A big thanks to the interwebs and all the crazy lightweight backpacking resources.
There are so many great ideas on here, so this being the gear list forum, I wanted to list what has been most helpful thus far.
1) ditched the aluminum pot/pan combo with canister stove for the Heineken pot/lid setup with a supercat stove. This setup with 16 oz. of fuel, a modded ziploc container (doubles as a measuring cup/eating bowl) and a foil windscreen weighs in at around a pound (without fuel, setup weighs 5 ounces). Our old setup was well over two pounds with a full canister. The particular pot/pan combo weighs a pound itself.
Once we hit the trail, I realized that all we ever did was boil water for freeze dried meals, oatmeal and cocoa. Why carry 1+ extra pounds?
2) I enjoyed my synthetic down pillow I scored at the REI garage sale on the cheap, but it weighs a little over a pound. Stash it in the car for sleepy passengers and use a shirt/jacket as a pillow if you really need it.
3) Tent. That roomy 3P tent sure is nice, but 7 pounds of tent when 3-4 pounds will do is just asking for it. I'm in the market for a new one now, but that should cut some poundage.
4) We plan on doing most of our camping in summer. Why lug 2 sleeping bags around when my 2 pound 35* bag (Lafuma Warm 'N Light XL) can be fully unzipped and used as a quilt? It's a square bag, not a mummy style, and it's an "XL', so probably about the size of a full size comforter. This way she can leave her 3.35 pound mummy bag at home (Mountain Hardwear Switch 35).
So with those 4 simple steps, we've already taken off roughly 9 pounds between us and we had already started at around a "trailhead" weight of 25# each including food on our last trip. And we way over packed on food. Once we sit down and REALLY plan out our food, we should be comfortably under 20 pounds each come this summer.
So I hope this helps any other newcomers and I welcome any other input on gear selection or simple, effective ways of cutting weight without spending big dollars.