Ryan, I know exactly how you feel.
I found myself in a similar situation the other day. I wanted/needed to park it on a small site consisting of deeep, soooft, dryyyy sand!
FYI, I didn't have anything to tie off to. I suppose I could have used a couple of bushes and looong guy-lines for two tie outs? Possible, but???
Long story short: I used one of my LuxuryLite Big Stiks to hold up the Gatewood Cape. I removed the unnecessary Needle Knife/trowel from it and used that for one stake. Took apart the other Big Stik (a four piece) and now I had four additional stakes; including my version of LuxuryLite's basket tip (tip top kit).
I use an extension for my LuxuryLite umbrella .... voila, a sixth stake.
Result: A freaking rock solid set-up which easily withstood 20 mph winds and rain .... I stayed warm and dry!
Not even the best sand/snow stakes I have used in the past would have served given the conditions.
Mark; proper site selection is an oft heard comment. And you are absolutely correct in mentioning it. BUT proper site selection is not even an issue inside a steep river canyon. Especially that particular day. So I had to make do. Strange, before this day I hadn't thought of using the LL pole sections for stakes.
BTW, no crevices, not rocks, no nail stakes and no way to pound them into volcanic rock. Just a few bushes, poorly located and covered w/blackberry vines (ouch).