You might want to look at the MSR Hubba Hubba - the body is all mesh, except for a small panel in part of the roof, so you'd get maximum breathability - approaching sleeping-under-the-stars ventilation - with the fly off. If you pitch the fly, you can open both vestibules completely, again exposing all that lovely mesh. Of course, if you have to button them up tight, all bets are off. (The vestibules - one on each side - are split down the middle, so if the rain isn't too bad, you could leave half of it open, which would allow a fair amount of ventilation.) All in all, a very nice tent.
One other suggestion: how about a shared tarp and individual bivies? It would maximize ventilation (and let each of you adjust to suit your own preferences) while still providing adequate rain shelter. For tarps, I'd suggest the Granite Gear White Lightning, probably 10x10 size. It's a snap to pitch, since it requires only two cords to guy out the ends; the side guy-outs are adjustable webbing, like a tent. For bivy sacks, my first choice would be the ID Salathe, if ventilation is a concern, since the storm panel opens to the waist and is fully backed by mesh for bug protection. If bugs aren't a problem, you can save a pound (and a lot of money) with the REI Minimalist bivy, which opens to the waist, but doesn't have the mesh backing. The White Lightning and Salathe are not the lightest gear out there (one tarp plus two bivies will put you just over 5 pounds), but they are incredibly easy to use, functional and bombproof. Substituting REI Minimalist bivies will let you get by for just over 3 pounds, and save about $200 - but you lose the bug protection.