I generally use 1mm jet holes, 3/64" is ok too. You will find that this isn't the issue though. What will happen is that the flames just get longer, because the factor which determines the rate the stove burns at is less to do with jet hole size, and more to do with the amount of heat getting back down the stove body to the fuel, i.e. the vapourisation rate.
There are several ways to slow it down a bit. You can try making another with a taller stove body, this will create more cooling area on the stove sides, and move the top a bit further away from the fuel, so less heat gets radiated back onto it.
Another thing to try is moving the row of jet holes higher up so the flames heat less of the stove top on the way upwards. You need to drill at an angle into the upper ridge so you don't pierce the opposite side or snap the drill when it breaks through.
Lastly, you can make fewer jet holes. Getting the right number for the ambient temperature is tricky, so experiment by covering a few of your existing stoves jet holes until it seems about right. Sticky backed aluminium flue tape is handy for this job. You will need to make a stand and get the pan at the optimum height above the stove (about 1/2" - 3/4") so you allow for the reflected heat feedback to the stove off the pan base too.
Another trick is to stand the stove on a light foil dish, and pour in a few drops of water once it gets going strongly. If you do that, be sure to press a few ridges into the dish round the stove base to prevent it floating off to one side once the fuel level gets low. Also, you can put a piece of wick around the stove on the dish and soak that with alcohol to prime the stove. This is much quicker than trying to prime it from the top. Be sure to start with a stove less than half full of fuel, or you may cause liquid fuel to boil out of the jet holes and cause a flare up. Again, experiment will teach you the right amount to use.