Advice from Will Rogers
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Michael Crosby
(djjmikie) - MLife

Locale: Ky
Advice from Will Rogers on 03/26/2010 07:15:43 MDT Print View

Will Rogers died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend,

Wylie Post, but his advice lives on.

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a "cow chip" on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman .
Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look
back every now and then to make sure
it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep
your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look
this way. I've traveled a long way,
and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to
go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without
getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you
about aging is that it is such a nice change
from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how
splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the
ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,

you won't have anything to laugh at.