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Michael Crosby
(djjmikie) - MLife

Locale: Ky
ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 07:52:43 MST Print View

**DISCLAIMER** These may or may not be accurate quotes from these people. They are just funny.

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President also attributed to: John Kerry and Dan Quayle.
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?

Edited by djjmikie on 03/09/2010 09:21:28 MST.

Juston Taul
(Junction)

Locale: Atlanta, GA
ahhh! on 03/09/2010 07:58:35 MST Print View

That hurt just reading it.

Travis Leanna
(T.L.) - MLife

Locale: Wisconsin
Re: ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 07:59:57 MST Print View

You gotta remember this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

Absolutely Classic.

Wait, this one has subtitles!

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=WALIARHHLII&feature=related

Edited by T.L. on 03/09/2010 08:02:05 MST.

Doug I.
(idester) - MLife

Locale: MidAtlantic
Re: ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 08:27:45 MST Print View

Hmmmmm. Funny, but not all are true -- or more accurately, were said by the people they're attributed to. Quick examples of false attribution above: Mariah Carey, Al Gore.

Steven Evans
(Steve_Evans) - MLife

Locale: Canada
Re: Re: ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 08:29:03 MST Print View

HahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA...that was great!

Steven Evans
(Steve_Evans) - MLife

Locale: Canada
Re: Re: ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 08:30:21 MST Print View

Mariah Carey didn't say that?

That was one of my favorites. :(

John Brochu
(JohnnyBgood4) - F

Locale: New Hampshire
Re: Re: Re: ever feel a little bit stupid on 03/09/2010 09:32:08 MST Print View

How does a stupid quote thread exist without quotes from the king of stupid quotes...?


"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"