comes to how I do it and the gear that I am taking. I tell them that they way that I am doing things is not for everyone.
That seems to end the conversation or criticism because I have simply confirmed what they are thinking.
Now, if they see that I am not shivering at night, not eating cold miserable food, and I am really enjoying the trip with less physical strains....that might spark a conversation about my gear and UL techniques.
Not leading by example, living by example.
More importantly, UL is just a means for me to beter enjoy my backpacking trips. I just want to get out there and see stuff and enjoy the company of the people who I am traveling with.
So let them be critical and tell you that you are crazy and you are risking your life. Just smile and agree with them. Tell them that what you do isn't for everyone, but it works for you.
As my friend, Jay, says, "They just don't know....they just don't know."
Which means, traditional backpackers just have no idea of what UL involved and what it is. They have a whole industry telling them that traditional gear is the only safe way to go into the outdoors is with that gear. Anything else is challenging established dogma. They can not see or touch UL gear at their local REI, so they have a lot of misperceptions about what it is.
This might shock you, but I have a childhood friend of mine, Jeff, who went from traditional backpacking and then UL, having been exposed to my UL propoganda, and now is back to traditional backpacking with some UL elements.
It just did not work for him. He is not careful wtih his gear, does not want to bother with carefully packing everything into a tiny pack. He simply wants to grab it all and dump it into his massive pack and be done with it.
Hike your own hike and realize that you are just plain nuts and a fringe backpacker.
Wear it with UL Pride!