This is one incident, that generally brings considerable joy to those who hear it, and added embarressment for me...
1. Jetboil stove used on your first trip with it along, will have suffered damage to the piezo ignitor that is not obvious to you, from friend who borrowed it previously for canyoning expedition.
2. Jetboil with damaged piezo will not light, without matches or other suitable spark.
3. Remember matches before trip whilst packing, but think; Jetboil has piezo; no probs, and I'm sure my experienced buddy will bring some; heck at worst its only an overnighter. 3 seconds of laziness......
4. When you finally give up on hike on getting Jetboil to lite, after about 500 clicks of the ignition, and decide to put cold water in freezedried kungpow chicken meal, so that hopefully after an hour or so it will rehydrate enough to eat...and your mate decides to have one last go at the Jetboil...IT WILL LIGHT. He will subsequently have nice hot meal.
5. Just putting cold water in freeze dried meal packet of x (I forget) brand, will not rehydrate meal in foreseeable future.
6. Continually emptying kungpow chicken of cold water to add small amounts of warm water only succeeds in slowly rehydrating it (forcing you to eat it later on moral grounds) and diluting the flavour to the point that you decide to add the hot spice flavour packet that came with it.
7. When directions on Kungpow chicken hot spice sachet say "add to taste" they mean it.
8. Realising that with increased hot water dilutions, your meal still isnt rehydrating properly, do not think back to your survival training and remember that your groin is a warm area, and think; I can put my freeze dried meal down there with its fancy zip lock to keep warm and rehydrate. The zip lock WILL OPEN, after you have forgotten it is there, in your jocks, spilling tepid water, laden with potent spice in your precious nether regions, along with bits of freeze dried meal.
9. While you are standing by a bush painfully (trust me Kungpow chicken hot spice stings down there) removing bits of food, and your mate is rolling around in the dirt laughing; remember that you are still hungry and have to eat after a long hard day off track setting rogaine checkpoints.
10. When eating tepid, barely hydrated Kung pow chicken, refer back to point 7 "When directions on Kungpow chicken hot spice sachet say "add to taste" they mean it". Drinking 5 litres of water while consuming this farce will not help it go down any easier.
11. Mate, no matter how trustworthy, will tell all about this on your return to civilisation. Cute girls you have never even met before will come up to you on the train giggling and say: "Are you the kung pow chicken guy? Hilarious!"
12. Subsequently never use jetboil bushwalking again, and cringe at the thought of eating anything freeze dried that seems remotely related to Kung Pow chicken. Prefer to eat damp rice laced with chilli powder instead.