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R Alsborg
(FastWalker) - MLife

Locale: Southwest
Re: Re: Re: Your wife's message on 08/29/2006 09:51:44 MDT Print View

Geeeezz......... I'm glad I'm single!

Edited by FastWalker on 08/29/2006 09:52:24 MDT.

Michael Wands
(walksoftly) - F

Locale: Piney Woods
Re: Re: Re: Re: Your wife's message on 08/29/2006 13:23:30 MDT Print View

You have to really be carefull about what you say to your spouse regarding solo hiking.

Telling dear wifie that my trail name was "Steps On Snake" was NOT SMART!!!

Telling my sweetie about the mountain lion tracks that circled my sleeping site was DEFINITELY NOT SMART!!!!

Now I try to keep everything very low key and just rant and rave about the peace and quiet of the out-of-doors. I don't really go into details about the trip, but do try to have some pictures of the more scenic places that I visit.

mark henley
(flash582) - F - M
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your wife's message on 08/29/2006 14:55:50 MDT Print View

So ... having a trail name of "eaten by Grizzly" or "AccidentWaitingToHappen" probably wouldn't inspire confidence either ...

Important relationship advice!

larry savage
(pyeyo) - F

Locale: pacific northwest
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your wife's message on 08/29/2006 17:41:50 MDT Print View

You know, trail names, climbing routes, and animals seen are all taken with a left-handed sort of pride, NOW I remember telling her this summit hasn't been repeated in a decade, that I saw 5 bears, that if there ever was a trail it's gone now and 1100 feet of devil's club got me back on track.
From now on it's fuzzy bunnies on the pink fleece cloud trail for me.
What an idiot telling her about the years of S&R tales.
Way too many of my stories have a "and then the sun went down as the first snowflakes came down in earnest" part.
Soft sell the trip, take a partner, cancel out of half of the doubled number of trips, work on a nice romantic outing, make more money, lose ten pounds, keep our daughter occupied, so ... I can climb Glacier Peak in Oct., yippee.

Jay McCombs
(jmccombs) - MLife

Locale: Southwest
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your wife's message on 08/29/2006 19:35:38 MDT Print View

Hi Larry. Your wife is using displacement. Its a defense mechanism. What she really wants to do is delete your mental favorites by cracking your nugget and eliminate your "personal" cookies.

You have to talk to your wife. She's likely scared of something. Ask her why she doesn't like you going camping. You said you like to talk things to death earlier, but do you ever really listen to what she's telling you? You must find balance. Don't make your wife compete w/camping, make camping compete w/your wife.

Serriously, if you're really worried see a therapist. Relationships are hard, sometimes it takes someone elses perspective to help fix the little kinks.

Please send me your insurance information so I can bill them for this session.

douglas ray
(Dray)

Locale: Olympic Peninsula
If you really want to understand on 08/29/2006 19:38:34 MDT Print View

My best advice is to read the book "For Men only: A straitforeward guide to the inner lives of women" I just finished it and it is by fare the most usefull book I've ever come across for understanding your wife. It's also easy to read and not all that long. Than you'll be the one handing out marriage advice on the internet.

larry savage
(pyeyo) - F

Locale: pacific northwest
Re: If you really want to understand on 08/29/2006 20:29:52 MDT Print View

Can I take the book to read on a solo trip?
Just kidding, I truly appreciate the well thought advice from everyone I realized when I posted this that things needed to change, whether it's a lot of little stuff or as Jay points out some relationship counseling.
Found the book on Amazon, I'll try or local store first...I'll try to bring this back around in the fall for, as they say, some closure.

Steven Hanlon
(asciibaron) - F

Locale: Mid Atlantic
kharma on 10/10/2006 13:04:36 MDT Print View

i had a hardy laugh at your misfortune. well, kharma has bit me in the backside - my wife left a message yesterday morning on my cellphone informing me that the upstairs toilet overflowed and flooded the bathroom and laundry room below it.

when i got to my car after a wonderful 2 days at Dolly Sods, i listen to the message and than call her. i ask her if everything was ok and get a sob story about how she couldn't make it stop overflowing no matter how many times she tried to flush. when i asked her if she turned the silver handle next to the toilet that turns the water off, she told me in no uncertain terms that it would not budge.

so i get home and the first thing i do is see if i can break the water valve free in case the toilet floods again - it turns freely with little force.

kharma my friends, kharma. now i have to worry what is going to happen next time i go backpacking.

-steve

larry savage
(pyeyo) - F

Locale: pacific northwest
Re: kharma on 10/10/2006 19:54:57 MDT Print View

And so another tale begins....

mark henley
(flash582) - F - M
Re: Re: kharma on 10/11/2006 09:07:06 MDT Print View

Dig a hole and build a outhouse, then tell your wife that you're going to shut off all the toilets the next time your leaving.

Without a doubt, you'll get some type of response!

peter pattenbury
(P-Jay)

Locale: Australia
Reluctant Partners. on 10/17/2006 21:33:14 MDT Print View

And I thought I was the only bloke who had a back-packing incompatible partner.. thankyou for the insights guys..
My 0.02c worth: lavish much time and attention and care on partner. Assure her she's the one you want to spend your life with... but there's some things a man's gotta do. We aren't all stamped out of a cookie cutter; tell her to enjoy the differences; it is not de-valuing her or your relationship. I know some people are selfish, or demanding, or insecure. I found a good counsellor works...

Glenn Roberts
(garkjr) - F

Locale: Southwestern Ohio
OR... on 10/17/2006 21:38:21 MDT Print View

When you want to go backpacking, you could surprise her with an all-arrangements-made-by-you-in-advance weekend at a motel near her favorite shopping center, golf course, spa, etc. You both get to do something you enjoy - and there's nobody left at home to screw up the plumbing.

Edited by garkjr on 10/18/2006 04:35:31 MDT.

mark henley
(flash582) - F - M
Re: OR... on 10/23/2006 14:55:12 MDT Print View

Here's probably the best idea yet.

When you leave on a Solo trip, hand her a few $20's and ask her if she would mind buying some new shoes or a new outfit for herself, to wear out to dinner when you return. (The total value increases with trip length, by the way).

That way, you can equate your need for the backcountry with her need to buy shoes .... Viva la difference!