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As far as packs, if the Exos series wasn't one that you tried on, I can 2nd it. I went with a Gossamer Gear Gorilla myself, but I tried the Exos and like it, the Gorilla was just lighter. If you can fit your stuff in a 30 liter pack, there's an Exos 34 that's only 2lb 2oz) and if drop the detachable lid, it's under 2lbs.
What was your packweight before? BPL kind of resets your mindset so that what seemed ridiculous before seems just average now.
Last summer I was carry 37lb packs for overnighters(w/food+ water). This last week I've been staring at a gear list for a 3 night, 4 day trip with a base weight of 11lb (17.5lb food/water) and wondering why I can't get my baseweight below 10lbs (answer: bear cannister). But I've seriously been bothered because I read all these sub 10lb lists and wonder where I'm going wrong.
The thing is though, I can comfortably carry 17.5lbs, my shoulders don't get sore, I don't feel like I'm going to tip backwards walking uphill. I could go lower (lighter pack, stuff made from cuben, etc) and I will eventually, but it's not like last year when my shoulders ached after 6 miles.
20lbs total weight is pretty good. To get below that, you'd have to consider a lighter tent or tarp combo, you could save 11 oz by dropping serious money on a Nunatak Specialist Quilt instead of the hydrogen (or less money and save 8oz on a JRB No Sniveler), but that's more money.
As long as you can hike your hike in comfort, getting lower is just a challenge and a long term goal that requires further adjustment of mindset as to what is necessary to you.
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